And so, as another year draws to a close… we ask ourselves what was achieved, either by ourselves, or by the wimminz and niggerz.
I spent much of last night and today driving old roads, or rather what was left of them, some of these roads I was just a passenger the first time I rode them, 7/8 years old with my dad driving, from before the time when the by-passes and dual carriageways and motorways got this far west and south, when single lane in each direction “A” roads were the only game in town.
It wasn’t just nostalgia, it wasn’t just re-connecting to various frames of reference for re-calibration, it wasn’t just boredom, it wasn’t just awareness of the passage of time, it wasn’t just a mixture of all of the above.
It was reminding myself who I really was, in what ways I have changed over the years, and in what ways I have not changed over the years.
Comparing myself at location X in the last days of 2011, with myself at the same location X in 1999, in 1982, in 1973…. seeing how location X has changed, and how it has stayed the same, and how I have changed, and stayed the same.
You come away from it with a set of visions of possible futures, you in location X in 2020 AD, in 2030 AD, and while some of your past experiences were pretty bad or out of the blue, like being falsely accused of rape, you get the sense of the broad “road” that is your life’s journey through time and through places such as location X.
You come away with it with a set of possible future “roads” that you could do down, and just as in the real roads with real decisions about the route you take and which turnings you do and do not take, you come away with a set of preferred routes, and a set of so-so routes, and a set of “sucks” routes.
Some of those unplanned detours in my past, like the FRA and the psycho skank ho ex, yeah, they were unplanned, and there is an argument that many will make that (to continue the roads analogy) they were partially my own fault for picking up nutters as hitch hikers, and then driving like a lunatic down some bad roads in some bad areas.
It’s not an argument I buy, because real life is like real roads, they do not run in a straight line from A to B, so to get from A to B in the real world you must take roads that snake all over the place, that climb hills and descend valleys, that have positive and negative camber, roadworks, etc etc.
And like in real life there is no direct route, but a series of choices, and multiple choices at that, and once each choice is made further choices become available, and you never actually know what is around the next bend until you get there.
In real life if you choose to actually fucking live, it is the same as choosing to actually drive from A to B in the real world, you expose yourself to all sorts of vagaries and events beyond your control.
20-20 hindsight with my psycho skank ho ex is like 20-20 hindsight having an incident at some point on the roads, you don’t give up driving half way between A and B, you don’t hide at home, you don’t beat yourself shitless, not everything that happens out there is 100% your fault, and if you think it is then stay at home and close the curtains and never go out.
2011, and 2012, will be as dim and distant as 1985 is now, and if we are still alive it will be something we are nostalgic about, just as we are today about our past.
I dunno about you, but I intend to have something to be nostalgic about.
Related articles
- England’s roads ‘getting worse’ (autonetinsurance.co.uk)
- Road-works, cycle routes and car parks data mapped (telegraph.co.uk)
- It’ll be lonely this cuntmass (wimminz.wordpress.com)
- Hard Tack (wimminz.wordpress.com)
- John Kippin: Nostalgia for the Future (itsnicethat.com)
- Wimminz and truth (wimminz.wordpress.com)
