Back in the day, the day being the late seventies, two guys who were most visible behind the magazine Easyriders were JJ and Spider, one of them, I think it was Spider, did a thing where he interviewed a bunch of whores, and the whores classified / categorised the Johns, and there were about ten distinct types.
This is a list of the types of wimminz you find on swingers / fucking sites, and you may well say it is no use to you, as you don’t go to those sites, but everyone on a swingers site also has a PoF account, a cupid account, an escort site account etc etc, and they all have day lives and day jobs, so yes, you do meet them, you just may not be aware of it… AWALT.
BTW, none of these are mutually exclusive, a wimminz may be predominantly one, with a smattering of two or three others for seasoning.
The Black Cock Slut – A fairly self evident description, a white wimminz who prefers black cock, and it isn’t because wogs have bigger cocks, they don’t, it’s because they’re wogs, and it’s taboo, and you’ll hear all the horseshit about black and pink looking so sexual…. These are quite often wimminz in a relationshit, but not exclusively, and quite often hitting the wall looks wise, but not exclusively, etc. Avoid like the plague, not because they have tasted black meat, but because they are the biggest racists going, ps they also hate Chinese and Asian guys… not just whites
The Greedy Girl – Greedy as in wants lots of cock at the same time, no MMF or MMMF is good enough for her, but, she also falls some way short of the gangbang girl, greedy girls are almost always obese, so the greed extends to food intake too. Greedy girls will happily spend all night with their mouth at a gloryhole, swallowing cum like it is chocolates
The Gangbang Girl – I’m talking about the girl who does these regularly, not the girl who pulled a train one time, or had a couple of orgies… the gangbang girl likes at least 25 separate cocks in one session, some more, and will do this any thing from once a month to twice a week, in more extreme cases you are looking at an annual cock count way north of 500
The No Single Men Girl – This one is usually in a relationshit, secret or not, will fuck single men, but only those who really can keep their fucking mouth shut about it… she may do couples or groups, the main reason she isn’t into single men is she doesn’t do 1 to 1, she has enough of that shit with whatever poor bastard she is in a relationshit with, and she has no intention whatsoever of keeping up the same mask of pretence in her leisure time.
The Safe Sex Girl – This is very common, in the adverts profiles, of course, they aren’t talking about safe sex, they are talking about a condom for fucking the cunt, , they’ll suck your cock and swallow a load no problem, of course what they (or their partner) is really concerned about isn’t the disease or the sex, it’s your sperm, which is simply not good enough to be allowed anywhere near the hallowed ovaries etc etc etc.. or sometimes it is because asking him indoors to eat he cunt when he knows other guys have been dumping a load in it is a cuck too far and he’ll walk… This one is a wannabe Cuck Cunt (below) but she hasn’t yet managed to emasculate her man sufficiently, hey, it’s a work in progress….. Oh yeah, when you meet them 1 to 1, just the two of you, condoms are never even fucking mentioned.
The Uniform Girl – Loves uniforms, not soldiers so much, but you need to be that type, eg young and fit, and wearing your uniform / camo’s / boots etc when you turn up to bone the bitch. My you cousin used to pull this one, claimed to be a Falklands vet, shame he would have been about 5 when that went down, never failed to work though… but stay within limits, Waffen SS uniform and a car battery and pair of jump leads ain’t gonna do the trick.
The Complete Slut – Often an older wimminz, will fuck one or two guys regularly every week, and also have another one or two randomly chosen and different guys each week. These are actually fine, just make sure you are one of the semi random guys and not the regulars, they will be expected to leave glowing references to her simply amazing blow job skills and tight sweet juicy cunt (ain’t none of them things after this boy has blown a load in it), as well as buy them drinks and shit.
The New Slut – New to the site, new to the scene, these always always always turn into one of the others listed here within three months, unless you are first or second to get in there and dump your load, walk away. Despite being a new slut who is new to all this, without exception they all have a mate (female) who is a best mate who is a complete and utter fucking slut and who is currently considering an offer from her boss to spend a weekend with him in exchange for cash… funny how new sluts have friends who are all full time sluts and have been for years.
The Newly Single Slut – Just split up with my yadda yadda yadda, husband / boyfriend / fuckbuddy / hamster, it don’t matter, these are cool because you know, gaaa-ron–fucking–teed, that you too will fail to meet her standards, so you really can relax with these ones and not always have to keep one eye on the exit and exit strategy. Go for it.
The Promo Girl – Every fucking post or message is about what a great time she had at Throbbing Gristle’s parties, parties that single guys get to pay to attend, you get the picture yet? Bitch is one step short of being an honest hooker. That step is around 4 stories high mind ewe…
The Moby Dick – the land whale, some fat chicks can retain some sexuality or sensuality, these ones are just fucking gross, the 300lb slug you have to fuck from behind while smoking a cigar to hide her face and mask the smell, often fucked for a bet, but, they serve as living proof that there are guys out there who will fuck literally anything warm and wet.
The Painted Tart – Covered in skanky tatts, piercings, coloured hair, often red, some of these bitches could actually be half decent looking, if you could go back in time and grab them before they started experimenting, they are all fucked up in the head, you just have no idea how long the fuse has to burn, because it is hidden under all the ink and iron, but it is there, and it is burning away.
The Flaker – Sounds like she got it going on, talks like she is keen, but you have to do all the running, and if you are dumb enough to do it, she will cancel / flake at the last minute because her cat has IBS or some such shit.
The Yo-yo – This bitch leaves the site regularly, and comes back regularly, repeats the same pattern of behaviour as the last time she was on, and will do so again…. and again… and again… basically can’t make her mind up to be the others listed here, so dabbles a bit in all of it. Again, only any use when just returned.
The Anti-geek – This bitch is always complaining that some other bastard has hacked her PC / laptop / tablet / phone / account, just run the fuck away, too terminally stupid and technically illiterate to fuck or to be associated with, even to message.
The Cuck Cunt – This one thinks she really is all that, because she rules the roost in her house, and her husband does what the fuck he is told, hold the camera and take pictures of me fucking some random guys in our marital bed being what he is usually told, and then he often gets told he is on clean up duty, with tongue… This one and the safe sex girl are mainly looking at the Bitch, below, and thinking thank fuck that ain’t me… Hey, the night is young, we can but live in hope.
The Bitch – Feminazi cunt basically, all of them without exception have hit the wall, and despite all the other protestations the facts are that unless they hand out in the same place as the Moby Dick then they ain’t gonna get any action at all. Do not fuck unless you are making some porno featuring a toilet brush as a dildo… and no need to go to the expense of a new bog brush, just take your old one, and keep the new one for your own bathroom.
The Chick with a dick – Advertised as TV/TS, I have only ever seen one that looked even remotely feminine, even remotely like a chick with a dick, all the rest look like blokes dressed up in stockings, and that’s what they all are, even the ones working their way through the sex change process….. often seen hanging around blokes who ask questions like are they bisexual if a guy gives them a blowjob, cos, you know, I reckon I’m straight really.
The Banjo Player – This one, you know, duelling banjos, you literally only have to look at her to know there are bats loose in the belfry, and some genetic issues too, not just fugly so much as just plain WRONG looking, swapped around chromosomes and mixed up DNA looking, mutants. And not in a good way. They often really are looking for some other cock, as a change from their brothers or step brothers, which is the ones they usually get…. daddy being outta town, and the uncles, well, they had her when she was young and sweet, and have no more interest now…
The Before I Die Girl – These are really looking for a relationshit, and also seeing the scene as a way to fit everything kinky they ever dreamed of in between this new guy, who will know nothing about it, and the ex, who knows nothing about it. Go for it, if only to give thanks you are neither of those two guys.
The Club Meets Only Girl – This chick lives in a pigsty, and she is lazy, she doesn’t clean her own house, she isn’t going to do it just because you wiped your cock on her curtains and took a shit between the cushions in the sofa, because it was more hygienic than using the bathroom. So she goes to a club, and someone else can wipe up the cum and piss.. sorry, gushing…
And of course, there are the genuine swingers, and they are cool, but in the minority.
enjoy
