Wimminz – celebrating skank ho's everywhere

July 15, 2014

The amazing cosmic awareness of AfOR

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , — wimminz @ 10:43 am

There are days when I really do wish I could turn my life into a 24/7 unedited live video stream, not because I seek my 15 nanoseconds of fame, or because my life is just so fucking awesome and interesting, quite the opposite….

More of a fly on the wall documentary on the fall of Rome, as seen by Biggus Dickus, hypocaust and sewer worker.

But business and commercial and practical realities mean it cannot be so.

So, hyperbolically, because we all like a bit of hyperbole… fnaaar fnaaar

The day starts with a router swap, the old one is dead, except, when I get there, it isn’t, it’s not working because someone at the ISP made a Radius server edit, and to fix it all they need to do is put the correct CHAP user name into Radius.

You’d think they have this data in their customer files, but no, so the fall back position would be to log in to the router, oops… and get it that way, but even when I tell them the CHAP user name and they sort their Radius server, they still can’t log in to the router, probably because the vty sections of the config is all screwed up, yes, they managed at some point 12 months ago (the customer tells me) to lock themselves out of their own router.

When pondering how this can happen and being passed between various dweebs at the ISP, none of whom appears to know more than one single command or task each themselves, so it takes teamwork Sam, I see how it happened, the guys at the ISP are using the Cisco telnet session to chat to each other, what the fuck could possibly go wrong….

You start to worry when one of those dweebs asks me if I know what the command line “length 0” means in the vty bit of the config….. (term len 0) I just tell him “Don’t ask me bud, I’m just the bloody field tech….” while making cock-sucking motions with my hand and mouth.

So, two and a half hours later we have eventually replaced one perfectly good router with another perfectly good router, and given the ISP the chap username for their Radius server, and sorted remote access to the box for the ISP, this qualifies as a successful job…. rock on Tommy.

Next I’m informed there is an urgent job an hour away down south from me, no sweat, but, the part, well it’s five hours away from me up north, so some dweeb has been given a part that costs maybe £230 new and sent on a 5 hour drive to me.

Then, they work out that the site is due to close in about 6 hours…

There ensue 4 separate telephone conversations with the brain dead fucks in head office, explaining to them that a package a 5 hour drive away from me isn’t going to get to site any quicker if I drive one or two hours north to meet the dweeb driving south half way, on the contrary, due to the vagaries of motorway systems, junctions, and no crossovers between north and south bound service areas, all we are going to do is fuck things up and delay matters.

Besides, I tell them, three fucking times, me and the dweeb in question have already spoken on the phone, it’s sorted, he has the GPS co-ordinates of the ideal place to meet me and do the handover.

Two more phone calls from the brain dead fucks in head office.

No response to the emails from me to them asking for more info, as it stands I have a site address, a closing time, and I’m getting a box with a new router…. you know, things like site data, contact numbers (particularly out of hours) and configuration data might be a fucking idea….

….crickets….

So, I eventually get to site, literally ten minutes before it is about to shut, thinking fuck it, I’m here, the dreaded 4 hours SLA is only just out, with any luck I can convince the store to accept the package before we all fuck off home for the night, 4 hours overtime for me, cool.

The best laid plans… the brain dead fucks of earlier also happened to tell me we were under the hammer, 4 hour SLA with penalties, the store manager, despite it being 10 minutes before closing, can’t decide whether to shake my hand or just drop and give me a blow job, you see, the site has been hard down for three full days now….

Ah.

So I spend the next two and a half hours on site trying to get all the data that I need to configure the new router, I eventually get half of it, in a “just send the cunt a 9 meg attachment with all the documents from the proj, including all 350 client sites, and let him work it out” which would be good, or good enough, if the bundle sent to me was complete, and updated, and contained all the info I needed.

Every 20/25 minutes I’m calling out of hours support, who keep telling me they have called 3rd line support, and they are gonna get back to me asap, two hours in, for reasons that shall become apparent later, I call them back and tell them I’m bailing in 15 minutes, whether the required info is supplied to me or not (as I type this, still no contact…lol) at which time out of hours support admit that when they said they had spoken several times to 3rd line support who were gonna get back to me, what they actually meant was they had left voice-mail messages for 3rd line, who weren’t answering the phone.

Well, that was a waste of time, but hey, just think of the overtime.

My overtime clock is now sat at 5 hours and we all decide to call it quits.

I drive 10 minutes to the frankly ham-beast skank slut I texted while waiting for 3rd line to call me back, yeah, she’ll lock the kids in their rooms if I wanna pop over for a quick coffee and empty my balls into her.

I’m in and out that door in 30 minutes including the leisurely smoke and coffee, her kids are hearing strange men’s voices but she tells em none of their fucking business, go to bed, we go upstairs, we strip, she kneels on the bed, I fuck the slob doggy style, she sucks my cock clean, I dress and leave….

Just time to catch the Thai takeaway before it closes, that’s another 15 bucks on the expense account for this job, chow down on some nice grub, slug an alcohol free beer ( I know, but I’m driving, and don’t want a coke etc) and head home.

I arrive home just after midnight having accrued 7 hours overtime on this job, at time and a half, and having achieved sweet fuck all for the customer…. but hey, I got a free thai dinner and got paid to empty my balls… and Nero could only fiddle while Rome burned.

Still heard -crickets- from my own HQ or the ISP 3rd line support about the job itself.

The site itself is of course still clearly hard down, day four of same…

No doubt someone is going to have to go back to site and sort it.

The site itself, one of those mall retail park places, and everything hangs off a single fucking DSL line, no backup, and the computers struggle to run XP, hell, they would have struggled when they and XP were all new.

The staff, think people of wal-mart, you won’t be far wrong.

Meanwhile everything on site is 5 days out of sync, by everything I mean stock control, inventory, sales, cash, staff hours and rotas, POS specials and updates, the works, and it’s a prace bets now on just how many days out of sync such a creaky and weedy system can function before it goes tits up for good.

Waiting for the crash?

We’re living through it.

July 13, 2014

I’m not haaapppyyy

Filed under: Wimminz — wimminz @ 12:08 pm

About 20/25 minutes ago, I put a freshly hand rolled cigarette in my mouth, it sat there for a minute before I got around to lighting it, as I was doing the morning coffee and check teh intertubez ritual.

So I lit it, took a drag, and grabbed it between 1st and 2nd fingers of my right hand to remove it, in the interim, the paper had become stuck to my lip, a known thing with roll-ups, so when I completed the hand motion to remove the smoke from my mouth, what happened was my fingers slid down the smoke, popping the burning end off, which proceeded to fall onto my chest / stomach and around the side to the crease between my ass and the cushion, burning hair all the way.

Unlike basically everything I read on teh intertubez, or anywhere else, I know that this event was real, I saw it, I felt it, I smelt it, all with mine own senses…. the problem is, I do not believe anything I read, or hear, or see, or am told, via any form of medium that does not involve my own personal direct experience.

This is a learned behaviour, the moral of the buy who cried wolf, the one time he finally told the truth, nobody believed him.

I had an interesting conversation a summer or two ago with a yank, this was one of these who was absolutely convinced that the moon landings were faked, and a drunken herdsman leaned over and said Obama was faked too, all special effects ya know, my son’s got an xbox, amazing the shit you can see on that, and the yank went nuts, I voted for hope and change and all that shit, but it occurred to me then, there was just as much empirical evidence, as far as that individual yank was concerned, that the moon landings were real, as there was that Obumma was real, after all, this guy had seen neither, hadn’t even seen the white house, or washington, how did he know they existed?

I’m now down to a dozen links that I will check daily, and mainly, they bore me shitless too, they are mainly canaries in a coal mine, like ZH, just check they are still alive, yup, OK, it hasn’t hit yet.

Despite having a 60 mbit connection, I’m almost never downloading any new audio-visual programming, I think two films so far this year, godzilla and transformers, and both were unalloyed shit…. I’d almost rather restart Skyrim from scratch, but having already played it through, ennui sets in there too, but that is partly down to me, Skyrim is pointless without ranged weapons, and there are only two, bows and crossbows, and at level 82 either one in sneak mode can kill just about anything with one shot, why would I bother with hand to hand shit.

You see, hot on the heels of not believing anything I see and read any more, comes that far more tragic thing, I don’t give a flying shit about anything, just myself.

Women are getting like it too, compare their profile or public persona to a mega budget hollywood film trailer, no matter how great and interesting and new and wonderful they attempt to make the trailer seem, I am all meh, seen it all before, and frankly having seen the trailer I have already seen all the best bits.

Nowhere do I see any evidence whatsoever of the only remaining things that would interest me, unlimited 24/7 obedience and loyalty, even if the body is really hot, I know that jpeg is the best of it, and from there on in as every detail is added it will just suck even more.

I don’t think my sex drive is fading due to some sort of ageing process, where it is no longer as vital and urgent as it was, though admittedly there has clearly been some fade since my teenage days when I could not get through the day without having several wanks, I think it is more the boredom of working in a sweet shop where you can eat all you want for free, after a time none of it interests me.

Oh look, another whole new episode of walking dead, or friends, or baywatch, or top gear… meh…

It’s like the house full of people going through their daily crises, omg, sheena has unfreinded me on fuckbook, omg, the new girl at work is such a bitch, omg, have you seen how much diesel costs, omg, why can’t I get a decent boyfriend, omg, 2.55 for a fucking latte!

Meanwhile on the back porch there is a dog, just lying there, dozing on and off, opens his eyes now and again to glance at the rabbit on the lawn, meh, fuck it, closes his eyes again.

That dog is me.

I don’t care, it’s hard to describe the vastness of the universe of things that I don’t care about, last week there was a story about some indian couple who handed over their 9 year old daughter as collateral for a loan.

I’m all, meh, non story if it had been a boy, meh, if the collateral is chained up all day it can’t do chores, meh, how much is one 9 year old mini skank worth anyway, meh, maybe the parents were all YES we got rid of that bitch without having to worry about a dowry, for the win…

Not because it was some brown skinned kid half a continent away either, could be next door, hell, Fritzl or the Ayatollah Over-laden could live next door planing their latest depravities, I don’t care.

Just this morning I saw a wimminz putting her kids in the kiddy seat of a small compact car, front wheel drive, with a nearly flat offside rear tyre (a remarkably unstable and dangerous configuration as soon as you pass a certain speed, or hit rain, or anything else…), and I thought about warning her, and I thought, meh, I don’t care, so instead I stopped and watched, just to see if she would notice, or check her vehicle, or anything but get off the phone… she didn’t.. meh, I don’t care.

20 years ago I’d get shit from a wimminz because I did not notice, eg care, that she had a new hairstyle…. I’m talking a particular wimminz now, not even one I was or have ever fucked either, now, she is dying of cancer, and guess what bitch, I don’t care.

But wait, in manoshpere terms, it gets worse, much worse.

What about the innocent male children of single skank ho mommies who never bothered to ensure that their father was in their lives, again, I can think of a specific example here, rather than merely talking in generalities.

That kids needs a mentor, a role model, a man who he can talk to, who can advise him, and he really does need it, he is heading for a world of hurt, what else is there for a boy raised exclusively by skank ho mommy.

I don’t care, fuck him, it’s already far too fucking late for the boy.

Hell, I’m not allowed to care for and look out for my own flesh and blood, why should I give a flying fuck about the other 1.9 billion kids out there… and I mean that most sincerely, whether it working in a sweat shot or being chained to a wall as collateral for a loan or being fucked for money, I don’t care.

I don’t care is great for states and governments embarking on totalitarian regimes, which, frankly speaking, they all are now, they are all moving that way, not towards greater freedoms and liberties.

I don’t care isn’t going to pick up a gun or an ammonia bomb and say this far and no further and fuck you all.

I don’t care isn’t going to bob off to join the rebels somewhere else and cut off our oil.

I don’t care isn’t going to be hanging bankers and lawyers from lamp-posts.

But, it ain’t all roses.

A quite I have quoted before “We didn’t start the fire, so don’t expect us all to suddenly become firemen”

See, ultimately, all these plans and maneouvers and such like, Ukraine of wherever, they are all played by people who think they have their hand on the pause button, we can always stop it before it gets *too* bad.

People who think the ultimate in evil are the hired mercs who will commit any atrocity for money, bomb the civilians, whatever, no worries man, just show me the fucking money man, and my ticket outta here when we done.

Babes in the woods.

I don’t care will just sit there and watch you bleed out screaming, will watch the damn collapse, will watch the hospital burn, will watch the innocent shoved into gas chambers, will watch the guilty swing from lamp-posts, will watch the desperate trade a 9 year old for collateral, will watch the babies sold for food, will watch it all, all things that we could intervene in and stop, or mitigate, all fires that we could fight, but we won’t.

We don’t care.

I don’t care.

Like the young man of whom I spoke up there, or the wimminz, or the others, it’s not that they can not make it worth our while to be motivated, it is that they won’t, until it is too late, until the only thing that will save them is a time machine so they can do over the bit where they had the opportunity to motivate me, but there ain’t no time masheen.. (sic)

I know they won’t, so what is the point me making any effort at all?

Conscience? So I can say at least I tried to warn them while there was still time?

No. I don’t care.

No, it’s not a wimminz I’m not haappyy…. so MAKE me happy you bastards.

It’s I don’t care.ddd1

And if I don’t care if you live or die or how miserable your life is or how much agony and pain you scream out as you go into that long night, you really think I am going to care what you think of me?

I don’t care.

You are all already dead to me, this, this is just ghosts, that rabbit out on the lawn, that’s a trick too… I’m just gonna close my other eye and lie here and relax…

 

July 12, 2014

Panopticon cataracts

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , , — wimminz @ 3:16 pm

Perceptions are a motherfucking funny thing.

I see it all the time, people from self declared first world countries not liking the look of how things are headed where they are, and looking for another country to bug out to.

So sooner or later they draw up a shortlist of third world countries, and then maybe even visit them to do some research, to work out what they are gonna do when they export their own 1st world ass to said 3rd world sanctuary / shithole / bum-fuck-nowhere.

In my own experience, you have to spend minimum 6 to 12 months in a host country, and mingling with the everyday folk every day at that, to get a feel for it, something I have done on more than one occasion.

The arrogance and hubris of the people I describe above can only become apparent to you once you have done this, until you experience it first hand, it is like someone who has regained consciousness half way through an operation, the anaesthesia ain’t working so good but the immobilisers and muscle relaxants are, describing it to you.

It’s just words, unless you have first hand experience.

First hand experience, it’s allowed me to see, time, after time, after time, after time, after time, always the same thing, the person from the 1st world arriving in the 3rd world, with the illusion that that 1st world aura is just something they can bring with them, so that they retain their 1st world aura in a 3rd world country.

What happens in reality of course is when you leave a 1st world country and move to a 3rd world country, you start to transmute to 3rd world status yourself, and the speed of the process is affected somewhat by how much gold you brought with you and still have…. somewhat…

I had a head start on this knowledge, growing up as I did in the colonial days, “Going Native” it was called then, an inexorable process that you could only counter by being brutal, and building a rigidly enforced 1st world enclave in amongst the 3rd world, of integration, there was none.

In short, what makes a person 1st world or 3rd world (or 2nd or 4th or middle earth or anything else you like) is not the person, not at all, but where they live.

When the 1st world person moves to the 3rd world, they become a 3rd world person, the sole exception being if they live in a separate 1st world community and do not integrate with the natives at all.

The more 1st world you want to make that community, the more like a prison it becomes, you have to have 1st world guys on the gates, mowing the lawns, etc, if you go native for the workforce and security, it’s less like a prison, it’s also a lot less stable.

So for example in the 1960’s communist emergency in Malaysia, you faced some choices, no white man could be a driver, because that diluted the image of the rest, on the other hand, you had no way of knowing if any of the locals, indigenous Malays or Chinese or Siamese or Korean or whatever, were communists, but you could hire a Sikh, both his religion and race assured you he wasn’t a communist, and it kept the demarcation of the white man separate from menial jobs like driving.

But, you don’t have to ship a Yank to Borneo to see this trait, you can ship an Englishman to Spain and see the exact same things at play, take em out of the country they were in and put them in another where they think they are better or different to the locals, sit back, and watch them fuck up big time.

The difference between 1st world and 3rd world isn’t that in one you can choose between three suppliers of 50 mbit internet to your home, and the other you’re happy to get a 10 amp mains supply that works 6 days a week.

The difference isn’t the people either, as we have already discussed.

The difference isn’t even how little effort it takes in the 1st world to live like a king of old, and how much effort it takes in the 1st world to claw your way up the next step of the ladder.

The difference is in the 1st world you are deluded about just how much of your lifestyle and status is down to your own efforts, and in the 3rd world you are so busy staying one step ahead of next week you don’t got any time for delusions.

This is going to be one of those random disjointed shit posts, so I’m going to leave the whole 1st/3rd world thing for a moment.

A thing I have observed about wimminz that I have been fucking regularly for some time in the past, then it tails off, then one day out of the blue they are back, and you have one or two nights of passion and kinky sex, in which they tell you that you are and always were the one, they are so glad to have found you again, then they go back home and the “reality” of their home life intrudes and…. crickets.

Of course there is always a common factor, the common factor is these wimminz are all skank ho single moms, with at least one kid who is basically 15 or older still at home, and one way or another the kid rules the roost.

It’s not that mommy doesn’t want to see you again, it is instead, as one such mommy said to me in person a few days ago, that they are trying to please everyone, they want to please themselves and you by being with you and doing kinky sex, and they want to please said kid, who either doesn’t want to be home alone or doesn’t want to be babysitter or doesn’t want you in *their* home or just plain doesn’t like you.

No matter what they do, they end up with someone feeling angry at them, and the one with the closest and most current proximity is the one they will try to make not angry with them.

Fuck, life is so goddamed complicated….why can’t anything ever go right or easy for me…..

Bed. Made. Lie.

Doesn’t go down well.

Nor does one of my other staples, OK, your womb turd has a fucking problem with me, no worries, now I have a problem with them, I’m not ever going to see, speak to or be in the same building as them again, deal with it.

It’s a 3rd world problem and I am a 1st world man, and if I get that closely involved with you and go and live with you…. I won’t be solving all your problems and dragging you lot into the 1st world, I’ll be going to live in a 3rd world country, with no demarcation, going native, next thing you know, I’m 3rd world.

It wasn’t that long ago I literally woke up one day and found myself the centre of an FRA, everything changes, you lose your work, your home, your freedoms your etc etc etc, that’s fucking 3rd world right there, compared to what I got now.

Be it ever so humble, my own place in which I do exactly what I feel like, or in which I do sweet fuck all if that is what I feel like, today, a non working day, is mostly sweet fuck all.

Sure, there is a ton of stuff I could be doing, and probably should be doing, but as I sit here typing this, not dressed yet, the washing machine is finishing the spin cycle, whack that load in the dryer, more coffee, another smoke, burn some joss… that’s probably enough effort.

You think life would be so chilled with little miss my kids don’t like y’all that much dude?… Fuck no, I’d be spending my day doing all kinds of shit for other people, and nobody would be doing shit for me… the ton of stuff I could and should be doing still wouldn’t be done, but not by choice or laziness, just because all my time was gone.

You wanna talk about first world troubles? Here’s a biggun.

See me here, living and chilling and mainly doing sweet fuck all in AfOR’s bat-cave, gives me a lot of time to chill, and to ponder, and to think.

Little miss why can’t I please everyone and get some extra cock too meanwhile is running around like the proverbial blue assed fly, they are always “busy”, and even when they think of you, it is for fleeting moments only, in between crises, little johnny has been feeding the kittens laxatives laced with LSD again, so it may well be 24 hours in between the times when she finds or makes enough time to actually sit down and send you a text or give you a ring…. at 11 pm

Meanwhile that same day, while idly scratching your balls and scoping ZH over the morning coffee, you have already given her, or rather, the concept of her, an hour’s semi continuous sub-conscious thought… come to the conclusion that, horrendous waste of human life it may be, but she will have it no other way, so the only way to deal with her is file her under as / if / when she makes herself and herself alone available for me to empty my balls into, and nothing else, well, I’ll consider it.. next topic..

In a computational arms race, how much time she spends thinking about a man in her life, and how much time you spend thinking about a wimminz in yours, the comparisons approach plaintext vs computationally intensive crypto cracking…. it will take her years to do as much thinking on the subject of you, as you have already done in one hour in one morning, thinking about her.

To AfOR, the world of her is in plaintext, to her, the world of AfOR is some sort of chaotic encrypted volume, maybe.

Hey, you want me to really fuck with your minds, here is what an average man can come up with, just by sitting down and thinking and scratching his balls, God particles and Higgs Bosons and quark strangeness and charm and string theory, only reason it looks like chaos man is because that’s what good crypto looks like, all you need is the master key, then it all becomes plaintext simple, 2 + 2 = 4.

What’s the radius of a black hole / singularity man… LRFH.

….so lets take a quick break and chuck another record on the spindle…

People can just about manage their own lives, just about, as discussed in the last few articles.

Put them or let then take charge of other people’s lives, total fuck up… size of the fuck-up proportional to the number of other people’s lives they have influence over.

Dig.

So let’s come down to personal competencies.

In 99.9% of cases, these so called “experts” are no different to you.

There is no difference between a fucking medical doctor or accountant or banker or lawyer and the guy who has memorised a bunch of sports statistics…. none.

Why do you think surgeons get called Mr and not Dr, to separate themselves from the mere doctors, who just learned shit, surgeons learned how to do shit, a trade, a skill, a physical ability.grippo

See, this pic here, depending on the trade some will call this a fire socket, some will call it a 24/7 socket, some will just call it a red un-switched (no on off switch) socket.

They are used for equipment in the UK that is not ever supposed to be either unplugged or turned off, stuff that is supposed to stay up 24/7, like fire alarms, routers, emergency lighting charging circuits, etc etc etc… and they should have fire-resistant electrical cable feeding them too, in a steel conduit.  Never do of course.

“Normal” mains sockets are white, and usually but not always have a on/off switch too…

In theory in my job everything should be in a rack with a powerbar or two providing all the sockets you need.. the reality is you may or may not get a rack, and you will have white sockets and often also 4 way extension leads all piled up, loads of plugs, and only way to find what goes to what is by tracing cables in the orgy of snakes… cleaners come it at night, grab nearest white socket, unplug whatever is there, plug in vacuum cleaner, away you go…

So I regularly have project managers asking me to inform them when a site doesn’t have any 24/7 sockets spare, and of course I do so, not just none spare, none, period.

So the cunts get back to me, asking me to ask the site and supplier and tooth fairy and anyone else for help in finding or identifying the sockets.

Fuck. You. All.

The only problem here is YOU cunts giving me these orders don’t know what a fucking fire socket looks like.

You don’t know what a fucking 3rd world country looks like either.

Let’s change the record again.

Some of the more perceptive people in my life have called me the mirror man, I treat you exactly the way you treat me, not the way you *think* you are treating me, the way you *actually* treat me.

It’s one of the reasons I have always been able to segue between worlds, while, it must be admitted, not really fitting in to any of them, exactly.

It doesn’t matter where on the planet I have been, the working man with a trade or a skill, and by that I mean everything from the fisherman to the boatbuilder etc etc, has always been someone that it was easy to strike up a rapport with.

The so called professional walking baseball encyclopaedia, not so much.

The so called professional below that who doesn’t know his own asshole from a fire socket, so just assumes that since I am on less money than him I don’t know either…. even less.

So when the fucking project manager assumes I am a clueless twat who doesn’t know what a fire socket looks like, I return the favour, and assume they are a clueless twat, even at their chosen speciality subject and job.

So when the skank ho’s womb turd decides that they don’t like me in their house, I return the favour, and decide that I don’t like them or being around them either, and skank ho mummy can go pull the bones outta that one and try and make it work.

When the 1st worlder who is thinking of bugging out to the 3rd world dismisses me as not understanding his own unique situation and prospects, I return the favour and assume he doesn’t either.

——————————————————–

This is the problem with the panopticon, it’s riddled with cataracts.

It really, really, really is like the old joke about Hitler offering Jesus an Iron Cross if Jesus will let him in heaven, Jesus couldn’t handle / carry a fucking wooden cross, much less an iron one.

Present these cunts with the NSA Panopticon, digitally imported everything, and in reality the cunts are even more lost and out of touch than when all they had to contend with was a room full of filing cabinets and card indexes.

Do you doubt me? Really?

Then I have a challenge for you, find me three meaningful (eg not 90 second clips) videos from the mid 1970’s ideally in the UK describing the following three related subjects.

1/ the three day week

2/ the rolling (mains electrical power) blackouts

3/ the collapse of banks and other financial institutions

I lived through it, so I know it all happened, and I don’t mean in the sense that was a bad storm that took a week to clear up, I mean in the sense it lasted for a few fucking years overall, and for six months it is just about literally all that WAS on the TV news.

Start with google video search… good luck with that… “BBC TV news 1974” will get you a whole page of results on kitten kong, a fucking Goodies comedy sketch.

It’s remarkable, that the only records that survive the fall of Pompeii 2,000 years ago are a few naff music videos featuring Jimmy Saville and a couple of fly on the wall documentaries about the drunks living down Macellum Street.

July 11, 2014

Someone set us up the bong.

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , — wimminz @ 9:57 am

Last post and the one before sort of establish a baseline.

That any one random sovereign individual dealing with any other random sovereign individual on a one to one basis may well cover an entire range of possibilities from absolutely equal to significant equality and advantage bestowed to one of the two over the other.

It may not be ideal, and it may suck donkey balls if you find yourself on the unequal end of such dealings with someone else who holds all the cards, nevertheless, it is by far the fairest deal on the planet.

If it is one sovereign individual on one side, having to deal with another sovereign individual, and that second sovereign individual is themselves accompanied by a large and associated collective of aligned sovereign individuals, then you are back to the situation I was describing yesterday.

A situation where the ONLY POSSIBLE forms of interaction are those that will exert control and influence over the first, lone, sovereign individual…. it is literally a one way street, the lone individual is always utterly powerless.

Sure, they can, in extremis, simply attack the second individual, who turned up to the party mob handed with the collective at their back, but most times, the collective is already expecting that, so the lone individual has even more of their sovereignty removed at the point of initial contact.

———————————————————

Fundamentally, the commonest “one plus one” building block of human relations and society was of course boy meets girl, they get married, start making babies.

Fundamentally, once it becomes boy meets girl + state, eg the state is suddenly involved in them co-habiting, any arrangements they make such as marriage etc, then as we see from the above, the inescapable conclusion is that the only possible forms that such things can take are all going to be universally negative for whoever finds themselves the lone solitary sovereign individual in such deals.

It is not a zero sum game, it is a zero game.

The larger the population of the collective on one side of the equation, the greater the disparity in power, and the bigger the loser the solitary sovereign individual becomes.

With the vertical integration of society, this means these collectives are vast, and the gulfs between them are now non-existent.

My first school was run by two women, it was a two room school, that was the entire staff, that’s how things were in small villages, parents paid for the kids to attend, the two women registered as a school, but it was like registering a dog and getting a licence, and there was no health and safety or anything else… it was a business, pure and simple.

Of course, by then, though I did not know it at the tender age of seven, I was about to get screwed for the first time by the collective and its inherent inequality.

You see, up until the age of seven, I’d been “home schooled” pretty much, which meant two hours at the kitchen / dining table in the morning after dad had gone to work and my own chores were done.

It’s efficient, mano a mano teaching, in two to three years of pretty relaxed one or two hour lessons five days a week, so 5 to 10 hours a week, that’s all, I go to a “proper” school at 7 and share a class with 20 or so other kids, and I learn nothing new, I’d already learnt all this, and the same the next year, and the same the next year, and by the time I am 10 and in my final year of primary education, I am finally starting to learn the odd new thing.  Mainly I have spent three years being bored, fucking around, and finding trouble to get in to.

And this was a small two room village school where the vertical integration of the collective pretty much stopped there.

Nevertheless, thanks to increasing vertical integration, the entire apparatus of the entire collective, millions to one, is focused on every single primary school, health and safety, diversity and equality, dedicated non teaching staff to oversee the teaching staff, curriculum planners and so on, and compared to the BEST of modern primary schools, that little two room school I went to was a centre of excellence, because not one single pupil got to ten years old without knowing the entire times table up to twelve by heart, and by heart I mean 100% perfect every time, not one single pupil could not read and write and spell at least 5,000 basic vocab words both perfectly and legibly, and not one single pupil didn’t have at least a passing acquaintance with subjects such as geography and history as well.

We were quite literally better educated than 16 year old school leavers a scant generation and a bit later in 1999, and they in turn were better educated than the assholes leaving school at 16 today.

You see, we are back at the boy plus girl thing, the vertically integrated collective did not just fuck up the educational system from 9 to 3:30 Monday to Friday, it fucked up marriage and home life too.

I have linked to this before.

You see, what many were scared of was exactly this shift, from being individuals to being mere fungible cogs in a vertically integrated machine.

I’m not being a luddite or trying to deny technology or progress.

The point is that it is not, was not, and never was NECESSARY to implement all this in a way that just built ever larger and more vertically integrated collectives on one side of the equation, while still leaving solitary once sovereign individuals on the other.

We, as a society, did not fucking *have* to build it that way.

Lots of whiners like our own Price Charles claimed to rail against all this, but he didn’t really, he has just always complained about the outcomes and goals of central planning and vertically integrated collectives, their *targets* are wrong, that is all…. he has never complained about the status quo, the very *structure* being wrong.

***********************************************************************

We started out by saying that it is simple human nature, one individual at a time can deal with one individual at a time, but the moment you get two or more individuals working together, suddenly everything changes, suddenly that new group tried to redefine the thing that they are against as that which they themselves do not do… even though invariably it is just a case of a new shade of lipstick on a pig.

We have said that into this body politic we get shifts from red team to blue team at apparent (to an outsider) random, and periodic temporal changes between two legs good and four legs bad, to four legs good and two legs bad, and so on.

The emergence of electronics, and then digital electronics, and then computer tech, IT, comms, is a wet dream for anyone looking at this simple human nature, talk about a duck to water, and suddenly levels of vertical integration of the collective, and therefore a shifting of the power from the individual to the collective.

It’s not mere coincidence that the rises in certain recorded events, such as divorces, is not *merely* a function of new laws being brought in that increase the collective power, but also with the technology of IT, which allows such data to be collected in the first place, and reported in the first place, and then mined, and so on.

There was a foreign country that I lived in many years ago, there were as always many laws that were passed down from on high.. but some of the locally unpopular ones that required that such and such a sector of society had to complete form ABC123b every year and then this that and the other were neatly sidestepped, the local authority just did not order any copies of form ABC123b, if there is no paperwork, nobody can fill it out, voila!

That’s all past, IT has evolved to the point where you no longer even say all it takes is a computer and email or a net connection, now a smartphone will do.

Of course, much of the form filling is automatic…

 

 

 

So where does it all leave us?

In a pretty bad place, really, from the individual perspective.

The First World War was hailed as being bloody awful, never again and all that, and they were right, the second world war was different, troops did not die on such a vast scale, but thanks to greater collectivism and vertical integration in society (IBM sold calculating machines to the nazis as well as everyone else) on a global scale more people in total died.

It’s not *just* that you could not have made anything even remotely like facebook back in 1960, because the technology of the day simply would not permit it, it is also that you could not have made an Islamic Caliphate, or a EU, because the technology of the day simply would not permit it.

Which makes world war three what?

Even less military casualties than WW2?

Even greater non-combatant casualties? Even more collateral materiel damage? Even more countries involved?

We didn’t merely ignore all the canaries in the coal-mines dying as we increased the vertical integration of the collectives in the home / marriage / schools / workplaces / etc, at every stage to the utter depredations of all the sovereign individuals involved, we fucking celebrated every single dead canary and paraded it as proof that the de-infestation policies were working, yellow rats with beaks, god the bastards are everywhere, thank fuck for this new and improved yellow rat catcher.

Take an asshole who can barely manage his own life, which is in truth every human being ever born, and give him power over ever greater numbers, and all you do is make the inevitable final fuckups ever greater.

Make these assholes so powerful that they think they can manipulate the game itself, which is the state of play today, and the fuckups can *only* be legendary in status.

Nobody is going to have time to notice if me and the ten year old down the street agree to enter into a sexual relationship, or I agree to buy a product that is the result of her child labour a continent away, or if she is long pig on the spit.

The bankers and the billionaire and the politician and the other echelons in the vertically integrated collective are going to have other priorities, and they won’t be hanging on to power or wealth or property or status.

they will be hanging on to illusions of grandeur.

July 10, 2014

Canon SX50 HS – two

Filed under: Wimminz — wimminz @ 6:48 pm

Just because I have been nagged by so many, post a decent pic showing what it can do… so this was taken of a grave from about 12 feet away today, handheld, zooming into the flahs innit.

f5, 1/250th sec, ISO 80, etc..

Pic is link to full size.

Raw image was tonemapped and saved to this jpeg.

IMG_0153

 

Linkfarms in life

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , , , , — wimminz @ 1:18 pm

A link farm is a web page that you go to, following a link, hoping to find X, when you get there, it contains nothing about X, just hundreds of links to other pages that might or might not contain info about X

If you followed and read in some depth the link at the end of the last post, the guy talks about PEOPLE, which is what it always comes down to, and no one who has seen the “troubles” in northern Ireland or the “communist emergency” in Malaysia or any other trouble spot, can fail to see the parallels between what he describes and what they saw, individuals who seem to move from blue team to red team, weeks when blue team is in favour and red team is not, and vice versa, people being heroes or terrorists, depending both on perspective and what week it is, and of course that old one about these types and their relationship to the ordinary guy on the street who just wants to fucking get on with life, not have some new local jackbooted oppressor telling him how said jackbooted one is a hero fighting for the guy in the street’s freedoms, of which the guy in the street sees none.

You see the parallels to link-farms, and in deed back in the day definitions of spammers, who attempt to re-define spam as that which they themselves do not do.

Meanwhile “scientists” are explaining everything to me, like the explanations of why the topology of the nearside of the moon differs so radically from the farside.

Me, having a rational and scientific brain, listen to these “answers” and explanations, and think, meh, OK, add another possible / plausible scenario to the pile or 999 others, but convinced, I think not.

These explanations, whether it be lunar topology or neanderthal genes in backwater chinese corpses or global warming, all share one thing in common.

They all proclaim to show just how such a thing could have happened, or how such a thing did happen.

None of them are scientific, in that none of them show how this is the only possible outcome.

For example, usury, the practice of charging interest on a loan, there can be only two states for a money supply, it is fixed and finite, or it can be inflated and finite (to be infinite, then the value of one unit becomes inescapably infinitely low) and since interest / percentages are indisputably nothing more than an exponential function, then there is only one possible outcome for each.

In the fixed finite money supply, the one charging the interest ends up amassing so much money that the supply fails to meet circulation needs, and the money fails in its primary function.

In the finite inflated money supply, then the value of each unit is devalued on an exponential curve, and as soon as that curve hits the steep slopes, the money fails in its primary function.

These are the only possible outcomes.

It would appear that human nature being what it is, as soon as you get more than a lone individual seeking power, it does not matter one iota what label that group has, whether it be the “legal” state or the “illegal” terrorist, the staple diet appears to be akin to the spammer, redefining what they do as not being the thing they are supposedly struggling against.

I have written before about A E Van Vogt’s book The Anarchistic Colossus, a society in which this human tendency was eradicated, there were military spaceships, but no military, any citizen could board one and command it.

What made all this work was a system of kirlian computers that read each human being’s aura, and stunned them when they were about to do something in spite.

There was a little anecdote about the arms race that ensued, the computers were programmed to stun anyone attempting to steal your mail, but some had discovered that if you merely opened and read the mail without stealing it, you would not be stunned, so the programming had to be altered.

All of which completely fails to address the 9 trillion ton elephant in the room, the human nature of which I speak.

The asshole who not merely genuinely believes that he knows better than me what is best for me, but that he also has an absolute right to try to convert me to his way of seeing things.

Let me be clear on this.

For values of “you” that include the rest of the human population, I do know better than you what is best for you, I just have no interest in enforcing my opinion upon you, I just want you to stop trying to enforce your opinion on me, a vain hope, so, sadly, you will all have to die…lol

I can sit here and make erudite statements about if I were made God, I would decree than every single individual is a soverign state, and while sovereign states were free to combine at will into collectives, no sovereign state or collective of same could in ANY WAY impose their will upon any other.

Who is going to enforce it, when going up against the biggest gang of sovereign states locally? In our case, the State itself.

The people of the United States and the people of the UK are essentially the same, and yet it is legal to fuck at 16 in the UK and illegal in the US, so we don’t even just have the basic “two wolves and a sheep democratically voting on what to have for lunch” scenario that makes the age of consent 16 here, there are no universal constants, even though by rights there should be, we are all the same peoples, and yet we cannot agree on even such basic things, which is a direct function of the FACT that different groupings of sovereign states come up with different answers to the same question, which is itself an indictment of the legitimacy of said sovereign states themselves.

Two big sovereign states and one small one = two wolves and one sheep…. it’s fractal baby.

Logically, scientifically, we come to some inescapable conclusions.

If I am 50 and this girl is 10, and we both agree to fuck each other regularly (and yes, I deliberately pick this most emotive of possible subjects) then in the pure sovereign individual world, there is no harm in this.

Ask anyone in the street if they would vote for this, and they react in horror, and say no.

Ask them who they think they are protecting, by saying no, do they think they themselves as sovereign individuals need protection, then the unwilling answer is always no, they ones they are trying to protect, allegedly, is always some one else, some other sovereign individual.

Which, inescapably, means removing sovereignty from said individual.

In a nation of sovereign individuals, there is no social security, and no taxes to fund it.

Instead we have the old fallbacks that we used to have, charity and compassion.

Amusingly, one of the arguments used against this was that charities could choose not to give help to those who did not behave as decent members of society, this was apparently “bad”.

From 1977, just after the economic harsh times of the mid seventies, of which youtube has not a single video of apparently.

July 9, 2014

“You may be right”

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: — wimminz @ 8:32 pm

So this guy is telling us that he in his souped up and chipped 8/9 year old 2 litre petrol Japanese compact car could burn me off in my bog standard but 1 year old 1.6 litre turbo-diesel German compact car, so I say “you may be right”, he smirks and walks off.

One of the other guys who has known me forever says, why did you say that may be right shit, I shrug, just easier, can’t be assed.

One of the other guys who hasn’t known me long turns to the guy who has known me forever and asks him what he means, like, am I a racing driver, or did I used to be, or is my car a sleeper…

He just tilts his head and me and says, nah, he’s a cunt, he just does stronger harder faster than anyone else, because he does it consistently.

The other guys were looking puzzled, the guys who has known me forever explains, he nods at me again, he isn’t that good a driver, or a rider, or anything else, but those that are better than him never talk about it, never challenge people, never big it up, so if someone does challenge him then by definition they aren’t better than him, and then what decided it isn’t who is best, just who can do stronger harder faster, consistently, for longer.

Then he gave a specific example, and I have mentioned this before, but I am talking about this here for one reason only, for the first time, I heard about this thing I did and lived through from someone else’s perspective.

So the whole thing was I was riding and old 74 inch shovel, with the standard for me 44t rear sprocket which really lengthened the stride, and this other guy had a brand new top of the range 1,100 cc kwack, and we ended up challenging each other to a race, nothing that unusual there, what got people interested was I said that any cunt can do 175 mph for 1 mile, but average speed… and on average speed my old shovel, which would pull a ton, just, if you were generous, was as fast if not faster than his new crotch rocket.

So the challenge was there and he was all OK bucko, you pick the distance, bear in mind we are sat in a pub in the south of England at the time, so I open my mouth and out pops “Athens”

You can’t un-ring a bell or un-say shit when a challenge is in the wind, so there it was.

Long story short, I beat him hands down, for two reasons, reason one was a 4.5 gallon twin tanks and 65 mpg @ 75 mph, and  I would sit in the saddle doing 75 mph for much longer than him, and reason two was he was riding so hard to catch up to the tortoise than in any event, even though he was behind at the end anyway, he wore out his rear tyre, down to canvas, just before the end.

Now, I have long since known that the guy who knew me forever won a Peter Green and the Fleetwood Mac poster, mint, a set of vacuum gauges, and 9 gallons of beer, on side bets placed on me.

So this last weekend when these recent events were going down, I heard for the first time WHY he bet on me, as he explained it, it wasn’t just that he personally knew things about me, eg the stronger harder faster for longer personality shit, or even what I was doing for work at that time, which was long distance dispatch riding for the pre-press industry, anything from 300 to 900 miles per day, Monday to Friday, on my trusty old z1000 shaftie workhorse, which happened to be in at my mate mechanics that week for the regular major overhaul, new guides, cam-chain, tensioners etc.

No, he bet on me because he knew no-one else there knew that stuff.

It was a cunt hair short of a 2,000 mile trip on the agreed route, nobody else there knew I could do that in two days (two ferries to rest on, one several hours, and one rest break in the north of Italy) because nobody else there knew that I already did that as a daily mileage on “bad” work days, in a country where the realistic maximum keep your licence speed was within a cunt hair of what the old FXE could cruise at, with 300 miles in between refuelling stops…

See, the guys says, nodding at me, he’s always been that kind of cunt, from way back, and as he explained, back then, no such thing as alloy wheels, bike wheels were steel rims and hubs laced with steel spokes, the dunlop 40 spoke pattern being most popular.

So back then, when you ran a hard-tail, which I did (of course..lol) which means a motorcycle with no rear suspension, you got the suspension you did from running a fat tyre at low pressure…. 7 psi was typical.

Now, spoke wheels you got to have a tube, no tubeless tyres, and spokes means a rim tape on the inside to protect the tube from the spoke ends, and since 7 psi isn’t enough to get the air pressure from the tube to make the tyre grip the rim well enough to stay solid under heavy acceleration, you used 3 or 4 polished for smoothness steel insert / clamps, that crushed the tyre bead against the rim, and these poked through the rim like air valves, but with bigger nuts, and if you rode hard and long, which I did, you have to let the meagre 7 psi out of the tube, and re-inflate the tube, and rinse and repeat 2 or 3 times, until the “creep” was gone and the air valve now poked through the rim straight again… otherwise it would rip, and puncture city.

So, long story short, it was a hard assed fucking ride man, hit a bump or pothole at speed, and it could really fucking *hurt* so there is this guy, known me for ever, saying even back then, you remember that time you gave that chick a ride to the gig and back, and she fell asleep on the back of a fucking hard-tail, which is *impossible*,  and you had to reach back and grab her to stop her falling off at 60 mph, that’s how long and hard he rode even back then in the seventies.

I’d actually forgotten that incident until he mentioned it, but I knew what he was saying, always been a cunt, always willing to go harder faster stronger.

The guy he won the vacuum gauges off, was boyfriend of that chick who fell asleep around about that time scale, the guy he won the small barrel of beer off, was her brother, I didn’t know either of them, but apparently they had me pegged.

So they knew about the harder faster stronger, but forgot it or discounted it.

As he said, it should not have been a leap for them, that that guy back then (eg me) could, 20/25 years later, be essentially the same guy, but it was two fold, one, they didn’t know I was doing long distance dispatching on a modern jap four shaftie 5 days and week, and number two, they just saw some asshole ride up on a potato=potato hardley dangerous, and applied the stereotype, poser on a slow bike that doesn’t handle worth shit, and then promptly believed everything they thought they saw.

Now, this story isn’t all about me and what a fucking hero I once was, it’s one of those where you sort of have to tell the whole story for it to make any sense, and the sense in it is what got triggered when I actually said, “you may be right” even though I was also thinking the unsaid “just pray your life never actually depends on you being right boy”

See, in an entirely other context, we were talking today about our company, Acme It corp, we being some of the field engineers, and while everyone was, as usual, moaning about the wages, about the office staff, about the logistics staff, about the sales staff, you get the picture…. they were all pretty sure that the company itself was healthy, and would still be trading, and indeed be bigger and stronger, at X point in the future… so job security should be a good un….

And I said “You may be right”, instantly remembered last weekend, the story above, and started grinning to myself.

They, like the guys who bet against me, don’t actually know what the company is doing this week, none of us get invited into board meetings or lunch with the accountants and bank manager, but instead the see some sort of googleplex light and all the gold partnerships and all the acquisitions, and put 2 and 2 together and get 22.

Which is why this link may be much more significant in YOUR life than it seems, no matter where you are..

http://uauk.wordpress.com/

July 6, 2014

I have finished reading teh internetz

Filed under: Wimminz — wimminz @ 12:31 pm

I have finally read it all, twice, there is no new content.

In a previous life, many moons ago, circa the Y2K panic, oh how the world was such a different place as recently as then, because *then* when a cop I knew at the time showed me a pic (screen cap from a vid) of a “girl” they were trying to trace, and save, cos she was being exploited and abused innit, I was free, or felt free enough, to answer him honestly.

He didn’t show it to me in the “helping with enquiries” sense, he showed it to me to prove what a serious and important job he had, see, he’d just been telling me all about what he did, and I said his job was complete bollocks.

So, he shows me this pic, young blonde girl holding a horse / donkey / pony cock near her mouth, and I just burst out laughing as soon as I saw it.

It wasn’t the reaction he was expecting, clearly I should have vomited in disgust and shock and then praised craptain save a ho, as the young girl obviously desperately needed saving and wescuing…

When I could stop giggling I told him to do an internet search for Bodil Joensen, like, this chick you’re trying to save, she died 15 years ago, (from then, in late 1999) aged 40… in Denmark.

Cunt hated me for that, see, you can’t rescue someone unless they are suffering, so if you wanna be a rescuer, there just *has* to be lots of suffering, and if there isn’t enough, then that becomes a problem that needs solving.

I mention all this, because it seems to mirror the approach everyone has now, economy bad? No sweat, just break some windows… sorted…

I have talked in the past about my mate who was always complaining about his job, and me always telling him to keep his head down and take the fucking money every month, because on the other side of the employee fence your crap job will suddenly start looking like a dream job on a goldmine salary….. not something you have *any* realistic hope of getting.

Well, last week he got shit-canned.

His position (head of IT) isn’t being filled, his manager is stepping into those shoes, so the company structure is now a couple of directors, a bunch of managers, and a load of worker drones, fungible labour.

See, wages paid to managers are an asset, wages paid to fungible worker drones a liability.

For my sins there are quite a few ordinary working stiffs in various places around the globe that I talk to on a regular / intermittent / random basis, and of course since there seem to be more and more “trouble spots” around the globe, this means more and more of them are in said places, and others who are in places that are not apparently trouble spots, but have the same sorts of stories to tell as those who are..

And those who are “here”, like my newly unemployed mate, the stories are different in degree, not nature.

You get some working stiff on ZH who says fuck it, had enough of all this shit, burn it down and start again.

I dunno, what would your attitude be if one day you wake up and discover that all the managers and directors and politicians and lawyers and bankers think exactly the same fucking thing?

Cos they are.

That’s what this whole thing is that lost my mate his job, companies are getting lean and mean, and that means a core management team, no employees important enough or smart enough or knowledgeable enough to take the company down in a fit of anger, and a bunch of fungible drones who can be hired or fired at will.

In the mid to late 80’s, in another country, I did the whole wetback thing, day working, one day’s work for one day’s pay, maybe you’ll get asked back tomorrow, maybe you won’t… but, to be fair, the hourly rate equaled one menu del dia per hour, so better than many…

It fucking sucks.

Owners like that shit though, y’all only need one ganger with employee status to herd one crew of them, and he knows he can be replaced real quick too… and it is too late to get your company ready for that shit, when that shit is already being sprayed everywhere by the fan.

Back in the 70’s in the UK when the IRA were still doing their “spectaculars” there was a joke doing the rounds, as jokes go, it wasn’t that funny, what made it work was the picture it painted, the faces and expressions on them, of the people in the joke.

What’s the fastest game in the world?

Pass the parcel in an Irish pub.

You know the sketch, a parcel is passed around until the music stops, and then that person has to peel one layer of wrapping off, but instead of the final layer of wrapping revealing a nice present, it was a bomb.

It was funny on many levels, not just because of the imagined expressions on the players as the parcel did its rounds, and again when the music stopped, but the whole Irish / stupid thing, it didn’t really help you a whole lot to be relieved when the parcel was passed to the guy next to you, or anyone else in the pub.

You see the analogy, NatBarcloid Bank is going to shit, thank fuck I’m with HSBC.

Mesopotamia is going to shit, thank fuck I’m in Romania.

Real estate is going to shit, thank fuck I’m in tourism.

You can substitute pretty much anything, where the first term applies to you, and the second to some other group.

My mate’s IT management job has gone to shit, thank fuck I’m the Cisco kid.

I’m in a race against time, I have to raise enough funds to buy myself a new full size industrial laser, while the getting is good.

Who knows how many layers of wrapping are left on that parcel, god knows it has to be a finite number, and they have been playing all night….

July 5, 2014

Lossy

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , , , , — wimminz @ 2:58 pm

This is in a way prompted by the whole digital photography thing.

RAW = digital equivalent of the old film negative. 16.8 MB

JPEG = “Lossy” 3-4 MB

“lossy” means it is a one way street, once you throw away data to go from the raw to the jpeg, there is literally no way to get that data back, it is lost, forever, and no, it is not a question of having the right software or the right amount of computing power or the right meta-data or anything else.

This is a random shot taken from my sofa of some crap lying on the floor about 8 feet away.

One – basic raw pic, 16.8 MB, white balance done, exported as a 16 bit TIFF 68.8 MB to AfterShot, no editing in aftershot, just saved as a JPEG with 90% quality.  3.46 MB… BTW all these four thumbs link to full size versions.

2014-08-04T14_47_41 one

Two – same pic, the jpeg now, pick red as a spot colour, adjust the fuzziness to get all the reds I want, save as jpeg, 2.94 MB

2014-08-04T14_47_41 two

Three – same pic, pick second spot colour (uncheck first but leave it unchanged) of yellow, adjust fuzzy etc, save as jpeg, 3.27 MB

2014-08-04T14_47_41 three

Four – same pic, just check both red and yellow spot colours, save as jpeg, 3.43 MB

2014-08-04T14_47_41 four

It is in many ways a pretty little pic, the spot colours and texture of the cord make it pretty, but note how re-enabling just the red spot colour, while leaving the yellow spot colour unchanged, also apparently alters subtly the shades of the yellow, compare the yellow in shots three and four.

But the fact is, you can’t get from the second or third or fourth pic to the first, no way, not possible.

Sure, if you are *incredibly* patient, you can colourise it by hand, and it may end up looking quite realistic, but it will not be the same… it will just be a guess.

In fact if you look at pic four, at 100% zoom, you’ll see each red spot on the cord surrounded by a bluish line where the red spot colour has mixed with the yellow spot colour.

This is not merely a case of information that has been LOST, but new information introduced THAT NEVER EXISTED IN THE ORIGINAL.

This latter point is an all too overlooked and vital part of ALL “lossy” techniques, it doesn’t *just* apply to digital pictures of some coloured cord on the floor of some random guy on the internet, it applies in every single case you use any kind of “lossy” process, as opposed to a bit perfect verbatim unedited clone copy.

Teracopy uses MD5 hashes to ensure that all copy and move processes produce bit perfect copies… for example… Windows file copy / move does not…. Windows file copy / move is much faster than Teracopy, and 99.99% of the time, it doesn’t matter.

The definition of “it doesn’t matter” is what matters here.

“Lossy” doesn’t matter (within limits) if you are just taking a picture of a small router / switch to record what patch leads go where.

“Lossy” does matter, a lot, if you are looking at an X-ray of your thorax and looking for anomalies, not only can a lossy process “lose” a genuine anomaly, the lossy process itself could “create” a non existent one, such as the blue border on the red spots of the rope.

The UK NHS uses all digital now for storage of X-rays, if you ask for a copy of your medical files you get a CD, documents are scanned as photos, no OCR, and pictures such as X-rays are stored as DICOM/HIPAX, obviously you don’t want your X-rays being stored as lossy jpegs, with quality set to some low but very common on the intertubes figure such as 65%

I always preferred FIF, or fractal image format, over jpeg or gif, because you could zoom to 400% and it still looked pretty damn good, not all minecraft / lego, but this was just a visual thing, it wasn’t actual data.

Everything from Blade Runner to CSI to everything else gets this shit wrong, zoom in, enhance, zoom in more, enhance more, they say.

Utter and total fucking bullshit, take a 200 page paperback book, tear it in half and throw the last 100 pages away, sure, you can write several credible alternative endings, but you will never ever ever get a word and layout perfect rendition of the original, no matter how much compute power you throw at the first 100 pages.

The opposite of the “lossy” are the “modelers”, they have models, they have interpolation, they have algo’s up the fucking wazzoo, tear a phone book in half and ask them to get even the next single entry correct, never mind the rest of the fucking book…

Thing is, until you actually try and look up Willy Wonka’s phone number, or dial a number at random eg 17th one down on page 247, it will look like a pretty good phone book. Add one more level of “difficulty” eg do it with a Chinese phone book, or a Berlin one to someone who cannot make international calls to Germany, and it’s indistinguishable.

If you hand me your PC for repair, the very first thing I do is make an image of the hard disk in Macrium, but here is the thing, it is (by default, I have the option to do otherwise, I just don’t, unless specifically requested to do so, or it is a server, then I do it by default) lossy, because it ignores every single sector on the hard drive which is listed as free space.

Hard drives don’t actually delete data, they just delete the index meta data, which is how data recovery works, a bit wise clone of your hard disk, we can do data recovery on, but even here, we still lose *something* in the copying, a normal “ignore free space” copy of your hard disk, we cannot do data recovery on, or, to be specific, if we do, we will recover what was written to THAT disk prior to your image being copied there, not what was on the free space on your old disk.

You see why even “police forensic” computer disk analysis is “lossy”, and indeed, unless the entire disk surface itself has been DOD wiped prior to use on that particular case, just like the earlier examples, it can introduce data that was never present in the original.

I once knew a sculptor, he described what he did as cutting away everything that was not the object inside, trying to get out, an example of a lossy technique that creates something more appealing, out of something less appealing, but, if he goes too far, tap tap, the right arm falls off, nobody in the future can say what the right hand was doing, how the hand and fingers were laid out, or were they even finished by the sculptor?

Lossy is prevalent in our own senses and brains and bodies, we simply discard most of the data coming in.

Lossy is everywhere.

That, however, is no reason to simply ignore it or discount it.

Nor even to adopt it as SOP.

Canon SX50 HS review

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , , , — wimminz @ 7:08 am

Serves me right for saying shit…lol… OK, by pop-u-laire request…

First off, if you read the Amazon reviews, you have to wonder if half these people are reviewing the same product… so lets start with the alleged complaints.

The EV (electronic viewfinder) works perfectly for me, perfectly functional, perfectly usable, though *clearly* the design ethos is use the LCD screen, and EV is the equivalent of the floppy disk and parallel port, but then I am prepared to wear spectacles to correct my eyesight.

It doesn’t come with a manual, funny, I got one in mine, sure, a brief one, not in depth, that’s what the CD is for, but more than good enough to get you up to speed, albeit not good enough to find specific camera functions and UI menu items.

The buttons are all too close together, then you must be obese with fat pudgy fingers, and TOTALLY incapable of typing anything on a smartphone.

etc

You get the idea.

So, here is my review.

In the box you get, Camera, carry strap, lens cap, battery, mains charger dock, “paperwork” bundle of 2 x CD and manuals, there is no USB lead, but most people have one anyway and in any event you don’t need one, just transfer the memory card itself, there is also no memory card, and the camera does not have any internal memory, so you definitely need a memory card of some sort.

I also purchased a spare battery, 2 x 32 GB class 10 SDHC cards, a tote bag and a remote control / shutter jobbie.

The battery docks in the mains charger for charging, not in the camera itself, takes 2 hours from empty for a full charge, see why I bought two batteries, and I bought 2 x 32 gig cards because it is more versatile that one 64 gig, which was what I used when I first unboxed the camera.

If you are only ever going to use AUTO mode, I’m not sure why you are buying this, or any similar camera, buy a point and shoot for half the money or less, certainly you will only ever get maybe 20% of the functionality of which the camera is capable if you stay in AUTO mode…. we’ll come back to this….

Generally speaking I have it on C1 pre-set, C2 I have pre-set to similar values but a default 12x zoom, this again is because the idea of C1 and C2 is not so much to give you anything special, all the other modes on the Canon rotating dial give you every option you can think of, the idea is to have to main common modes that are set just as you like them, that come up and are available within 1 second of hitting the ON button.

The old adage about the best camera is the one you have with you sorta applies here, if you spend 3 minutes sorting through menus you might miss the shot, and *this* is where all the AUTO users come from, instead of RTFM and actually using the available features they just leave everything on AUTO forever.

The native resolution of the SX50 CMOS sensor is 4000 x 3000 pixels, the native resolution of the Samsung SGS3 camera is 3264 x 2448, because the sensor itself is relatively small, compared to a genuine pro level DSLR, low light levels are where these cameras perform the worst, and to a photographer “low light levels” means “not in direct summer sunlight”, so every single indoor photo you ever take is going to be low light levels.

Incidentally, the smaller the physical pixels individually are, the worse they are, eg the less light they can capture and the more noise they capture, so the Sony Cybershot with the same size sensor and 20 mega-pixel as opposed to the Canon’s 12 mega-pixel sensor is going to have a harder time of it, but a full frame DSLR 18 mega-pixel sensor will have individual pixels an order of magnitude larger, eg will capture ten times the light and generate one tenth the noise…. but does this matter for 99% of users?

One final note on this, the SX50 will (in every mode except AUTO) write both a RAW and a JPEG to the memory card for every pic taken, RAW = a digital negative, anything and everything else is literally less, the ability to set white balance ALONE makes RAW worth it, sure, you can kinda duplicate this in image processing of jpegs, in the same way that a fleshlight is kinda as good as a 16 year old cunt… if it doesn’t shoot RAW, you may as well buy a point and click, if it does shoot RAW, never shoot anything else, ever.

Two minutes with Google will find you more shit than you can shake a stick at showing you just how impressive the SX50 can be, both in picture quality and the excellent zoom, that’s not what I am going to do, I’m going to take worst case scenario, which is why I mentioned the pixel resolution of the SX50 up there, and the SGS3 smartphone camera.

Worst case scenario is shooting a jpeg (not raw) indoors, no windows, electric light only, and framing the Canon shot so it pretty much has the same field of vision as the Samsung, eg eliminating everything the lens can do.

These pics are links to full size… jpegs… Neither one is processed in any way.

Samsung SGS3

Samsung

Canon SX50 HS

Canon

As you can see, at the resolution displayed on this page, not much in it at all, and when you look at the full size images these two thumbs link to, you cannot genuinely claim to see huge differences, for example the clarity of the text on the oscilloscope or the Farnell PSU, but, if you look at little deeper, you do see a better colour range in things like the wires hanging down over the oscilloscope, and if you look at the mould on the wall below the oscilloscope you can see it looks much more “real” than it does in the phone picture… but again, let me stress, this is worst case scenario, shooting jpeg, indoors in “low light levels” and at similar field of view to the phone camera.

The more observant will also see differences in lens barrel distortion and so on, and those of you who choose to download and save and examine in photo editing software will also see differences in the curves and histograms.

IMG_0058

This shows one huge advantage of the real camera, I am stood in exactly the same spot, I am still shooting jpeg, same low light levels, everything else the same too, but instead of having to physically move the camera to compose the shot, as you do with the phone, I just zoom in a little, it is still, in every way, a crap photo, it is a 3 MB jpeg, and that means 13 MB worth of RAW photo data has been thrown away, and just like the magazine cover girls, this is what every photographer starts out with and then tweaks to give you what you see, and you only see the finished product.

Yes, there are clear, if not massive, differences in the *apparent* quality of the sensor between the Canon camera and the Samsung phone, nota bene *apparent*, because most of the differences are masked by everything else I have done to set the shot up that way, and by shooting jpeg in both, etc etc, but even here, the more you look at the two pictures (you do need a large screen really, a laptop is considerably less than ideal) the more you will see the quality coming out in the Canon one.

The third shot shows the massive impact a half decent lens has, there is only one point in space and orientation etc from where that shot can have been taken by the Samsung, the canon can duplicate that, and do it better, but the Canon can also be in that same point in space, and orientation, and take literally thousands of clearly quite different pictures, RAW, so no I am not talking about different exposures or white balance or anything else, as none of these feature in a RAW image, I am talking *solely* about composition.

The third shot is literally impossible to take with the Samsung.

Don’t get me wrong, I use the cameras on my SGs3 and Note2 every single day, I will often take 20 or 30 pics a day, at work, of work, record keeping, CYA, and I can put BOTH of these devices together in my shirt pocket.

But, if you want to take a picture, as opposed to record keeping…. no contest.

Which is why I rant on about shooting raw, individual CMOS sensor physical pixel size, and so on, because there is literally no point in spending about 350/375 quid all up for the kit I bought (listed above) unless you actually use those capabilities, if you insist on smart-phone style point and click jpeg shooting then you don’t need more than a 100 quid camera, the Canon powershot A3500 is all you will ever need… 70 quid delivered.

White balance? Here are two shots.

Unedited, take as a jpeg

IMG_0018

Unedited, except for one click adjusting the while balance, taken as a RAW and then exported to jpeg.

2014-08-04T14_48_24

A picture tells a thousand words…. look at the full size versions, and you tell me which one pops out at ya….

In closing…. software.

The bundled Canon software is reasonably good, imagebrowser does a *real* good job of importing and organising stuff from the camera via usb, and digital photo pro does a passable job at basic photo editing and raw processing…. augmented by the fact that the SX50 itself, if you RTFM and set it up right, automatically incrementally numbers every shot, as well as putting it in a folder structure named (in digits) for the year, then the month, then the day…

Speaking personally I can’t tell you shit about Adobe lightroom, cloud crap, got to sign up for an online account even to download the demo, so I didn’t.

Already being a user of Corel VideoStudio Pro 17 for the Canon HD movie camera, it was a no brainer to download and try an evaluation copy of Corel AfterShot Pro 2 for the SX50, and I bought a copy… works well enough for me.

Thanks due to the person who turned me on to ACDSee Pro 7, it rocks…

« Newer Posts — Older Posts »

%d bloggers like this: