I have long suspected that 99% of the dreams that I temporarily remember upon waking were only triggered by a pillow reducing blood flow to the brain and 5 seconds of what basically amounts to hallucination.
I don’t think you can categorise this as sleep apnoea as it is caused by pillows / quilts / whatever and not anything within my body itself.
Either way, dreams do not have an accessible script writer or editor, so maybe there is a link between finding a 2008 pic of my kids in the bottom of a box as I was tidying the workshop yesterday, and a dream about my ex still being a psycho skank ho some years in the future.
These “nocturnal dreams” are different from daydreams, I can daydream about all sorts of shit at will, but the nocturnal ones are directed and edited by something deeper.
Clearly finding that photo triggered some process that later manifested itself as a dream.
I’m finding sex is getting more and more like a night dream, or smoking, or, rather, not smoking..
Not smoking, also referred to as quitting, has many of these same qualities, up will pop some sketch in which you are smoking, shades of the dream in that you can’t direct it or deny it, but of course like a daydream you can dismiss it, and get on with whatever it was you are doing, and you have beaten another cigarette.
And that is true for smokes, drink, drugs, anything that you formed habit forming pathways in your brain for, the pathways are always there, and there will always be random shit that sends the odd dreamlike thing down the pathways, and you’ll get that urge again… all you have to do it tell it to stay buried and fuck off.
I am finding elements of sex in this.
I’d quite like a good [ ] now, the trouble is, while the fantasy [ ] is great, in reality it won’t be like that, and it will definitely have negative aspects, so do I actually want a [ ] right now, or am I just fucking bored? In which case I should get off my ass and do something productive and worthwhile and entertaining.
The [ ] of course being a blank where you fill in what you like, smoke, drink, fuck…
There is also the stated but often ignored “I’d quite like a GOOD [ ]…” so ignored that you didn’t actually read that rider / proviso / word in the para above, and yet it was there.
A good [ ] is a good thing, but an average / mediocre [ ] is crap and a waste of fucking time and effort…. trouble is, we all know 99% of them are average / mediocre / crap, and chasing after that good one no longer has the magic allure / pull it used to.
Waking up next to a hot wimminz sounds good, in reality waking up alone, making my coffee, chilling, sitting here in my towel ready for my morning shower with my laptop on my lap and no fucker to nag me or get in my space is better.
I guess what really started this was talking to one of my skank ho sluts, because as you all know (if you don’t, you bloody well should have known this) all wimminz dream of a state wherein every man who has had them spends the rest of his life having no other wimminz but dreaming of and pining after them, and my throwaway comment that I could give up wimminz as easy as I gave up smoking.
What upset her was the follow on comment that since the pathways are there in your brain, you only have to give up one smoke at a time, or one slut at a time, and if you just stop and ignore the craving for even one second, and think instead how “good” that individual smoke / skank ho is likely to be, or not, not that good, not unique at all, not rare at all, not a grab it now or forever lose it opportunity, still available at the same cost in 10 minutes, suddenly it ain’t that hard to beat smoking… or skanks…
But, it is true, and the secret is a simple decision, do I control the pathways in my brain, or do I allow external forces such as nicotine or cunt to write pathways in my brain and THEN MANDATE THAT THEY ARE USED.
That’s the issue, whether it is cunt or nicotine or booze, once that pathway is written it becomes an autobahn, the easiest route, and every other route seems to have signs directing you to the autobahn, so it is oh so easy to give in.
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So why, given that these pathways once written stay there, and once there are so easy to use, and given that dreams are so out of my control, but nevertheless triggered by real world events…..
… why do I never dream of having a smoke?
… why do I never dream of getting married?
… why do I never dream of having more kids?
…why do I never dream of banging some young incredibly hot chick who worships my ass?
No, instead I dream about my dad, and my number one son, and time and space and reality are all twisted so that we can all be “there” together, wherever “there” is, but apart from that it is pretty basic stuff, no flights of fancy, no impossibility, just doing ordinary stuff and having ordinary conversations, but conversations based upon a real awareness of the world, and wimminz, so for example we have my dad who is long since dead and my number one son who is far too young to have even heard of such things, discussing the PIIGS and the fall of the western economies and a world in which each one of us represents the very last of something, in my dad’s case the very last proper father, in my case the very last proper time served engineer, and in my sons case the very last born into the old western world.
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