By Thorsten J. Pattberg

Framing means talking the people into something that doesn‘t even exist. It is the last and ultimate manipulative strategy used by any author to describe everything he wished had happened in a way that bequeaths his own brilliant legacy and fits an imaginary plot.

We say last manipulative strategy because at this point, as a versatile writer, all other techniques ought to have been exhausted.

Take the Western genre. Old Joe, all covered in mud and dirt, could have come home to his family and never mentioned that the horse is dead – the conspiracy of silence.

He could have said that now was the time to buy a new pair of boots – the distraction tactic.

Old Joe could have said that, now that somebody reported a dead horse laying on the roadside, that it was him who cleared it from the pave, but that there really was nothing more to see, poor thing – whitewashing.

He could have told them all kinds of fanciful stories with the intention of beating a dead horse, but he could not tell them that it was him who had beaten the horse to death – plausible deniability.

Easy.

Joe now got the story right, or rather, everyone else got it wrong: There was a terrible chase with outlaws and gunslingers, and bullets hailed and the spades went up and Joe cheated death but his horse did not.

Criminologists do not apply the borrowed word “framing” from carpentry lightheartedly. To them, it literally means building a fake support structure. If there is but the slightest incoherence apparent to the jury – if it is not a corrupt jury that is -, even the most elaborately framed case cannot support the gallows and must collapse.

Not so for our writologists who live on insolent words, jolly stories and unrestrained cunning. Regimes, journalists and authors unashamedly frame each and everything else and their readers.

The greatest “Western” genre writer of all time, with over 200,000,000 books sold, was not American, and he had never even been to America, let alone to the American Wild West. Karl Friedrich May was a German author from Hohenstein by Radebeul in the Kingdom of Saxony, Germany. He invented cowboys like Old Shatterhand and Apache chieftains like Winnetou purely based on his barefaced imaginations and from reading adventure novels.

Whoa, wait! You might say: Horseshit! Tell me this isn‘t true, really? A German trickster framed the “American West”! How did he get away with it? Well, he apparently asked himself that very same question, as he was widely considered a complete cheat, liar and fabulist.

Back.

Remember when we said that framing is the last and ultimate manipulative strategy? Last, because if the author‘s reputation is already in tatters, it is also ultimate, because he might as well command those 11,700 Apache Indians, 100,000 English separatists or 60,000,000 German soldiers – and ride roughshod with them!

This is plain psychology. When Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, studied a young boy‘s phobia of horses, already scientists shrugged Freud off as con artist, fraud and cult leader. With nothing to lose, Dr. Freud went into a work frenzy and invented thousands of cases such as Little Hans, Rat Man and Schizo Dora, and, at last, mass-framed all of us, the entirety of humanity no less, as unconsciously traumatized, anal-fixated sex-addicts.

But let us turn back to delusional Karl Friedrich May. The framing of the American Wild West as a romantic cowboy-Indian-bandit show, attracted the largest distribution systems of his time, the regime publishers first in his Kingdom of Saxony, next the German Empire, and later inspired generations of European spaghetti Western movies. Mr. May and his referring-to-himself-in-the-third-person chieftain Winnetou soon spoke in forty languages.

While Sigmund Freud was a natural-born liar and charlatan who prescribed cocaine to marijuana addicts, Karl May was naturally selected for bullshitting. Nine of his thirteen siblings had died prematurely, and Karl was too poor to travel, and too unemployed to live honest. Mr. May was a known thief and a scammer in Radebeul, and was jailed no less than three times – all solid cases as far as the criminologists were concerned.

Writing impossibly tall, taller-than-life fake stories was his last and ultimate strategy, as it had always been this way with all known impostors and gascons, from Maximilien Robespierre to Friedrich Hegel, from Theodor Adorno to Michel Foucault, all of them who were exceptionally warped narcissists and bad scientists but unbelievable plaster saints.

Their tall stories form impenetrable frameworks that shield them from past failures, but to their credit, they took a great risk: Choosing between unbridled grandstanding and a pact with the regime or being thrown back to the scum of writers. Only a talent who sets himself apart from all the others by complete and unremitting, shamelessly unapologetic framing of entire societies will be considered truly great to the masses.

The English verb “to frame” is actually the correct one to go with “constitution,” although I wouldn’t advise going about and knocking the hats off the Americans. A constitution is the national frame of government. You can lie through your teeth as long as it is within that frame.

I learned fondly how Abraham Lincoln rifled through the Declaration of Independence, independence from the English I mean, as he framed it: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal…” which is actually him pulling off an early Karl May. Mr. Lincoln had never seen two men created equal, just as Mr. May had never seen a white man with a red man.

The constitutional frame is a beaten-to-death horse over which the Americans must jump and hurdle, even though the self-evident and equality parts – in hindsight – look more socialist than the socialist writings of another big German scoundrel – Karl Marx.

Walk.

In the framer‘s mind, there inhabited the American Wild West only three people: the peaceful white settlers, the nice red Indians, and the ugly bandits. Old Shatterhand and Winnetou were blutsbrüder, blood brethren. No mentioning of genocide and conquest, just fighting outlaws, all Italian looking, I know, crazy, and Ol‘ Shatterhand riding horse Hatatitla, the brother of Winnetou‘s Iltschi. But none of them was gay, because Winnetou had a little sister.

So the West got framed. Americans got framed. Marxists got framed. Everybody got framed, all by fantastic authors that were known during their life-time as bullshitters.

Now, every time I see or hear the written words frame, framing, framework, I wanna puke. Frame this, frame that, they are framing us! There are now Framework Institutes and Framing Inequality and Policy Framing, Professors of Framing as well as Centers for Framing Analysis. Oh no! writes a woman in the German Times: “They are framing our reality!” “It’s voodoo!” writes a black woman writer in the same paper, who might have a future case.

Over.

The new framers were coming. How do we explain: A) the totalitarian European Union, B) the collapse of the Soviet Union, and C) the hereditary, totally not fair British school system? We are already known crooks and liars with hay-burners, so this time we really gotta pile up a whole mountain-range of horseshit.

Framing is such a stupefying grandiose activity, we might as well try to pull them out from the ass of God‘s-a-horse-on-business. Answer to A) Lend the money-lenders a pen. Answer to B) Fund Hollywood studios and the New York Times. Answer to C) Blow up Harry Potter and his School of Wizardry to 200 countries.

Let us dive a little bit into today‘s hypermodern, multi-billion euro framing industry. Obviously, we have framed constitutions. We have our cause of origin framed. We have our traditions framed. Our enemies must be framed at all times.

When in 2016 during the New Year’s Eve celebrations, over 2,000 women were sexually assaulted in Cologne, Germany, by “men of non-European origin,” this almost certainly did not fit the regime’s open borders strategy and welcome Africa story. In the framer‘s mind, there inhabit West Germany only three people: the peaceful dark settlers, the nice white Germans, and the ugly Nazis.

So believe it or not, the authorities in Cologne, North-Rhine Westphalia, together with their masters in Berlin, conspired with the police and dragged this dead horse from the pave. There, it dried and decayed for three days.

Meanwhile, rumors spread quickly through the population, and Cologne has not a few chatty tourists and foreign agents, so the news eventually got out. Yes, there happened on New Years Eve in Cologne a mass sex assault by dark migrant men on German native women.

On the fourth day, neighboring Austrian, British and Swiss papers covered the horror, but no big deal. They can‘t break the German censorship wall. But who can break the German censorship wall? – easy, that‘s the United States of America in the form of the New York Times!

The Merkel regime in Berlin and the handlers in Cologne stood there in the international lights with their pants down. What an embarrassment.

Within the next weeks and months, Germany organized a gigantic framing operation by which the Cologne incident was dragged back onto the pave and an entirely new story about what happened that night was told.

The ugly Nazi women dressed provocatively and thus sent the wrong signals to peaceful African and Muslim party-goers. Ugly Nazi men overreacted and filmed the peaceful dark settlers in a negative light. Luckily, the nice Germans that day never filed any police report and nobody was arrested or prosecuted.

It is true. Not a single perpetrator from the initial 2,000 cases that night was arrested or prosecuted. The new Cologne chief of police, a nice German woman, suggested other nice German women next time to “keep one arm’s length of social distance” to peaceful dark settlers, you know, to avoid being raped. The framers in Berlin declared war on ugly Nazis, even though the last Nazi alive is 96 years of age.

It is easy to chuckle at the misfortune of the German natives and their suffering under powerful framing by their deceitful rulers. But it is the Americans who truly stalk up to their eyeballs in horseshit.

When American socialist Central News Network CNN reported on the 2020 mass looting and rioting by the dark people throughout the United States, causing billions of dollars in property damage, its journalists framed the terror and crimes as “mostly peaceful demonstrations.”

Stand.

Many Americans can‘t comprehend the framing by such a powerful news network. Its authors are known propagandists and liars, and they have now resorted to the last and ultimate strategy used by so many other authors in history before them who had nothing to lose no more. They said Fuck it! We may as well talk big fat horseshit and frame 340,000,000 Americans.

America is a fiction. And watch which authors get idolized. The Constitution was framed in 1787 and starts with a lie: “We The People.” It didn‘t include the people not being in the room. It didn’t include the British people, who were driven out, and not the Indian people that were exterminated. It didn‘t even include women and blacks. It certainly does not include ordinary Americans who are kept dumb and illiterate. It should read: We The Rulers.

When in 2020 CNN framed the protest march in Washington D.C. against an allegedly stolen election and a corrupt government as “a capitol riot” or even “an insurrection,” most Europeans held their breath. And then CNN said this: It was the “worst crisis of democracy since a certain person in Nazi Germany.” How cynical your lying and deceitful leaders have become, for was it not that certain person and Nazi Germany that lauded and praised Karl May‘s romantic renderings of you Americans.

When an author realizes that his over-the-top fiction is promoted -and, literally, taken at its word – by a powerful regime looking for a framework, as it happened to Abraham Lincoln, Karl May, Karl Marx or Sigmund Freud, they all proceed from there on a similar ego-trip: They now feel they have to invent backstories to their lies in their biographies. More lies to match the fiction.

Abraham Lincoln tried hard to disguise that he was a racist and slave owner. Karl May tried to quickly travel the world before he died, but didn‘t make it. However, he said he distant-learned 1,200 languages more, hung up counterfeit rifles, such as Old Shatterhand’s Bärentöter, and told audiences that he and Winnetou together shot bison with it. Karl Marx tried to look like a proletarian, even though he was an upper-class parasite who never worked a real job. Sigmund Freud later diagnosed patients from the distance, like Jesus but better. They knew no restraint.

Their greedy regimes, meanwhile, whether it is America or Germany, will absolutely go in off the deep end and rope those fat storytellers in. And because our regimes are gonna hang a lot of bad guys by their necks and drag horses off the pave, the disgusting and utterly delusional support framework by our bogus greatest authors must hold.

The author is a German writer and cultural critic.

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