You know the story, or maybe you don’t…
One of the things you kept no matter what, even though you disassembled Johnny 5 in the heat of the moment years ago, just in case the vindictive psycho ex decided on a land grab, turn him into scrap.. har har
So what the fuck and years pass and finally you decide it’s time to make slow gradual steps reassembling Johnny 5
One of the things that went completely missing in the intervening years is the wiring loom, though I do have pics of it side cuttered up..lol
But I did all the other shit in the interim, all new wheel bearings, brakes, powder coating, so it wasn’t total neglect, at least, that is what I try to kid myself.
So this bitch is sat there with old oil in her, and one day I decide to botch a basic wiring loom and fire her up…
No Joy, fucking dead. Ah well, the old Yam TCI units were notorious for being crap anyway.
Fucking carbs are full of shit anyway.
Months pass and I decide to give the guys at Ignitech a call, get me a new TCI unit, new coils and HT leads, and locally get new plugs.
Strip, clean and rebuild the carbs, rig up a temp fuel supply with a funnel hanging from the roof of the shop.
Fit the coils, botch in the new TCI unit (thankfully there is no timing adjustments or anything to do on these “old” jap bikes), connect up the battery and crank the bitch.
Sweet fuck all…
Pull the HT lead and try a spare plug on the engine… nuffink…
Flash the coils (after disconnecting from the TCI) with the +ve supply and ZAP, big fat blue spark, no fucking output from the TCI.
Why no output from a brand new TCI, most likely guess is the 33 year old pick-ups on the crank, the one thing I avoided looking at for now, mainly because it means draining the oil and shit, and I was hoping to fire her up on the old oil and warm the motor, before draining, so now really it will require two oil changes, bitch.
Fuck this shit, what are the chances the old rectifier / regulator is still any good… yeah, that’s what I thought too, another case of putting something off and hoping for the best, and then at a later date being stalled again because it didn’t turn out that way.
So chase the boys at Ignitech, they supply pick-ups and rectifiers, gotta identify the right pick-ups first, and asked them in the interim if there is a method they will accept / approve to simulate a pick-up to the TCI unit and drive a coil to spark, just because, you know, so far I have an assumption, not a smoking gun…
The old pick-ups do give 166 Ohms, which is within book spec, but of course that don’t mean they are working worth shit, just means they aren’t burnt out.
Bitch is cranking and you can hear / feel the compression and she is pumping vapours like she should, just needs a fucking spark… then I could have gotten on with making a new wiring loom…
There is a moral here, the moral is the new TCI unit and coils cost me 200 Euros inc shipping, the new Yuasa YTX-20 about 120 Euros, new plugs 15 to 20 Euros, this morning I discovered that whatever tosser I lent my cable crimp tool to hasn’t returned it, and I only had a 2.99 piece of shit, so went out and bought another stripper / crimper, 45 Euros, while we are at it get some more crimps and heat shrink, another 25 Euros… we’re up to 450 ish Euros
Fucking pick-ups are only about 15 Euros each, and about 110 for the new rectifier, so I already spent the bulk of the fucking money to make a 100% brand new ignition and wiring system, oh yeah, 130 Euros for the two carb rebuild kits and consumables etc.
And because the bitch did not get a spark and start, I cannot sit here and say OK, Johnny 5 is alive, now I can proceed and make the wiring loom and all the other shit I have to do to turn this from a project in the workshop to a street legal and reliable bike.
So these days I have free are, at least as far as project bike is concerned, wasted.
All because I delayed buying the pickups and rectifier, because I was trying to save on an oil change…. because I decided this time to buy the bitch some semi synthetic instead of the usual generic stuff, and that shit is 80 Euros a gallon… plus a new filter.
And new headlights are on the list, and the saddle needs remaking or replacing, and being honest the tank needs swapping for a larger one, as it is the old one is full of rust flakes and the pet-cock is seized solid, needs a final drive chain too, so it’s not like it isn’t going to be a money pit for a while yet… I suspect there is a 1,000 Euros without any problems at all in those little things.
And I haven’t, or won’t, actually save any money, by the time the job is done.
And as I type this, the bitch hasn’t sprung into life and filled my workshop with noise and smell and carbon monoxide, which is a bummer.
And this is a really simple ignition system, you just plug things together, there is no adjustments of any kind that can be made to the ignition electrics.
And I still managed to fuck it up, which is the only definition that really applies when you get up with the plan to start that bitch today…
Spoiling a ship for ha’p’orth of tar.
And because I scared myself a couple of days ago, you know “it’s been a few years since the bitch was run last” and then someone asks you when, exactly… so you start digging through your electronic files.
July 2005, so coming up on NINE mother-fucking years, not “a few”, fucking NINE…. it’s getting to the stage of one of those youtube vids, and here she is, last started in 1926….
(not mine below)
