Wimminz – celebrating skank ho's everywhere

Old tee shirt of mine…

It’s a thing, had two weeks off, haven’t swung a leg over the bike yet, spent the first 10 days too busy with other shit, now it’s wet and cold and miserable, and no bro, it don’t attract me that much.

I get people telling me they would ride in any weather, don’t matter if its wet, don’t matter if its cold, don’t matter if it’s raining jihadis.

Yeah, I done all that shit, for much of my life my motorcycle was my only vehicle, and for over a year I did long distance dispatch riding for a living here in the UK, clocking up on average between 1,500 and 2,000 miles a week, and dispatch riding is going places you’d never go and getting there by a certain time, any and all weathers.

One of my abiding memories is passing the “How” building on the M6, still 3 hours from home, at 2 am, and the clock and temperature sign on the sign of the building flicked between 02:02 and -2.2 degrees C, and I had a 9 am start the next day for a run to Nottingham.

In short, probably 99.9% of my motorcycling miles were necessity rather than leisure, and it permanently fucked me for any idea that riding a motorcycle is *always* a pleasurable experience.

Invariably those who claim it is, never had to be 3 hours from home at 2 am in the below freezing (before adding 80 mph of wind chill) with an estimated 4 hour break before getting back on the bike and doing the same thing all over again the next day… 80 to 100 thousand miles a year, to earn a living… it takes the shine off.

I *can* get out there now and ride, I’ve done it for a living, so it’s not some shit about can I do it, can I still do it, no, I know I can do it, and I know it will be cold and wet and uncomfortable (even with proper gear and one piece waterproofs the road is still wet and you still get wind chill and lack of circulation and a rainy visor) and I just don’t have the URGE, not when the alternative is to stay inside in the warm and dry and do other shit (like play Fallout 4) and put it off until there are clear skies and dry roads.

Put it off until it is 100% pleasurable.

Hell, with the end of the job next year the company wagon is going back and I’ll be back to the bike as my only vehicle, excepting my bitch has a car that I can use, but she needs to drive too, and so it isn’t for my exclusive use.

And so it is with many other things, like being in a relationshit, or working for assholes, people will tell you they will jump at that shit, well, off you go buddy, more power to ya.

But lose the shaming language shit, I paid my dues, and then some, I got zero fucks to give what you think if I drive a car to the motorcycle shop to buy an oil filter for my bike.

I got zero fucking interest in riding the bike there so I and it can be seen, and so I can hang out and shit…. paid my dues and then some years ago.

There was a job vacancy going down Plymouth HD for a parts/stores “person” a while ago, you’d think they would beat a path to my door, what with my engineering experience, riding experience and HD experience over the years, so I email the guy and ask the two crucial questions.

What are the hours and what does it pay.

He emails me back and says “too many and not enough”

I didn’t even bother to reply, being able to say I work in a harley dealership and a buck will buy me a coffee, as in, prestige it has precisely zero for me bud…

Fucking cisco field engineer, same shit, go to multimillion pound companies and try to work out why they are having problems with their locked down XP desktop machines getting through the old cisco box to VPN to HQ, like I give a fuck, end of life XP / obsolete network stack / drivers / you name it.

Get cunts telling me they would kill to get my job, they would do it for less money than me, it would be so much fun and so interesting, and that there is part of the problem, management knows there is a queue of cunts out there willing / desperate enough to work for free.

Fucking 23k company car and a frankly fucking incredible 12k UK£ starting salary for an “apprentice”, who may be late 20’s / early 30’s. and they still get cunts applying, and it ain’t for the 12k, it’s for the imagined “kudos” of calling themselves a cisco filed engineer, and the idea that once they are qualified and experienced they can write their own ticket and earn 40k.

Try to tell the cunts, only assholes earning 40k doing this shit were TUPE’d in (not me) because the company *had* to fucking take them on as part of the acquisition deal, and they get all teh shit jobs, nobody gonna cry if they quit and take their 40k off the payroll bill.

Field engineering is going / gone the way of horse buggy whip makers and mobile (wooden) wheelwrights (one of my grandfathers was one) and frankly it reminds me a fucking lot of marine engineering in the private sector in the mid eighties, you could say that 85% of those that were in it were either virgins on their way in and up or has beens on their way down and out, with a small core who took it seriously and worked to standards and charged accordingly…. 100% of these were “day” workers on daily pay, wetback shit.

Talk to some guy who had a girlfriend or two when he was in his teens and apart from that just got out of a 15 year marriage and he’s finding all the middle aged wimminz so fucking hawt and sexy… bro, it only looks that way cos you ain’t ridden enough, and he will look at me and think I am past it or running low on testosterone or some shit or vaigra or what the fuck, how could I not be interested in fucking all that warm and wet meat.

It’s NEW TO YOU bro, its not NEW, there is a difference, and nowadays even NEW has a fleeting allure.

The new 2016 Triumph Nightstorm looks like it might be fun to swing a leg over and pop a leisurely 50 miles on it, but really, that’s it, and you’d have to bring it to my door ready to go, and a nice dry day, and I have no intention of buying it.

I already got an all black ’02 night train with stage IV 103″ mods, all go faster and louder, nothing cosmetic, you think I’m gonna get on that to ride to your dealership, to ride that new bike, then get back on mine and ride home?? Fuck you, I’ll ride on past, if I feel like riding that day.

This is “marketing” vs reality.

And marketing is just another word for anything and everything that is ***NOT*** reality, like hopes and dreams and aspirations and self image and all that jazz, and by definition, if it is NOT reality, then it is an illusion.

God knows, I spent enough of my life already in the pursuit of illusions, everything from the illusions of a prestigious trade and career to illusions of being a happy husband and father, most recently to illusions that this company and I had some sort of future together that did not totally revolve around shades of modern sexual relationshits where much is promised and in the early days it is all kinky free sex, and then the rot sets in and the real agenda comes out, you are there to be exploited to the maximum amount possible with the minimum compensation and consideration possible.

Where “old” is just code for “been there, done that, got the fucking tee shirt, scars, and life membership” I am just too fucking old to go out in the cold and wet to ride, and I am just too old to put up with this shit from an employer.

I’m gonna go out into my workshop with coffee and fag in hand and the heater on and run some stuff through the laser and earn me some fucking money, and run some other stuff through the laser as part of a demo, to make something you literally cannot get / buy or commission anywhere in the world, yet, for a potential punter that may drop a whole month’s company name redacted apprentices’ wages on me for a day’s work, if the demo turns out half as cool as I think it will.

I will *enjoy* that, and there is nothing finer nor more important in the world, certainly not living by other people’s expectations of what you could or should be doing.

Even if the guy doesn’t bite, I’ll have fun doing it, and I think it will be cool, and it interests me, and I’m gonna do it cos I can, and I can because I’m too old for all that corporate shit.