I’m in my fifties, inside, I often still feel about 14.
I’ve seen a lot, done a lot, experienced a lot, learned a lot, but some things, I don’t know if it is genetic / biological ageing, or experience ageing, or had-enough-of-this-shit-already ageing, but some of the things I find myself thinking and feeling now, well, I dunno I would have predicted that about myself in years past.
The kids I ain’t seen hide nor hair of for 8 years and change, well, put it this way, I won’t lose much sleep if I don’t ever see them again, essential bonds have had too long to wither on the vine, and no new bonds were formed.
Back when I was 20 something I met this chick, I already knew her dad, we’ll call him Chaz for the sake of this post.. which is how I met her, her mum and dad split when she was like two or something, come 18 she decides to go find him, and eventually does, and moves in and spends time, and 3 months later they spend a couple of weeks fucking.
Now at the time it made me feel sick, I mean physically sick, and some of the last words I ever spoke to the asshole were along the lines of how the fuck could you, your own fucking daughter man.
I still remember his reply, it boiled down to he didn’t know her, he didn’t know anything about her, last time he saw her she could barely walk, next thing he knows an adult woman walks into his life, she ain’t his daughter, not really.
Back then I didn’t get what he was saying, he was a sick fuck and that’s that (worth mentioning that it takes two to tango and she was as willing as him) so I don’t give a fuck what excuses you give me, fuck off and die.
Here and now, well, I’m glad I only have sons and aren’t a fag, because I’ll never have to worry about finding *that one* out about myself, because I suspect I now know exactly what he was saying about next thing you know an adult walks into your life, and it ain’t your kid.
It’s just an adult you don’t know, as for blood, well, that gives the kid a chance, and by that I mean a chance to make the effort to get to know his old man, and earn his respect and trust, because the old man ain’t gonna do the heavy lifting.
Ain’t the kid’s fault, ain’t the old man’s either, life sucks some times.
Had wimminz tell me what a wonderful father I would make, even had wimminz wanting to give me a child “so I could be that wonderful father” and I reckon one or two of them even meant it.
Could *not* explain to a single one of them, so they understood, that that ship has sailed… maybe it’s because they were younger than me and the biology hadn’t kicked in, but they all started off thinking I was rejecting it as a consolation prize to replace the original that was taken from me, when the reality, well, people change, and I’M NOT THAT FUCKER ANY MORE, and I don’t particularly wanna try and go back and be him, because too many years have passed, and the remaining number of years is finite, and probably significantly less than have already passed.
I have no urge to be in my early seventies and still have kids around the house, and I’m saying that in my mid fifties, by the time I’m early seventies I’d probably be so pissed at my former self I’d invent a time masheen just to go back and kick my own ass. Idiocracy it is.
DNA has been satisfied, I have procreated. End of story.
When I was in my twenties or even thirties I’d swing my leg over a Harley and ride out to places and get off, to hang out, see people, and be seen.
Now in my fifties I’ll swing my leg over a Harley and ride out and not stop anywhere unless it’s for gas or a smoke or some shit, people and places I avoid, I’ve turned into one of those antisocial grumpy old cunts on pans and knucks that I used to run into when I was a lad, whooda fucking thunk it…
A commenter on a previous post said that I seem to write about the elites milking everything, I responded that I thought I was writing about society and the human condition and the decline of industry, and I guess that is true, but there is another truth, or at least another question, that needs looking at.
Basically I’ve gotten a lot more bored with people in general, the populace, than I was when I had thirty years less experience of them, young boys want to be heroes, older men want to be invisible.
But the question is this, is this because the ageing process does this shit to you, or is this because this stage of human society and culture is coming to an end (teh steam age, teh electric age, teh digital age etc) and I’m bored with the old system, or is it a mixture of both?
Positing questions about men fucking their long lost daughters, well, for most of human history the daughter would not have been long lost, so the only daddy / daughter fucking would have been two people who HAD known each other all their lives, so a time machine would be interesting to compile statistics on how the broken home and ending of the man as head of the house and home has skewed things.
Maybe “paedophilia” (in the press that means fucking anyone under 21) really is a lot more prevalent in the last decade, and maybe the rise of the broken homes and *vastly* increased numbers of Chaz’s in society is at the root of it.
Why shouldn’t I fuck it, I don’t know it, it’s a stranger to me…
And as for infantilism….
“Friend” of mine, I use the term loosely, has some pre teen daughters, and it’s an interesting mix, personality wise, physically they are approaching the age where the body changes to womanhood, first period, can get pregnant, all that good stuff, but mentally… well it’s a mix of barbie slut airhead princess and Ruprecht the monkey boy’s retarded sister.
In my mother’s day girls of their age would be taking on a significant portion of the household chores, raising the younger siblings, bathing feeding teaching, and fetchin’ dad’s pipe and slippers and so on when he came in from a hard day’s work….
This lot can make cup cakes and beans on toast, but can’t wash or dress themselves properly, and come home from school with heads crawling with nits every week.
It would be like meeting my kids next week, there simply is not enough time left before they reach adulthood for them to learn and absorb all the things they need to learn and experience, it is already too late, and it is already too late for these girls, maybe a year away from the first period, the budding breasts, the swelling hips, the hormones pumping.
Thing is, he asked me if I would look out for his girls if anything happened to him and his missus, and I’m turning into Chaz, because the first thoughts that *actually* went through my head were “if it lands on my plate in five years time at least I can fuck them and get something in return…” so what I actually said was “you need a plan B buddy, I’m barely keeping my own shit together, you need to pick someone you can rely on once you’re gone”
Only person who can rely on me is me.
Had a conversation with someone near and dear last week, told them, shit is coming down the line, the future and the past will not be the same, and what you got to get your head and heart and soul around is one simple fact.
When change comes, what worked yesterday will get you killed tomorrow, and vice versa, you better be hip to that, you better be ready for that, you better revise any ideas you have that you *know* me, the one trick ponies like the aforementioned friends daughters…. be like flying ants, one day the air is thick with them, next day they gone…
It’s a function of age, not the world and not no body or no thing in the world gives a fuck about you or your welfare or happiness… certainly not me.
I’m too old for that shit.
By the end of the 4th year, everyone in the East Bay who commuted into Silicon Valley (Dumbarton/San Mateo-Hayward bridges) had decided that rather than pay $25/wk in tolls, they would drive south on 880, until it hit 101. Then drive north on 101 until you got to your place of employ. The drive across the bridges from west to east was free. That $25 you saved went into your gas tank or elsewhere.
Now’s here’s the real kicker. After realizing that the pattern of traffic had shifted so dramatically (and a subsequent loss of income), rather than lower the bridge toll, they re-classified the car-poolers as “high occupancy vehicles” and started charging them $2.50 for traveling across those bridges from east to west.
Standard Disclaimer: And people wonder why the exodus from California continues unabated. (Except for the terminally stupid who continue to work there and pay the exorbitant taxes heaped upon them by the State of California in addition to the Federal government.)”
Everyone + dog can think of a similar example, the thing is people / institutions / corporations / governments have these things called “revenue models” whether they realise it or not, also known as a playbook, MO, etc.
We need to make this change in the world, and here is how we can make some money doing that thing.
Changes that cost money don’t get on the agenda of course, so that’s a wrap.
The idea becomes a “good thing” and anyone who resists it, like the motorists who were effectively “re-routing around the damage” become part of the problem, they are resisting a good thing, therefore they must be a bad thing.
So go on you tube, or out on the streets in a western society, and listen to blacks talk.
Where does that come from?
I mean apart from “not wanting to talk like a whitey” I’m being fucking serious, where the fuck does that come from?
It doesn’t come from any historical or cultural background, it doesn’t come from a regional background, it doesn’t come from a religious background.
No, it comes from an ideological background, the idea that it’s a way to separate yo’sel from whitey, “Black Lives Matter” just like “Women’s Rights” because both these ideas are vastly superior to All Lives Matter and Human Rights, because neither of these ideas give room for the new ideology, such as reducing automobile use, to take root.
http://www.britishpathe.com/video/tamar-bridge/query/Modern
The clip says “the ferry is no more” well the ferry is still going strong, thank ewe very much, it costs the same £1.50 for a car as the Tamar road bridge, which has tolls on the way out of Cornwall, but no tolls to cross in to Cornwall, like the Severn bridges, the tolls are one way only, going into Wales… but they are £6.50 for a car.
And like the internet routing around damage so do motorists, the ferry from Devon to Cornwall is relatively empty except for local traffic, as the bridge crossing a mile away is free in that direction… if I am driving down to Cornwall I’ll do my best to avoid that crossing, even if it means a detour out of my way.
“Routing around damage” is a thing the internet is designed to do, and it does, with varying degrees of success, but it is also a thing that people do, though the algorithms in use are a lot more muddy and hard to model.
If you have been watching the Theranos scandal in the US you will see more of this kind of thinking, the one option that is not on the table is the option of doing whatever it takes to make the thing in question do exactly what it says on the tin.
Which brings us back yet again to the Dallas shootings, and other false flag (eg manufactured) events, human nature is to route around damage or indeed potential damage, all these false flag events have a couple of things in common, one of the notable and knowable in advance ones is that there will just happen to be some sort of “exercise” going on in close proximity at the same time.
Routing around damage and possible damage means nobody would plan to run a scheme on the same day that there was an “exercise” going on… nobody… forget hollywierd shit about using the exercise to mask the protagonists actions, none of these guys turn up in SWAT gear, they all turn up like extras from a B movie, they all die in a hail of bullets, it’s always a secret closed casket service (because of all the bullets y’all) and we never see the coroner / post mortem report, on unredacted enough versions to confirm that yes indeed this was M’waanaa Kllwhity and here look his passport was found next to the body so there is no doubt at all.
Course there is a lot of self delusional bullshit in the world, take these scenarios;
Course we can all *say* all sorts of shit about what we would or would not do, but the fact is, until and unless you find yourself in that actual situation, you never do know, not for real, not for sure… because we tend to route around damage, and potential damage.
Wars were “good” in this way and in this way only, you get to find out how you would behave in many situations, and if you get people who have been in those situations drunk, in vino veritas, most of them will admit they did not have any autonomous moral agency or choices of their own, they just went along with what everyone else in the peer group is doing.
If wogs are talking some strange made up dialect in preference to sounding like whitey, then they are doing it because other wogs are doing it, not because there was any conscious choice or thought or intellect, it’s yet another one of those “good things” and everyone agin it is obviously agin good things and for bad things, bad whitey.
Malcolm X himself managed to talk for 25 minutes in this clip (about a muslin nigga called Elijah Muhammed) without once sounding like a nigga, and whether you or I agree with what Malcolm X said and stood for, the idea that because he talked like whitey he was somehow betraying his black roots, an idea espoused by people who struggle to say much more intelligible than “dat’s raycis” and “black lives matter… motherfucker” “uncle tom”ers is beyond parody.
What, of course, is not beyond parody is the suggestion that because of all the affirmative action and racial equality and racial hatred and other legislation, lets not forget the LGBT BLT TGIF FTW WTF pressure groups, we now have a society INCAPABLE of producing a black man of the capacity or potential of Malcolm X.
So a bit like the Silicon Valley bridges, people who relentlessly pushed a “good idea” no matter what, created a far worse situation than if they had stayed at home and eaten a bullet.
We *used* to have a segregated school system, and I don’t mean anything as simple as whites and blacks, I mean one school for people destined to be manual labourers, another school for those destined to be blue collar workers, and so on.
Some people, mistakenly, think we still have it in the UK, all the Eton toffs who just happen to end up in politics or law or media, but (as someone from the fringes of that process) the reality is Eton is the home of the well heeled idiot, putting Eton on your CV closes a lot more doors than it opens, or did you think the likes of Cameroon were educated or intelligent? Privileged / Delusional / Incompetent yes, educated and intelligent, a resounding no.
But in the social engineering that was the breakup of the educayshun system, because it was a “good idea” that talent was met with opportunity (neatly ignoring the fact that it *always* was, that’s what scholarships were all about, fully 10% of places would be scholarship places granted to students whose parents couldn’t hope to afford the uniform, much less the fees, scholarship places paid for by the surcharge on the 90% whose parents could pay, like mine) the system as it was had to be broken up, and the result was that it no longer mattered if you were black or white or yellow of a little green man, you had fuck all chance of actually getting any kind of worthwhile education.
While it is true to say that the black community is now incapable of producing another Malcolm X (or many others) it is equally true of the white community, no white schools are producing future William Jennings Bryans (41st US secretary of state) (I wonder how many american school kids have even heard of him, much less learn about him?)
Not saying Bryan was right on everything, (Darwinism for example) any more than Malcolm X was right on everything, but they both had *character* strength of, for the use of, etc.
And this is essentially what promoters of “good ideas” are, hard deep prolonged and painful anal pounding for anyone and anything that might actually attempt to address and fix the problems we face.
So lone Dallas kill whitey nigga with all this military experience gets himself a long gun (I have talked before here about how *I* would set about something, were “x” indeed my true goal) and a set of body armour and takes down a few cops… when a truck bomb outside Dallas PD HQ would have been at least 100x as effective at the stated goal…. and well within his experience and ability.
People route around damage or potential damage, including those running false flag operations.
It’s in the playbook, under “good ideas 1.01”