It was many years ago, but we were a local bunch of lads, and they’d only charged us with 0.5% of what we had done, so the sentences were pretty short, so old Cess (long dead now) decided we could be let out of our cells to do the outside grounds work party, cushy number.
Christmas was coming over the horizon and we were all getting out before then, so Cess had us out front planting Daffodil bulbs for the spring… time passed, got out, forgot all about it, until one day early spring the next year, walking down the street, and who is coming the other way but old Cess, I grinned at him because he was basically a good bloke, and he walks up to me and says “CUNTS”… with a wry grin himself.
Took me a minute for my brain to catch up, well, you give a bunch of cons a load of daffodil bulbs and tell them to plant them on the sloping lawn out front of the prison, what do you expect us to do, plant them randomly or plant them in the shapes of letters…
Reminded every year of that when the daffs come out… which, because of the fucked up way my brain works, got me to thinking of PUA’s
The thing that, as far as I know, none of them deal with, is the nature a wimminz, as the saying goes, a key that opens any lock is a master key, a lock that will open for most keys is a door.
You sit there thinking if only Julie was the great pizza she could be, without the turd on top that she keeps laying fresh every day, then thinking how this imaginary Julie would be great to be with, meanwhile, all there is is the real Julie, who is a worthless skank.
PUA promoters sell themselves as guys who can train beta boys who are crap at dating and picking up wimminz to be leet sex fiends like the self appointed PUA promoter.
But, like the planting the daffodils, they all omit one vital fact.
The wimminz, and the thing is, the wimminz are absolute fucking crap at the whole dating game, you think *you* were crap beta boy, trust me, you had elite skills that the wimminz could only dream of.
They really cannot discriminate between the asshole, the pump and dump merchant, and the decent guy who they really should be paying attention to…. so they follow the TV model and the most intrusive and annoying and in your face advert is the one that gets remembered.
Which is why the PUA promoters all seem to be intrusive and annoying and in your face I guess, but it means that they too are missing the vital point about the wimminz, which is that they are crap at the whole dating game.
Suddenly you turn from a key that will open any door into a lock that will open for most keys, you’re doing the same thing mentioned above with Julie, not seeing the real Julie, but this time you’re looking in the fucking mirror.
You are not in the driving seat, you are not in control, you are not manipulating events rather than being manipulated by them.
We were doing easy time in an easy (compared to some) jail and old Cess was an easy guy to have in charge of you, but, we weren’t free, so we would take any, and every, opportunity we could get to stick it to the man, without drawing down shit on ourselves.
Even delayed time bomb shit like spelling CUNTS with the daffs was worth doing…. I heard from someone a couple of years later who went to the same place and also became one of old Cess’s trusty’s, that they could do all the gardening chores, but were no longer allowed anywhere near the planting of bulbs… I guess both Cess and the Governor learned their lesson there, which is more than can be said for the fucking PUA promoters.
Wimminz don’t wanna be single and on dating sites and shit, that is their prison, sentenced to life in their own company, with mebbe cats and womb turds, and boy let me tell you they are CRAP at the dating game, so the very first thing you need to keep in your mind at all times is this, they will take any and every opportunity to stick it to you.