Wimminz – celebrating skank ho's everywhere

It wasn’t exactly *common* knowledge back then, but it was known, you could take a 1980 car with a totally flat battery, on a piece of flat road / track so there was no possibility of bump starting, whaddaya do?

A pair of humble PP6 lantern batteries,  and you got power for the points and coil ignition, not for long, but for long enough to get it started, if you only connect it when ready to start.

But what do you do, crank handles went out with the thirties, and it’s flat..and you’re alone… piece of piss, your vehicle is fitted with a differential, so you just put it in 4th and jack up one side, and turn the wheel on that side by hand, which will turn the engine, which will start it.

It was the same with being “stuck” in sand, let all the air out of all the tyres, you’ll move again, and even a bicycle pump *will* inflate a car or light truck tyre, eventually.

Try it with a 2010 vehicle and you’re shit out of luck, that first “stall speed” step I talk about is much higher, thanks to the technology under the hood, even if you mate turns up with a brand new fully charged battery, a lot of cars will insist on going back to the dealership for the on-board computers to be reset before they will allow any ignition process to initiate…. and how are you got to hot-wire the sealed boxes of an ECU and electronic fuel injectors and hall effect ignition triggers? All of which want input from sensors measuring oxygen and temperature and pressure and throttle position and only start in neutral sensors before even beginning the ignition initialisation process?

“Black box” engineering is great, ***if*** you have a ready supply to hand at an affordable price of the appropriate black boxes.

I talked yesterday about my NAS box, and how I have a shit ton of drivers, every version of windows, every version of office, several Linux distros, yadda yadda yadda, walk into my workshop and the shelves are groaning with all sorts of cables and adapters, that’s about six different sorts of mini USB to start with.

You now need the equivalent for cars, the merc diagnostic suite, the ford diagnostic suite, the Renault diagnostic suits, the firmware for every version of every ECU, including the “chipped” varieties, all the different O2/lambda sensors, temp sensors, yadda yadda yadda.

And it is all fucking proprietary, of course, even though underneath it is as standard Bosch as the manufacturers can get it, to cut the bottom line…

HP, an engineering company killed by a woman, who can no longer compete in x86 hardware, not even the proliants, is now trying to talk about an entirely new set of PC architecture, cos, you know, if we can’t compete in this game, how about we just invent our own proprietary game, that way we can assure world dominance in that new game.

Cisco, frankly, the same, everyone else is eating their lunch… and it is no wonder, take a look at the 1941, it’s a thousand pounds, near as dammit, by the time you actually have a *useful* IOS bundle/licence installed on it, and it is pretty much the minimum spec you can go with if you have a 10 mbit fibre or EFM connection coming into the building.

Look at it.. one non hot plug PSU, which is bad enough, but horror of horrors, that fucking PROTRUDING on/off rocker switch, one that is *very* light, it only takes a couple of ounces of force to operate it.

And this is a grand before you buy any of the EHWIC add in cards.

For 600 quid the Draytek 3900 eats it’s fucking lunch, 4 WAN ports AND a fibre SFP in as standard, load balancing and fail-over as standard, 2 LAN ports as standard, firewall and QOS as standard, and yeah, it’ll handle 1 Gb on the WAN side too, and when I say as standard I mean lifetime licensing and software to do all the above built in as standard, this is how Toyota won years back, headrests, radio, all the shit everyone else charged extra for they did as standard.

I spend my life swapping out dead Cisco kit, and sure, the installed user base is a lot bigger than Draytek, but you wanna know how many dead Drayteks I have come across? … one…

Their IP-PBX and IP phones also blow away anything Cisco can do, for much less money… two level fail-over built in as standard, Main WAN > backup DSL > USB 3G, shit designed by *engineers* who sit there and wonder what happens if this goes wrong, OK, we better do this..  not shit designed by marketers and accountants… nickel and dime, bait and switch, ongoing licensing, up-sell, it’s bullshit.

I mean, what do you fucking do? The one good thing about the Cisco’s is the configuration is basically a human readable text file, you’d think this would be used to it’s fullest, so each ISP would have a default basic minimum template config file that does everything that ISP might need to do, you’d fucking think so, but you don’t wanna know the number of times I have got on site with a pre-configured router, or a blank one and a config, rack it up and lo and behold, the ISP can’t log in, because they screwed up the config sections that are supposed to get them remote access…

! is the equivalent to REM (not that I am a coder) and you’d think the cunts would use it because it would make like easy, you’d also think “sh int desc” would be used to full effect, and you’d get “GE 0/1 WAN primary EFM circuit number 123456” but oh no, if you’re fucking lucky you get “WAN“, and bear in mind you could have two currently active WAN’s on site, plus the two new ones because the site is migrating from one ISP or circuit to another, and no, none of them have labels or asset tags, or, if they do, one item will be referred to by two separate codes, eg a Bosch lamp fitted to a merc, Bosch have one part number, merc have another, same physical item, but whaddaya know.. you’d like to maybe guess, and take the entire site hard down, or worse, the central radius server for the whole enterprise?

Not on my pittance fucking wages mate, I’m paid just enough to cover my own ass, that’s it.

Now and again you hit lucky, you get on-site and find someone of a similar age as the in house tech, and you share jokes about MS and Cisco gold partnership and prince and seven sigma, MCSE = Must Consult Someone Else, and yeah, I may not be certified up the ass and I may not be an expert at this, but at least I have an actual functioning brain… and you don’t wanna know how often that and that alone is what stands between a job being a success and a total fuckup… just one underpaid uncertified old fuck on site with an actual functioning fucking brain.

Usually it’s people who don’t understand anything about the technology you are using, and they know they don’t understand anything about it, but they do know the whole ongoing process is symptomatic of gross institutionalised incompetence, and they are fucking right.

Finding a good enough wimminz to be with is much like finding a good enough ISP, and no, it don’t matter if you are a humble domestic client looking for cable/dsl, or a business looking for a 100 mbit fibre primary and 10 mbit EFM secondary circuit, mucho dinero, it’s going to the burger bar, lots of fixed choices, none of them you actually want, no bespoke service allowed.

Speedtest.net (which, frankly speaking, ain’t all that reliable) tells me my current home cable connection is 18 ms ping, 62.3 mbit down, 3.01 mbit up, (checks ebanking to see what it costs me) £31 p.c.m. so call it a quid a day, this is basically the cheapest broadband only package they do… allegedly the products are 50/100/150 mbit, they are all the same product in reality, the 50 and 100 just have rate caps, depending on overall network utilisation, so I can pay more money and have the rate cap lifted, and get not one iota more speed, because the network itself or the link to the site I want or that server itself is the limiting factor.

The 100 mbit dedicated fibre from the ISP for business is the same product, but a/ it isn’t contended / shared at the street box with 128 other customers, and b/ it is symmetrical not async, and c/ I can actually buy a fixed IP, a la phone number, instead of having an IP that is assigned dynamically, but happens to be pretty much fixed as long as the DSLAM/router doesn’t go down…

Incidentally you know you have a deep and thorough understanding of this if you were thinking so called high class (eg expensive) whore v the $10 whore, it’s the same fucking product, you just, allegedly, don’t have to share it with 128 other subscribers in your area.

In that scenario, I’m not the pimp or the fixer of the clap clinic doctor, I’m the guy who rolls the pig in flour and then puts some lipstick on it so you find it acceptable to continue to fuck, and therefore pay for.

The black boxes in the network operations centres are intercepting all your traffic at will anyway, no matter what type of customer you are, or how the pig/whore is being marketed to you.

If you think the “corporate persons” have any connection to real persons, eg any morality at all, you are sadly mistaken, if I came up with a true panopticon monitoring and interception system that actually did what it said on the tin, and told them my price was I want to fuck a lot of little girls, preferably aged five or less, the corporate persons would retire to the other side of the room to discuss the various merits of an orphanage or a clinic for young girls, to which I should be given the directorship, kid yourself not about this.

Mistaking the whore who allows you to empty your balls into her in exchange for some remuneration, with wife/girlfriend 1.0, is possibly fatal, the whore really doesn’t give a fuck if you just lost your kids / job / house, it’s play to pay and who gives a fuck about the product.

And getting back to the start, this is how the stall speed step gets ever higher with time.

It is NOT because the technology is evolving.

Every 12 and 14 mm spark plug on the planet is the same, physically, mechanically, with the exception of reach, and there are only three varieties of that, and temperature, and there are only a few varieties of that… and most importantly, ANY spark-plug can be connected to ANY ignition system.

Indirect fuel injectors could *easily* be the same, ditto lambda sensors, and all the rest of the shit.

There is no excuse whatsoever for making an ECU that does not have a physical switch (or more than one, like jumpers) that invoke default settings for each function that will work with anything, or indeed ignore or bypass anything.

Making an ECU that you can plug *any* timing system for *any* engine into, after all, physically, there are only so many possibilities, and crank the engine, and the ECU says hmmm, this looks like a hall effect trigger system for an in-line 4 cylinder engine with 180 degree crank primary balance, ok, we will start with a default setting of  0 degree advance at 50 RPM ramping up to 25 degrees of advance at 2,500 RPM, please select Y/N

If you select N it allows you to enter parameters, or just point it at a a file.

This is literally a far simpler problem to solve than plugging a random PCI card into a computer, or USB device…

Then if you like you can proceed with fuel injectors, lambda sensors, anything else you like, and it should work, to do otherwise is to make a PC motherboard that will not even boot, unless PCI slot 1 is populated with a specific sound card, PCI slot 2 is populated with a specific video capture card, PCI slot 2 is populated with a specific RAID card, and so on.

And yet, look at what we have.

You *really* think routers and the internet are any fucking different.

Let’s take BT, British Telecom, if you are a xDSL customer in the UK, you have two choices, buy from BT, or buy from someone who is reselling a BT product.

I have talked before about carrier detect etc

https://wimminz.wordpress.com/2014/05/28/is-my-ass-supposed-to-hurt-this-much/

Here is something you probably don’t know, and bear in mind, all DSL in the UK is basically a BT product, either bought direct, or from a reseller.

xDSL modems use a CHAP user-name and password combination to log you on to the network….

bt_test_user@startup_domain is a test BT CHAP user-name, no password needed, doesn’t give you internet access, just proves that there is no problem with either your DSL line or your physical router. This isn’t a secret bit of info, it’s public domain, but not even BT include it as a default “test” feature in their own broadband routers, which they order, custom built, by the tens of thousands.

So everyone who has a problem, cannot just press the test button, and either include or eliminate the DSL circuit and the physical router hardware from the problem, instead you get put on hold to Mumbai, and maybe a week later someone will mail you a new router, which may make the problem go away for a while.

Only those who are working at the coal face of technology even see this, the ever increasing hight of that stall speed first step, not just in one area but across the board.

It is not ***just*** the case that this makes whole systems more fragile and harder to fix when they do go wrong.

It is the case that when you do this across the board, sooner or later you add the straw that breaks the camel’s back, you do not *need* any failure events to appear, the system *itself* is no longer able to function.

And CTRL-Z undo that last one thing you did, no, that won’t bring the system back up, because *that* point in the overall system’s inherent stability and ability to recover is so far back in the rear view mirror it is now invisible….

I dunno where that point was, but for sure the 1980’s car analogy that we started with is far enough back that I can say with absolute certainty, at this point, the system could recover itself without any insurmountable difficulty or mega scale disruption.

Which is like saying in the 1980’s, Michael Jackson was alive, only a matter of time until he releases another record.