I see a lot of memes getting “grip” lately, one of them is the I always knew I would survive that shit meme, and here I am, I was right.
So here’s a story, it might be true, it might be not, it might be true for me, it might be not, but it has certainly been true for many.
So, there we were, we few, young and immortal and immoral, and sure, everyone knows it is dangerous, but nobody actually believes they are going to be the one left over when the music stops, not really, cos you wouldn’t stay there… even the ones who are convinced they aren’t going to make it, they don’t really believe that, as in, today is the fucking day dude.
Years pass, and here I am, still here, so I can sit here and lay claim to that meme, I always knew I would survive that shit somehow.
But the very nature of the beast means that all those who shared that belief, which was the majority, and who are NOT fucking here today, and they are not here to say they were wrong.
It’s not democratic or proportional representation or statistically viable or even accurate, when the only people who get a say are the small minority who survived, to actually have a say.
Nowadays we are so assfucked and limp wristed that the one who walks away is most likely to wrap themselves in some shit labelled survivors guilt, oh why did I survive when all those other poor fuckers died, fuck that shit, you just did, end of, go down a cold one to celebrate, and if you don’t say much about it it ain’t survivors guilt, you’re just aware that none of them that died have a voice, so why should you speak, just cos there is nobody else to take the podium.
Why did I survive? I don’t got no answers for you, and the truth is, if I had answers, I wouldn’t be giving them away for free…. you dig?
When you work at a company that you know is hurting, and your fellow employees are hurting, I’m the cunt who doesn’t try to talk you out of jumping ship and seeking pastures new, the more of you jump ship the less chance there is of them throwing me overboard to meet the new downsized quota… fuck you very much.. >;*)
Level playing fields are for assholes, if the deck is stacked in my favour because I am a single man and I can survive on our measly salary better than the guy with the wife and the newborn kid… well… sucks to be him.
I’m not going to raise a single finger to fuck you up or make you look bad or stab you in the back, but, if the portions at the communal feeding trough are gonna be cut, I’ll survive on a smaller daily calorie intake than you.
I’m here because I am lucky, no doubt about it, I’m also here because I know when to be cautious, no doubt about it, I am also here because I have no problem stacking the deck in my favour without stabbing you in the back, no doubt about it.
If you need a hundred quid a week more than me to live because you have a wife and kid, that right there is a survival advantage to me… if the rope bridge is the only way out but there is no real pressing need to take it cos you can survive this side of the gorge, the fat cunt can go first and test it, if staying this side is dying then me, the skinny cunt, will go first, thangyewverrymuch, nice knowing ya.
If you’re going to listen to a survivor, don’t listen to one that spouts totally worthless bullshit that will get you killed FAR more often than not, like I always knew I would survive.
There is a similarish meme going round ZH at the moment, so, where is this any fucking day now crash we have been expecting since 2007?
Just because it hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean it won’t, just because those asking that question have survived THUS FAR, doesn’t mean there is any expectation that they will continue to do so…
Yes, shit can continue for far longer than any one person would reasonably or rationally credit, but that still has little or no connection to the fact that sooner or later if you keep adding air the balloon is going to burst.
Genuine survivors of shit will tell you, along with everyone else knowing they were gonna survive it too, there were two other things that everyone else knew too.
1/ wow, thank fuck that’s over, well, that should be the worst of it.
2/ I have no fucking idea why I am actually still here.
Boom, it wasn’t over, and Fred is no longer still here.
It is both human and animal nature, if you can see imminent danger and have time to avoid it, you will.
All of the above I always knew I would survive memes are based upon the farcical idea that people faced a choice at such times, and therefore were able, in even the smallest way, to influence their chances of survival.
Bullshit.
What happens is you don’t realise it is imminent danger until it is too late to avoid it, sometimes there isn’t even time to realise, it’s over before it started for you.
You can call it luck or stacking the deck or caution or anything else you like, to survive you have to avoid the scenario where the imminent danger is revealed too late for you to avoid, and you can’t do that by looking for imminent danger, it ain’t there yet, and you can’t do that by looking at the background hum, too much noise drowning the signal, so all that’s left is stacking the deck.
Infantry are trained from boot camp to carry the rifle in their hands in the ready position, ready to return fire within a second. Slinging it and leaving both hands free will cost you an additional 4 to 5 seconds to return fire.. I never saw anyone killed by that *additional* 5 seconds, they already walked into a firezone, and stood there for 5 seconds as an ungainly biped that gave up the use of his 2 most important limbs, just so he could service his rifle. Free both his hands and he will use them, and move different, and use all his other senses different too.
Anathema to the OIC, but you never see a tracker or old asia hand or old africa hand, eg a fucking survivor, with both fucking hands full.
I’ll tell you what is a true story about me, I have said to assholes to their face, “You are going to kill people.” and I have been 100% right
I need some advice, we’ve got a new program at work, 2 people like it one of whom has great influence. I think its a piece of crap and so does another guy. When asked by the bossman what i think; how should i respond? rip me to shreds!
Comment by Hamish — June 3, 2014 @ 11:00 pm
read this,, you’ll get to the bit in red
https://wimminz.wordpress.com/2013/12/22/russian-crashes-on-youtube-a-bed-time-story/
Comment by wimminz — June 3, 2014 @ 11:29 pm
Thanks, that explains a lot of cunty-ness i see at the workplace. Do you think all bosses are like that or just the cunts?
Comment by Hamish — June 4, 2014 @ 5:12 pm
if there is a food shortage, a skinny cunt could starve faster than a fat cunt.
Comment by Joe — June 3, 2014 @ 11:27 pm
I´m actually rethinking this proposition and increasingly finding it an insidious fallacy.
A fat cunt isn´t only fat “in the belly/ass” but also in the head.
Skinny bastards simply have a leg up because of the increased options available to them.
For example simply being able to start walking without 30kilos of (at that moment)useless fat is a major leg up for the skinny bastard.
Comment by hans — June 4, 2014 @ 1:50 pm
Indeed, contrary to 99.88% of the western world’s experience, the whole world isn’t a lounge…
I’d like to see a mid twenties fat cunt get as far or as fast up a tree as this unfit fifty-something cunt…
Don’t even get me started on fitting through gaps and into smaller places, either for ingress / egress or sanctuary.
Or let’s talk about a boat or plane with an absolute maximum payload of 1000 kilos, who is going to win the fight to get on, the 20 skinny cunts outnumbering the fat cunts 2:1, or the 100 kilo plus guys? Or how about where weight isn’t an issue but volume is, same difference.
Sure, the fat cunt has fat reserves that he can live off, and they mass more than mine in kilos, but contrast that to the fact that his body has zero experience metabolising his own stores, and mine has a lot, and the fact that metabolising fat aside, my daily calorific requirement is *significantly* less than theirs, as is my equally important water requirement.
Historically being fat was a sign of great indolence and great wealth, both, not either / or, and what was classed as fat historically is barely fucking average nowadays.
Comment by wimminz — June 4, 2014 @ 2:00 pm
If you are a skinny cunt and you are going to kill people, if there are fat cunts around there will be no food shortage.
Comment by kfg — June 4, 2014 @ 12:17 am
@if there is a food shortage, a skinny cunt could starve faster than a fat cunt.
skinny cunt can run down fat cunt and cook him. long pork is good eats!
Comment by let it burn — June 4, 2014 @ 6:37 pm
him? what about her, hambeast with stuffing…lol
Comment by wimminz — June 4, 2014 @ 7:09 pm
Or, you know, you can become a strongcunt, and be able to carry all the supplies n ammo you need on your person.
Kind of like how military training works.
Comment by Digger Nick — June 5, 2014 @ 9:07 am
i read this and thought of teh cisco kids, dunno if you know about it http://grugq.tumblr.com/post/87954898798/i-hunt-sys-admins-the-intercept
Comment by humble — June 6, 2014 @ 7:28 pm
Know about it, cunts should all be impaled and left to die, no exceptions, none.
Comment by wimminz — June 6, 2014 @ 7:33 pm