Wimminz – celebrating skank ho's everywhere

People who can be easily persuaded en masse that they need a new car, can be easily persuaded that paedophilia is good / bad, that Trump is good / bad, that global warming is good / bad.

I have recently been in contact with the proverbial un-named source from the daily fail, who freely admits that over the years several of my pieces have formed the “seed” for a story they ran, yeah, call me scoop, well, maybe not, because we had quite the conversation about his job.

He likens his workplace to the national enquirer, run any story you like, as long as it grabs attention and sounds plausible, so while you can’t actually write that Elvis works in a chip shop up the road and sodomises chinese kiddie sex dolls, you can write about a guy who “claims” that Elvis etc etc etc, with the bulk of the piece going on the Elvis angle, and only a brief mention of the guy making the claim, which is just as well, as the guy may be fictitious.

He will look at you as if you have grown two heads is you suggest that there is an agenda, well, duh, of course there is a fucking agenda, even in the ancient good old days of investigative journalism there was an agenda, he will say, because human bias determines who you will investigate in the first fucking place.

He has a valid point.

I don’t think I have ever written a single word about baby strollers.

But at the base of it all is the knowledge that people can be easily persuaded, it’s just marketing after all, and confusion is good for marketing… nobody needed to read a review in 1954 to determine whether or not the Sears 16 oz claw hammer was any good or not… and so whether to buy it or not.

In fact, facts are the enemy of this, which, he explains, is why some of my stuff formed a “seed”, he laughs incoherently at the idea any of it could be actually *used*, can you imagine an article where we did a calculation on volume of free water in the oceans, calorific value of sea water, energy required to raise sea water by 0.1 degree, and limits of accuracy of the recording thermometers? More incoherent laughter.

Any marine engineer will tell you a cubic foot of seawater weighs 64 pounds, displacement baby, it’s not scientific accurate but it’s fag packet accurate and good enough for 99% of calculations, and once you learn it *properly* by application you can never unlearn it, or see anything about seawater and not have it floating around in the back of your head… that’s the death of marketing baby.

Here is a concrete example, and it follows on from the last two tesla crap things.

I’m at heart a marine / hydraulic / mechanical engineer, and I can’t forget any of that when it comes to buying a vehicle, so yesterday I’m talking to a young kid who is asking me about graphics cards, I tell him straight, #1 consideration is your budget, if you have £100 to spend it doesn’t matter a fuck how cool a Radeon vega with 4096 streams is, you can’t afford any RX580, you can’t afford any RX570, you can afford a mid range RX 560 or a mid to high range RX550, and that’s your choices, and being practical about it you probably won’t be able to tell the difference between the two, so concentrate on slots and ports for compatibility with your other hardware and then whittle it down, 4 gig 512 stream 550 or 2 gig 1024 stream 560…. and no, don’t ask me to choose for you, because you will blame me the first time to compare dick sizes to some other dweeb.

So when it comes to cars I bought an old volvo diesel last time I wanted a car, renault engine, mitsubishi body, 600 quid, everything works, sure, it’s 15 years old, like I give a fuck, the “everything works” is the only thing I give a fuck about.

I don’t cheap out, last mot amongst other things it got 4 brand new boots, and not the cheapest imported chinese ones I could find either, but not super performance top of the line crap either, just 4 bloody good tyres.

Of course at £600 there is no leasing or hire purchase or anything, you own it outright, which is where I start to part company from the majority, who must have a new (3 years old or less) car, to my mind, you haven’t bought a new car unless you paid cash for it, so at a stroke 99.9999999% of everyone who buys a new car isn’t buying a new car, because it’s NOT THEIR FUCKING CAR, I actually only personally know one person who regularly buys a new car every three years for cash, and that’s technically a case of the company he owns can either pay tax or buy a car, so he buys a car, depreciates it at 50% a year (compound 100% value goes to 50% value, goes to 25% value, goes to 12.5% value) and sells it on every three years, but then his company makes plenty of money.

everyone else is fucking delusional, like the kid with the graphics card, the differences are in their head, and that’s all that is real to them, the real differences are unreal to them.

Having put all this aside, I’m going to close on the Tesla.

Tesla don’t give a fuck about range either, or the environment, or anything else, because to an engineer it is BLATANTLY obvious that the tesla ain’t made right.

Which doesn’t matter, because everything is MARKETING, Tesla sell an IMAGE of an EV, they do not actually make or sell a great EV.

Much vaunted Tesla batteries aside, dig down and there is nothing there, it’s just bog standard 18650 li-on cells like you find in everything, but grown a bit bigger for some minor technical advantages, which is ok as 18650 was made for portable devices, not cars, they do not use big custom prismatic cells which they should, more like the big 12 volt lantern batteries you used to get.

Tesla electric motors, more “meh” there is nothing there you can’t find in any high end CNC kit, what they could and should have done would be to use some of that money to develop hub motors with all electric full regenerative braking , yes unsprung weight can be an issue if you care about performance, but if you are building an EV car you shouldn’t, 0-60 in 12 seconds is more than enough, to be honest 0-60 in 20 seconds is fine, you’ll still burn off any trucks and buses out there, you know, vehicles built for ECONOMY…

So basically it’s a bodyshell and interior and a fancy pants autopilot.

If the autopilot alone was good enough then that would be all Tesla ever needed to make, just licence it to Bosch to be fitted in cars worldwide, sit back and count the profits.

Same could be said for hub motors.

Same could be said for decent batteries, as in, banks of smaller ones, none of this shit about changing out a whole battery like it’s a wall clock.

Tellingly, none of these things are things tesla is doing, what tesla is doing is the opposite, making a “cool” EV that can beat a 500 bhp mustang in the 1/4 mile, and an autopilot that works well enough to fap before you crash and die.

Any IT “road warrior” will tell you, for years and years and years one of the tools of the trade was the IBM then the Lenovo stinkpad T series, it’s *the* business laptop for those who need to work and who need a solid reliable and fast mobile computing solution, which is why three sides of the case was always various ports.

Never ONCE saw a tech turn up with a macbook or acer or surface of anything else.

Can’t recall the last time I saw an advert for a stinkpad either, they’re a bit like the panasonic toughbooks, if you need one you already know all about them.

If you *need* an electric vehicle you know all about Smiths, who have been making EV’s continuously for 90 years (take that tesla) to englishmen who don’t know the name, you do know electric milk floats, and smiths were one of the biggest players.

Well, you would have done, because they moved to the USA in 2011, and have since ceased trading completely, quelle surpise.

And they won’t be coming back, because here is where the smart money is..

http://freightinthecity.com/2017/07/daimler-starts-european-small-series-production-7-5-tonne-electric-truck/

London congestion charge? No problem.

Commercial vehicle ideally suited to cities for similar money to a top of the range Tesla? No problem, except for tesla, who had to drop the prices of the X and S models before joe public became aware of the emergence of this stuff.

Commercial EV charging? No problem, you already have a fucking yard / compound, 3 phase electric on site, and everything else.

So that’s Mitsubishi (remember I mentioned they did the body on my volvo) and Kawasaki going into light trucks in EV, and doing it right.

six off 420 VDC 14 kwh battery packs per truck, 100 km range, 4,500 kg payload, no range anxiety, no refuel anxiety, no congestion charges, no mechanical issues, no waste oil or filters to dispose of, and the loudest thing will be the “attention, this vehicle is reversing” shit.

Merc make one now, guess what, it basically uses hub motors, and Merc / Daimler / Fuso / Mitsu / Kawa are all sharing spit at this level.

Youtube