Got a mate, his name isn’t really Mitch, but it ain’t a million miles away… he plays the swinging / fucking / dating sites too, though we tend to move in different circles due to the colour of his skin, or more precisely the colour of his cock.
Cunt made me choke on my beer with two little stories he told me.
First one is thanks to tineye, he finds that this chick he picked up via PoF, where she has one kind of profile, also has a profile on a fucking site, which says quite different things, so he says to her how about sticking your tongue up my ring-piece, and she starts acting all horrified and outrages, so he whips out his smart-phone, pulls up her profile on the fucking site, where rimming is listed as one of her interests.. what;s more it turns out that since he saw her last a few days before she has had a verification on the fucking site as the filling in a MMF sandwich.
He said her face ran through expressions like Hauser’s mask in Total Recall
Yeah, and then she blew up, cursed him every name under the sun and threw his black ass out.
So he was back to the grindstone and gets a message from this skank, and he shows me the profile, and it is all about how she fucking hates liars and dishonesty and shit so just be up front with her about what you want yadda yadda yadda, and then it gets to the bit where she mentions in closing that she has a husband who doesn’t know she is on a fucking site so she can’t accommodate and discretion is expected.
And the final line is “no blacks or asians”, and Mitch’s profile has a handle that starts with the word “black” and has three pictures of various parts of his body, all black… cos Mitch ain’t no milk chocolate type nigga, he is proper Nigerian black.
And he says to me, genuinely at a loss, what the fuck was I supposed to say to her? I literally have no fucking words, so I said the first thing that popped into my head that might put her off, I told her my profile was a bit economical with the truth, as he is actually a pre-op black transsexual.
Next thing he knows, she is calling him Master and worshipping him and talking about their future together, and bombarding him with messages and pictures etc, he tells me he is scared to visit that fucking website now. He is only partially joking.
I choke on beer again.
I guess it was a *lot* funnier for me because I know the guy personally and know the back-story etc. etc. etc, for example Mitch knows the whitey skank only wants his black cock because they see him as somewhere between human and animal and that makes their cunt throb, but for his part he only got into fucking white skanks because black skanks were even more mental and poisonous.
Mitch is my “black eye for the white guy” in shades of queer eye for the straight guy, in some areas, he sees shit I didn’t.
My part of the UK you can walk around and see almost no non white faces, I can go into town and back and literally count the non whites on the fingers of one hand, not so in the cities in the rest of the country, so my town is wholly unrepresentative of the nation as a whole and our cities as a whole, which is interesting when it comes to the demographics of the internet, whether it be a dating site or a fucking site, it all goes into the melting pot.
Except it doesn’t. the only black or indeed non white faces you find on a fucking site are men like Mitch, with the odd very rare exception that is female, and again it is count on the fingers of one hand stuff.
On dating sites the trend is not so obvious, but once your eyes are opened to it you can see the disparity.
It’s not to say that black / asian / whatever chicks don’t fuck around etc, they do, AWALT, but they don’t use dating / fucking sites like white skanks…. if you’re puzzling over why, to Mitch it is as obvious as the nose on your face, these sites are all run by whitey, and no it’s not “racis” he says, with a laugh, when the target it whitey.
Mitch has a mate who I have never met, he refers to this guy as the “Nigerian Eskimo“, guy spent a lot of time living and working trucking in the high latitudes of the Americas, mainly based in Edmonton and Calgary, and guys compare notes, and he tells me the Nigerian Eskimo was telling him if you want a truly fucking frightening experience get involved with all the freaks there living the new “poly” lifestyles and constantly updating /r twitter and their blogs…. he said it was like a lot of insane brains kept in jars doing a stream of conciousness vomit 24/7 and he likened it to an infectious mind plague, not the the surreality that you can sometime get if you wake up to 1/10th consciousness in one of your own dreams, but being 100% awake and lucid in and realising that you are living in other people’s collective dreams, with not a hind of conciousness or rationality anywhere…. apparently the Nigerian Eskimo eventually got so freaked by it all that one day back from a run he walked out the the apartment, left the door open, left all his shit apart from clothes and stuff in there, drained his bank, got in the old Caprice and didn’t stop until he got to Yuma, a year later and he found himself in the UK driving night trunking to mainland Europe and back.
Way Mitch tells it, the Nigerian Eskimo got seriously seriously freaked, as in seeing evil spirits and virally infectious memes spreading, they a’comin to get ya, and he (Mitch) used to laugh at this shit, but this last week, Mitch dunno any more, it don’t seem so funny any more.
Got another friend, was in the town he works last week so stopped by for a coffee and a chat, made me realise something, part of why I like my job is I am in a different place every day, almost never see the same site or the same people twice, but what I realised was that it’s been 7 years or more since I was in any kind of gig where I did see the same people every day, and that doesn’t just mean I’d forgotten how that was, it means I haven’t seen the changes the last 7 years have made to that environment either.
This friend is head of IT with this company, and he is talking like the Nigerian Eskimo, he can’t take it no more, it is changing and evolving, no longer what it was, no longer non toxic, no longer sane, no longer conducive to retaining sanity.
Now I have never met the Nigerian Eskimo, but it strikes me that him and this guy are like me and Mitch, on paper we don’t have shit in common, but on the sideband off the carrier where it counts, oh yeah, there’s all kind of stuff going on, plate of shrimp…lol
“It’s in the fucking can, that’s what you don’t understand” (you have to watch it all)
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