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July 9, 2014

“You may be right”

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: harder faster — wimminz @ 8:32 pm

So this guy is telling us that he in his souped up and chipped 8/9 year old 2 litre petrol Japanese compact car could burn me off in my bog standard but 1 year old 1.6 litre turbo-diesel German compact car, so I say “you may be right”, he smirks and walks off.

One of the other guys who has known me forever says, why did you say that may be right shit, I shrug, just easier, can’t be assed.

One of the other guys who hasn’t known me long turns to the guy who has known me forever and asks him what he means, like, am I a racing driver, or did I used to be, or is my car a sleeper…

He just tilts his head and me and says, nah, he’s a cunt, he just does stronger harder faster than anyone else, because he does it consistently.

The other guys were looking puzzled, the guys who has known me forever explains, he nods at me again, he isn’t that good a driver, or a rider, or anything else, but those that are better than him never talk about it, never challenge people, never big it up, so if someone does challenge him then by definition they aren’t better than him, and then what decided it isn’t who is best, just who can do stronger harder faster, consistently, for longer.

Then he gave a specific example, and I have mentioned this before, but I am talking about this here for one reason only, for the first time, I heard about this thing I did and lived through from someone else’s perspective.

So the whole thing was I was riding and old 74 inch shovel, with the standard for me 44t rear sprocket which really lengthened the stride, and this other guy had a brand new top of the range 1,100 cc kwack, and we ended up challenging each other to a race, nothing that unusual there, what got people interested was I said that any cunt can do 175 mph for 1 mile, but average speed… and on average speed my old shovel, which would pull a ton, just, if you were generous, was as fast if not faster than his new crotch rocket.

So the challenge was there and he was all OK bucko, you pick the distance, bear in mind we are sat in a pub in the south of England at the time, so I open my mouth and out pops “Athens”

You can’t un-ring a bell or un-say shit when a challenge is in the wind, so there it was.

Long story short, I beat him hands down, for two reasons, reason one was a 4.5 gallon twin tanks and 65 mpg @ 75 mph, and I would sit in the saddle doing 75 mph for much longer than him, and reason two was he was riding so hard to catch up to the tortoise than in any event, even though he was behind at the end anyway, he wore out his rear tyre, down to canvas, just before the end.

Now, I have long since known that the guy who knew me forever won a Peter Green and the Fleetwood Mac poster, mint, a set of vacuum gauges, and 9 gallons of beer, on side bets placed on me.

So this last weekend when these recent events were going down, I heard for the first time WHY he bet on me, as he explained it, it wasn’t just that he personally knew things about me, eg the stronger harder faster for longer personality shit, or even what I was doing for work at that time, which was long distance dispatch riding for the pre-press industry, anything from 300 to 900 miles per day, Monday to Friday, on my trusty old z1000 shaftie workhorse, which happened to be in at my mate mechanics that week for the regular major overhaul, new guides, cam-chain, tensioners etc.

No, he bet on me because he knew no-one else there knew that stuff.

It was a cunt hair short of a 2,000 mile trip on the agreed route, nobody else there knew I could do that in two days (two ferries to rest on, one several hours, and one rest break in the north of Italy) because nobody else there knew that I already did that as a daily mileage on “bad” work days, in a country where the realistic maximum keep your licence speed was within a cunt hair of what the old FXE could cruise at, with 300 miles in between refuelling stops…

See, the guys says, nodding at me, he’s always been that kind of cunt, from way back, and as he explained, back then, no such thing as alloy wheels, bike wheels were steel rims and hubs laced with steel spokes, the dunlop 40 spoke pattern being most popular.

So back then, when you ran a hard-tail, which I did (of course..lol) which means a motorcycle with no rear suspension, you got the suspension you did from running a fat tyre at low pressure…. 7 psi was typical.

Now, spoke wheels you got to have a tube, no tubeless tyres, and spokes means a rim tape on the inside to protect the tube from the spoke ends, and since 7 psi isn’t enough to get the air pressure from the tube to make the tyre grip the rim well enough to stay solid under heavy acceleration, you used 3 or 4 polished for smoothness steel insert / clamps, that crushed the tyre bead against the rim, and these poked through the rim like air valves, but with bigger nuts, and if you rode hard and long, which I did, you have to let the meagre 7 psi out of the tube, and re-inflate the tube, and rinse and repeat 2 or 3 times, until the “creep” was gone and the air valve now poked through the rim straight again… otherwise it would rip, and puncture city.

So, long story short, it was a hard assed fucking ride man, hit a bump or pothole at speed, and it could really fucking *hurt* so there is this guy, known me for ever, saying even back then, you remember that time you gave that chick a ride to the gig and back, and she fell asleep on the back of a fucking hard-tail, which is *impossible*, and you had to reach back and grab her to stop her falling off at 60 mph, that’s how long and hard he rode even back then in the seventies.

I’d actually forgotten that incident until he mentioned it, but I knew what he was saying, always been a cunt, always willing to go harder faster stronger.

The guy he won the vacuum gauges off, was boyfriend of that chick who fell asleep around about that time scale, the guy he won the small barrel of beer off, was her brother, I didn’t know either of them, but apparently they had me pegged.

So they knew about the harder faster stronger, but forgot it or discounted it.

As he said, it should not have been a leap for them, that that guy back then (eg me) could, 20/25 years later, be essentially the same guy, but it was two fold, one, they didn’t know I was doing long distance dispatching on a modern jap four shaftie 5 days and week, and number two, they just saw some asshole ride up on a potato=potato hardley dangerous, and applied the stereotype, poser on a slow bike that doesn’t handle worth shit, and then promptly believed everything they thought they saw.

Now, this story isn’t all about me and what a fucking hero I once was, it’s one of those where you sort of have to tell the whole story for it to make any sense, and the sense in it is what got triggered when I actually said, “you may be right” even though I was also thinking the unsaid “just pray your life never actually depends on you being right boy”

See, in an entirely other context, we were talking today about our company, Acme It corp, we being some of the field engineers, and while everyone was, as usual, moaning about the wages, about the office staff, about the logistics staff, about the sales staff, you get the picture…. they were all pretty sure that the company itself was healthy, and would still be trading, and indeed be bigger and stronger, at X point in the future… so job security should be a good un….

And I said “You may be right”, instantly remembered last weekend, the story above, and started grinning to myself.

They, like the guys who bet against me, don’t actually know what the company is doing this week, none of us get invited into board meetings or lunch with the accountants and bank manager, but instead the see some sort of googleplex light and all the gold partnerships and all the acquisitions, and put 2 and 2 together and get 22.

Which is why this link may be much more significant in YOUR life than it seems, no matter where you are..

http://uauk.wordpress.com/

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July 6, 2014

I have finished reading teh internetz

Filed under: Wimminz — wimminz @ 12:31 pm

I have finally read it all, twice, there is no new content.

In a previous life, many moons ago, circa the Y2K panic, oh how the world was such a different place as recently as then, because *then* when a cop I knew at the time showed me a pic (screen cap from a vid) of a “girl” they were trying to trace, and save, cos she was being exploited and abused innit, I was free, or felt free enough, to answer him honestly.

He didn’t show it to me in the “helping with enquiries” sense, he showed it to me to prove what a serious and important job he had, see, he’d just been telling me all about what he did, and I said his job was complete bollocks.

So, he shows me this pic, young blonde girl holding a horse / donkey / pony cock near her mouth, and I just burst out laughing as soon as I saw it.

It wasn’t the reaction he was expecting, clearly I should have vomited in disgust and shock and then praised craptain save a ho, as the young girl obviously desperately needed saving and wescuing…

When I could stop giggling I told him to do an internet search for Bodil Joensen, like, this chick you’re trying to save, she died 15 years ago, (from then, in late 1999) aged 40… in Denmark.

Cunt hated me for that, see, you can’t rescue someone unless they are suffering, so if you wanna be a rescuer, there just *has* to be lots of suffering, and if there isn’t enough, then that becomes a problem that needs solving.

I mention all this, because it seems to mirror the approach everyone has now, economy bad? No sweat, just break some windows… sorted…

I have talked in the past about my mate who was always complaining about his job, and me always telling him to keep his head down and take the fucking money every month, because on the other side of the employee fence your crap job will suddenly start looking like a dream job on a goldmine salary….. not something you have *any* realistic hope of getting.

Well, last week he got shit-canned.

His position (head of IT) isn’t being filled, his manager is stepping into those shoes, so the company structure is now a couple of directors, a bunch of managers, and a load of worker drones, fungible labour.

See, wages paid to managers are an asset, wages paid to fungible worker drones a liability.

For my sins there are quite a few ordinary working stiffs in various places around the globe that I talk to on a regular / intermittent / random basis, and of course since there seem to be more and more “trouble spots” around the globe, this means more and more of them are in said places, and others who are in places that are not apparently trouble spots, but have the same sorts of stories to tell as those who are..

And those who are “here”, like my newly unemployed mate, the stories are different in degree, not nature.

You get some working stiff on ZH who says fuck it, had enough of all this shit, burn it down and start again.

I dunno, what would your attitude be if one day you wake up and discover that all the managers and directors and politicians and lawyers and bankers think exactly the same fucking thing?

Cos they are.

That’s what this whole thing is that lost my mate his job, companies are getting lean and mean, and that means a core management team, no employees important enough or smart enough or knowledgeable enough to take the company down in a fit of anger, and a bunch of fungible drones who can be hired or fired at will.

In the mid to late 80’s, in another country, I did the whole wetback thing, day working, one day’s work for one day’s pay, maybe you’ll get asked back tomorrow, maybe you won’t… but, to be fair, the hourly rate equaled one menu del dia per hour, so better than many…

It fucking sucks.

Owners like that shit though, y’all only need one ganger with employee status to herd one crew of them, and he knows he can be replaced real quick too… and it is too late to get your company ready for that shit, when that shit is already being sprayed everywhere by the fan.

Back in the 70’s in the UK when the IRA were still doing their “spectaculars” there was a joke doing the rounds, as jokes go, it wasn’t that funny, what made it work was the picture it painted, the faces and expressions on them, of the people in the joke.

What’s the fastest game in the world?

Pass the parcel in an Irish pub.

You know the sketch, a parcel is passed around until the music stops, and then that person has to peel one layer of wrapping off, but instead of the final layer of wrapping revealing a nice present, it was a bomb.

It was funny on many levels, not just because of the imagined expressions on the players as the parcel did its rounds, and again when the music stopped, but the whole Irish / stupid thing, it didn’t really help you a whole lot to be relieved when the parcel was passed to the guy next to you, or anyone else in the pub.

You see the analogy, NatBarcloid Bank is going to shit, thank fuck I’m with HSBC.

Mesopotamia is going to shit, thank fuck I’m in Romania.

Real estate is going to shit, thank fuck I’m in tourism.

You can substitute pretty much anything, where the first term applies to you, and the second to some other group.

My mate’s IT management job has gone to shit, thank fuck I’m the Cisco kid.

I’m in a race against time, I have to raise enough funds to buy myself a new full size industrial laser, while the getting is good.

Who knows how many layers of wrapping are left on that parcel, god knows it has to be a finite number, and they have been playing all night….

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July 5, 2014

Lossy

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: data recovery, lossy process, spot colour, spot colours, yellow spot colours — wimminz @ 2:58 pm

This is in a way prompted by the whole digital photography thing.

RAW = digital equivalent of the old film negative. 16.8 MB

JPEG = “Lossy” 3-4 MB

“lossy” means it is a one way street, once you throw away data to go from the raw to the jpeg, there is literally no way to get that data back, it is lost, forever, and no, it is not a question of having the right software or the right amount of computing power or the right meta-data or anything else.

This is a random shot taken from my sofa of some crap lying on the floor about 8 feet away.

One – basic raw pic, 16.8 MB, white balance done, exported as a 16 bit TIFF 68.8 MB to AfterShot, no editing in aftershot, just saved as a JPEG with 90% quality. 3.46 MB… BTW all these four thumbs link to full size versions.

Two – same pic, the jpeg now, pick red as a spot colour, adjust the fuzziness to get all the reds I want, save as jpeg, 2.94 MB

Three – same pic, pick second spot colour (uncheck first but leave it unchanged) of yellow, adjust fuzzy etc, save as jpeg, 3.27 MB

Four – same pic, just check both red and yellow spot colours, save as jpeg, 3.43 MB

It is in many ways a pretty little pic, the spot colours and texture of the cord make it pretty, but note how re-enabling just the red spot colour, while leaving the yellow spot colour unchanged, also apparently alters subtly the shades of the yellow, compare the yellow in shots three and four.

But the fact is, you can’t get from the second or third or fourth pic to the first, no way, not possible.

Sure, if you are *incredibly* patient, you can colourise it by hand, and it may end up looking quite realistic, but it will not be the same… it will just be a guess.

In fact if you look at pic four, at 100% zoom, you’ll see each red spot on the cord surrounded by a bluish line where the red spot colour has mixed with the yellow spot colour.

This is not merely a case of information that has been LOST, but new information introduced THAT NEVER EXISTED IN THE ORIGINAL.

This latter point is an all too overlooked and vital part of ALL “lossy” techniques, it doesn’t *just* apply to digital pictures of some coloured cord on the floor of some random guy on the internet, it applies in every single case you use any kind of “lossy” process, as opposed to a bit perfect verbatim unedited clone copy.

Teracopy uses MD5 hashes to ensure that all copy and move processes produce bit perfect copies… for example… Windows file copy / move does not…. Windows file copy / move is much faster than Teracopy, and 99.99% of the time, it doesn’t matter.

The definition of “it doesn’t matter” is what matters here.

“Lossy” doesn’t matter (within limits) if you are just taking a picture of a small router / switch to record what patch leads go where.

“Lossy” does matter, a lot, if you are looking at an X-ray of your thorax and looking for anomalies, not only can a lossy process “lose” a genuine anomaly, the lossy process itself could “create” a non existent one, such as the blue border on the red spots of the rope.

The UK NHS uses all digital now for storage of X-rays, if you ask for a copy of your medical files you get a CD, documents are scanned as photos, no OCR, and pictures such as X-rays are stored as DICOM/HIPAX, obviously you don’t want your X-rays being stored as lossy jpegs, with quality set to some low but very common on the intertubes figure such as 65%

I always preferred FIF, or fractal image format, over jpeg or gif, because you could zoom to 400% and it still looked pretty damn good, not all minecraft / lego, but this was just a visual thing, it wasn’t actual data.

Everything from Blade Runner to CSI to everything else gets this shit wrong, zoom in, enhance, zoom in more, enhance more, they say.

Utter and total fucking bullshit, take a 200 page paperback book, tear it in half and throw the last 100 pages away, sure, you can write several credible alternative endings, but you will never ever ever get a word and layout perfect rendition of the original, no matter how much compute power you throw at the first 100 pages.

The opposite of the “lossy” are the “modelers”, they have models, they have interpolation, they have algo’s up the fucking wazzoo, tear a phone book in half and ask them to get even the next single entry correct, never mind the rest of the fucking book…

Thing is, until you actually try and look up Willy Wonka’s phone number, or dial a number at random eg 17th one down on page 247, it will look like a pretty good phone book. Add one more level of “difficulty” eg do it with a Chinese phone book, or a Berlin one to someone who cannot make international calls to Germany, and it’s indistinguishable.

If you hand me your PC for repair, the very first thing I do is make an image of the hard disk in Macrium, but here is the thing, it is (by default, I have the option to do otherwise, I just don’t, unless specifically requested to do so, or it is a server, then I do it by default) lossy, because it ignores every single sector on the hard drive which is listed as free space.

Hard drives don’t actually delete data, they just delete the index meta data, which is how data recovery works, a bit wise clone of your hard disk, we can do data recovery on, but even here, we still lose *something* in the copying, a normal “ignore free space” copy of your hard disk, we cannot do data recovery on, or, to be specific, if we do, we will recover what was written to THAT disk prior to your image being copied there, not what was on the free space on your old disk.

You see why even “police forensic” computer disk analysis is “lossy”, and indeed, unless the entire disk surface itself has been DOD wiped prior to use on that particular case, just like the earlier examples, it can introduce data that was never present in the original.

I once knew a sculptor, he described what he did as cutting away everything that was not the object inside, trying to get out, an example of a lossy technique that creates something more appealing, out of something less appealing, but, if he goes too far, tap tap, the right arm falls off, nobody in the future can say what the right hand was doing, how the hand and fingers were laid out, or were they even finished by the sculptor?

Lossy is prevalent in our own senses and brains and bodies, we simply discard most of the data coming in.

Lossy is everywhere.

That, however, is no reason to simply ignore it or discount it.

Nor even to adopt it as SOP.

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Canon SX50 HS review

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: Canon camera, CMOS sensor, memory card, Samsung — wimminz @ 7:08 am

Serves me right for saying shit…lol… OK, by pop-u-laire request…

First off, if you read the Amazon reviews, you have to wonder if half these people are reviewing the same product… so lets start with the alleged complaints.

The EV (electronic viewfinder) works perfectly for me, perfectly functional, perfectly usable, though *clearly* the design ethos is use the LCD screen, and EV is the equivalent of the floppy disk and parallel port, but then I am prepared to wear spectacles to correct my eyesight.

It doesn’t come with a manual, funny, I got one in mine, sure, a brief one, not in depth, that’s what the CD is for, but more than good enough to get you up to speed, albeit not good enough to find specific camera functions and UI menu items.

The buttons are all too close together, then you must be obese with fat pudgy fingers, and TOTALLY incapable of typing anything on a smartphone.

etc

You get the idea.

So, here is my review.

In the box you get, Camera, carry strap, lens cap, battery, mains charger dock, “paperwork” bundle of 2 x CD and manuals, there is no USB lead, but most people have one anyway and in any event you don’t need one, just transfer the memory card itself, there is also no memory card, and the camera does not have any internal memory, so you definitely need a memory card of some sort.

I also purchased a spare battery, 2 x 32 GB class 10 SDHC cards, a tote bag and a remote control / shutter jobbie.

The battery docks in the mains charger for charging, not in the camera itself, takes 2 hours from empty for a full charge, see why I bought two batteries, and I bought 2 x 32 gig cards because it is more versatile that one 64 gig, which was what I used when I first unboxed the camera.

If you are only ever going to use AUTO mode, I’m not sure why you are buying this, or any similar camera, buy a point and shoot for half the money or less, certainly you will only ever get maybe 20% of the functionality of which the camera is capable if you stay in AUTO mode…. we’ll come back to this….

Generally speaking I have it on C1 pre-set, C2 I have pre-set to similar values but a default 12x zoom, this again is because the idea of C1 and C2 is not so much to give you anything special, all the other modes on the Canon rotating dial give you every option you can think of, the idea is to have to main common modes that are set just as you like them, that come up and are available within 1 second of hitting the ON button.

The old adage about the best camera is the one you have with you sorta applies here, if you spend 3 minutes sorting through menus you might miss the shot, and *this* is where all the AUTO users come from, instead of RTFM and actually using the available features they just leave everything on AUTO forever.

The native resolution of the SX50 CMOS sensor is 4000 x 3000 pixels, the native resolution of the Samsung SGS3 camera is 3264 x 2448, because the sensor itself is relatively small, compared to a genuine pro level DSLR, low light levels are where these cameras perform the worst, and to a photographer “low light levels” means “not in direct summer sunlight”, so every single indoor photo you ever take is going to be low light levels.

Incidentally, the smaller the physical pixels individually are, the worse they are, eg the less light they can capture and the more noise they capture, so the Sony Cybershot with the same size sensor and 20 mega-pixel as opposed to the Canon’s 12 mega-pixel sensor is going to have a harder time of it, but a full frame DSLR 18 mega-pixel sensor will have individual pixels an order of magnitude larger, eg will capture ten times the light and generate one tenth the noise…. but does this matter for 99% of users?

One final note on this, the SX50 will (in every mode except AUTO) write both a RAW and a JPEG to the memory card for every pic taken, RAW = a digital negative, anything and everything else is literally less, the ability to set white balance ALONE makes RAW worth it, sure, you can kinda duplicate this in image processing of jpegs, in the same way that a fleshlight is kinda as good as a 16 year old cunt… if it doesn’t shoot RAW, you may as well buy a point and click, if it does shoot RAW, never shoot anything else, ever.

Two minutes with Google will find you more shit than you can shake a stick at showing you just how impressive the SX50 can be, both in picture quality and the excellent zoom, that’s not what I am going to do, I’m going to take worst case scenario, which is why I mentioned the pixel resolution of the SX50 up there, and the SGS3 smartphone camera.

Worst case scenario is shooting a jpeg (not raw) indoors, no windows, electric light only, and framing the Canon shot so it pretty much has the same field of vision as the Samsung, eg eliminating everything the lens can do.

These pics are links to full size… jpegs… Neither one is processed in any way.

Samsung SGS3

Canon SX50 HS

As you can see, at the resolution displayed on this page, not much in it at all, and when you look at the full size images these two thumbs link to, you cannot genuinely claim to see huge differences, for example the clarity of the text on the oscilloscope or the Farnell PSU, but, if you look at little deeper, you do see a better colour range in things like the wires hanging down over the oscilloscope, and if you look at the mould on the wall below the oscilloscope you can see it looks much more “real” than it does in the phone picture… but again, let me stress, this is worst case scenario, shooting jpeg, indoors in “low light levels” and at similar field of view to the phone camera.

The more observant will also see differences in lens barrel distortion and so on, and those of you who choose to download and save and examine in photo editing software will also see differences in the curves and histograms.

This shows one huge advantage of the real camera, I am stood in exactly the same spot, I am still shooting jpeg, same low light levels, everything else the same too, but instead of having to physically move the camera to compose the shot, as you do with the phone, I just zoom in a little, it is still, in every way, a crap photo, it is a 3 MB jpeg, and that means 13 MB worth of RAW photo data has been thrown away, and just like the magazine cover girls, this is what every photographer starts out with and then tweaks to give you what you see, and you only see the finished product.

Yes, there are clear, if not massive, differences in the *apparent* quality of the sensor between the Canon camera and the Samsung phone, nota bene *apparent*, because most of the differences are masked by everything else I have done to set the shot up that way, and by shooting jpeg in both, etc etc, but even here, the more you look at the two pictures (you do need a large screen really, a laptop is considerably less than ideal) the more you will see the quality coming out in the Canon one.

The third shot shows the massive impact a half decent lens has, there is only one point in space and orientation etc from where that shot can have been taken by the Samsung, the canon can duplicate that, and do it better, but the Canon can also be in that same point in space, and orientation, and take literally thousands of clearly quite different pictures, RAW, so no I am not talking about different exposures or white balance or anything else, as none of these feature in a RAW image, I am talking *solely* about composition.

The third shot is literally impossible to take with the Samsung.

Don’t get me wrong, I use the cameras on my SGs3 and Note2 every single day, I will often take 20 or 30 pics a day, at work, of work, record keeping, CYA, and I can put BOTH of these devices together in my shirt pocket.

But, if you want to take a picture, as opposed to record keeping…. no contest.

Which is why I rant on about shooting raw, individual CMOS sensor physical pixel size, and so on, because there is literally no point in spending about 350/375 quid all up for the kit I bought (listed above) unless you actually use those capabilities, if you insist on smart-phone style point and click jpeg shooting then you don’t need more than a 100 quid camera, the Canon powershot A3500 is all you will ever need… 70 quid delivered.

White balance? Here are two shots.

Unedited, take as a jpeg

Unedited, except for one click adjusting the while balance, taken as a RAW and then exported to jpeg.

A picture tells a thousand words…. look at the full size versions, and you tell me which one pops out at ya….

In closing…. software.

The bundled Canon software is reasonably good, imagebrowser does a *real* good job of importing and organising stuff from the camera via usb, and digital photo pro does a passable job at basic photo editing and raw processing…. augmented by the fact that the SX50 itself, if you RTFM and set it up right, automatically incrementally numbers every shot, as well as putting it in a folder structure named (in digits) for the year, then the month, then the day…

Speaking personally I can’t tell you shit about Adobe lightroom, cloud crap, got to sign up for an online account even to download the demo, so I didn’t.

Already being a user of Corel VideoStudio Pro 17 for the Canon HD movie camera, it was a no brainer to download and try an evaluation copy of Corel AfterShot Pro 2 for the SX50, and I bought a copy… works well enough for me.

Thanks due to the person who turned me on to ACDSee Pro 7, it rocks…

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July 3, 2014

Luddites, or something else.

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: JW, Microsoft, Sony — wimminz @ 11:51 am

Over at the Slog, John is yet again moaning about what a lot of bastards Microsoft are, it’s not that MS shit won’t work, or can’t be made to work, it is that it doesn’t work in EXACTLY the same user interface way as he *wants* it to work.

One of his commenter’s was whining about that fact that somewhere around the 98/Me/Xp days, those evil bastards at microshaft swapped around the order in which My Documents and My Pictures appeared on the menu’s, confusing the living shit out of everyone, who had to relearn how to use an OS as a result.

John goes on to tell us that Windows 8 & 8.1 are also a steaming pile of shit, blissfully unaware of the fact that Windows Server 2012 is basically windows 8 with bits added… of course what he really means is the new GUI confuses him, shit ain’t where it used to be.

Was talking to someone else about bridge cameras, they’d just bought a Sony, I went all meh, Sony are on my shit-list and have been for many years now, since before the root-kit fiasco, so what would you have bought, they ask, in that price bracket? Canon SX50HS, no contest. No question. No hesitation.

Oh no, they looked at that and didn’t buy it because it got a 1 star review from another old experienced photography hand who said the EV (electronic viewfinder) was total shit, they refused to use the rear LCD screen, cos they have always used the viewfinder to compose… plus the Canon only has 12 mega-pixels, and the Sony has 20… so it’s better.

Now I grew up around photography, Dad had Rollei’s and 8mm clockwork cine cameras, back in the day, I’ve known several true pro photographers, and by true pro I mean mainstream media, their pics made the front page and the reuters wire, know one now, who estimates it would cost him in excess of quarter of a million dollars US to replace all his kit, and this is shit he uses all the time, not a collection on a shelf, he carries a Canon SX50HS *as well* as everything else, he says everyone else can make do with *just* an SX50, it will do everything they could ask, and they aren’t good enough to use better.

I agree with him, but lots of people on Amazon for instance do not, they think it is a shit camera.

I’ve sat in this guy’s garden and he has taken 6 pictures with the SX50 and leaned over and handed it to me and I have taken 6, then we go inside, his pictures were fucking jaw droppingly good and eye popping and wow, mine were sooooo much better than they would have been with a smart-phone camera…lol… but you could printed all 12 out and stopped some random fuck on the street and said sort these into two groups, the 6 you like the best and the 6 you like the least, and you know mine would have been in the 6 they liked the least.

Having said that, that demo was enough to get me to go on Amazon and order one there and then, and a few extras, remote control, spare battery, carry case, etc.

He came back out with about 8k worth of DSLR and lens (EOS 1DX), and took the same six shots, we went inside, as he said, unless you were blowing them up to poster size, not a lot in it, if we repeated the test at midnight, OK, there you would have seen a *clear* difference, but UK£8,000 worth? Only if you did that shit for a living…. and could bill it back… he can, people will and do pay him £2,500 a pop for a single photo.

Same as JW thinks Microsoft is all shit, (then he goes and buys a shitty little HP laptop with Win 8 and starts complaining about MS…) and it is always the same refrain.

I doesn’t do what I want it to do, the way I want it to do it, by pressing the buttons I want to press.

Shades of my pro photographer mate, nobody I know of any age or experience who works in IT actually thinks MS is complete shit, sure, they think there are a lot of people running 2012 server on boxes that really do not require it, but that’s matey and the SX50 HS vs EOS 1DX comparison again.

Or indeed the 2014 Mk7 1.6 blue-motion diesel golf vs Audi R8 comparison…. for legal road use where you intend to actually keep your licence… the £125k Audi is no better or faster A to B than the £22k VW, for 99.999% of users.

Being better and faster on the Autobahn doesn’t apply unless you actually drive the fucking autobahn’s regularly…. and then you need the actual driving skill and ability as well…

I don’t think any of these people are actually Luddites, per se..

As said in the previous post, technically a Luddite is someone who throws clogs in the new machines to break them, as the new machines threaten their old way of life.

The JW’s of this world are a different kettle of fish, it isn’t a case of deliberately breaking something, it is the case of being unable to use it properly, and being unwilling to learn how.

Now, while I do not expect everyone to be renaissance man…….. let’s look at my mum, she has never used a PC, or a tablet, or a smartphone, or the internet, nor does she have any interest in any of these things, none at all, she is quite happy with her digital terrestrial satellite TV, DVD/CD/MP3 player, music centre for audio CD’s and Radio and LP’s, books, and so on, and the landline push button telephone.

It’s not that she is *incapable* of learning how to use a PC, she just has no interest.

Contrast this with the JW’s of this world, who insist on using one, in order to publish his blog, but, being brutally honest, flatly refuse to learn how to use one properly, and insists instead that it is the evil and shit Microsoft who cannot write an operating system and application software exactly the way JW likes.

I deleted his blog link some time ago, because it became increasingly evident that far from merely falling short of some idealised lofty goal of being a renaissance man, JW is in fact nothing more than a fucking idiot.

In this case, his whole attitude towards MS etc *is* indicative of his general intellect and ability to perceive the world as it really is.

Even fucking idiots can be right about some things some of the time, and that’s how I ended up adding a link to him in the first place, more fool me…

More fool me because of the innate human tendency to cut someone some slack on items D through Q if you know that items A, B & C they were pretty much spot on with, so you give items D through Q head time that you would not have done otherwise.

It’s shades of Ben Bernanke refusing to accept that if QE as applied by him doesn’t fucking work, then the fault does not lie with him, or how he is using tool X, but instead the fault lies with the tool itself, or worse still, the material the tool is being used to modify.

A bad workman always blames his tools.

As a proverb this goes back at least as far as 1290 AD

I have come to the conclusion that no matter what specific field it is that the “workman” in question is blaming his “tools” for, no matter how distant that field appears to be from the subject in question, the fact that he is doing so is such a profound statement about the character of the “workman” themselves, that suddenly it becomes very relevant, not just to this field too, but to any and every field that “workman” may touch.

As in, it is a fucking serious and base and ripples-like-veins-through-marble fucking character flaw.

As in, it’s like a wimminz with dyed bright RED hair, that tells you enough, there are NO areas of her character that are worth a damn, or safe enough for you to be in any proximity of any kind to.

Comments (4)

July 2, 2014

10 items or less

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: automated checkout, drones, fungible, workforce management — wimminz @ 10:22 am

DMJ has a piece up, partly about self service checkouts.

Given a choice, I’ll use them every time, despite the fact they are as flaky as fuck and keep telling me to place the item in the bag even though I haven’t scanned it yet, and the assistant gets called so I can continue.

My reasons are many and varied, there aren’t any “10 items or less” or “baskets only” aisles any more, and I want to pay and get outta there, not queue behind some hambeast.

Queueing isn’t an option, because most of the till isles are unmanned, saves the company money, and they will stay that way just short of the point where people do the shop, see the queue, and abandon the entire trolley and go somewhere else.

The “manned” tills, there really isn’t a fucking difference any more, some clown who swipes each item over a laser scan head instead of me having to do it for myself, that really is the *only* significant difference.

This issue behind this, and everything else, is we have come to this point, thanks to technology, where every single possible aspect of the job that might require any kind of skill or experience or knowledge or intellect has been automated away.

This is the point that I believe DMJ and others and missing, staff are now a fungible commodity, you hire a worker, since no skills or intellect or training is requires, one worker will do as well as any other, just start them at 8 am, they are in the tills by 9 am and unsupervised by 10 am, apart from the ever present 24/7 hands on supervision and control of the machines and the system itself of course.

During the original industrial revolution, this was what the people rebelled against, it wasn’t so much the fact that one machine could put 50 weavers out of business, it was the fact that that one machine required no skill to operate, a 12 year old boy was good enough, and right there you have the same thing, staff as the fungible commodity…

12 year old boys and checkout staff are a lot CHEAPER to hire and easier to replace at a moment’s notice than the old way of doing things.

Again, if you thought the industrial revolution = the end of craftsmanship, you are a bloody fool, and you have clearly never seen a skilled miller / turner / welder / engineer at work.

There is a fundamental principle here, and it is vital, other wise you *utterly* miss the point and get everything else wrong.

The various new technologies, in and of themselves, does not turn the workforce into unskilled fungible worker drones.

NO matter what the technology, be it belt driven workshops, jacquard looms, electricity, computers, automated checkouts, it is always and without exception HOW THESE TECHNOLOGIES WERE APPLIED BY MANAGEMENT that turned the workforce into unskilled fungible worker drones.

This is the primary function of workforce management, if 99.9% of your workforce is as utilitarian and fungible as a basic 2×4 lego block, you just solved 99.9% of your potential problems, from the management perspective, and workers are *always* a problem from the management perspective, never an asset.

DMJ currently has a piece up about the Prisoner’s Dilemma, hello, what did you think the workers throwing their clogs into the machinery was, except the 99th iteration he talks about in that piece.

What did he think the old Guilds were? I’m not saying they were a perfect solution, or even a desirable one, but they did ring-fence being say a smith, from employment, a boss can sack you, you are no longer a smith, and hire someone else in your place, fungible… in the guild you were a smith for life, or until the guild itself kicked you out…. the boss could sack you, but he couldn’t employ just anyone to fill your role, it had to be another smith.

In a sense, when marriage was *only* the business of the church, and none of the business of the state, then that too was in many ways a guild, and if stable marriages and stable families was your goal, it too worked better than the present system, albeit at a price.

Everything, you see, has a price, always has, always will.

Something else everyone has forgotten the true meaning of, and it is also fundamental to the whole prisoner’s dilemma thing, is trust.

Trust does not mean what you think it means.

I trust that falling 100 feet down a vertical cliff onto boulders is going to kill me, every, single, fucking, time.

trust != fair

Ergo “trusted working practices” do not equal “fair working practices“, and so on, but nowadays we have the two mixed up irrevocably, another trick of management.

Since time immemorial, this has been an issue for “management”, by whatever name management went by at the time, getting the maximum output from a given worker, for the minimum outlay in return.

In prisoner’s dilemma speak, management will always fuck you over as much as they can.

To be sure, the Guild would fuck you over too, but the Guild could not reduce its members to a fungible commodity, without at the same time utterly destroying itself.

If management, or the baron, or king, or the industrialist, wanted ten silversmiths, he had to negotiate with the guild, the guild for their part could simply refuse to supply them, either the price wasn’t good enough or whatever other reasons there were, the guild could not be coerced, only destroyed.

You want an heir, you’ll need a wife, which means you’ll need a marriage, which means you’ll need the church (which in those days meant the church of Rome) which worked OK until ‘enery de 8th, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Not however the history as taught in schools, that is itself anti-guild and pro-management worker drone.

Nor am I sitting here and claiming that a return to 14th century methods will solve any, much less, all, our modern ills.

I do however state that what we have now is not in any way different, just because we are now dealing with a computerised automated checkout, and not a weaving loom powered via overhead shafts and belts from a waterwheel, sure, the technology is different, but the technology isn’t the issue, the management attitude is the issue, and that is the same.

The public clock tower and chiming bells was created for no purpose other than to ensure the worker drones all got two work together at the beginning of a shift, in order to maximise production…. and the later tradition of being given a watch upon retirement was nothing more than a symbolic gesture that once again, your time was your own.

The guilds were not all good, every system has it’s fucking problems, but it was the guilds who gave rise to universities, and guilds who have rise to the local community management via the guild hall…. but when guilds were basically abolished by management by the 1600’s, the thing the worker offered the guild, effectively indentured labour, was carried on, almost until the present day, but now that labour was indentured directly to management, and not to the guild.

We’re back to “trust” and “fair” being two separate concepts.

The guilds were of course chastised for being a burden on the economy, stifling innovation, and rent seeking behaviour, not that any of these things were necessarily untrue, not that the capitalist system that replaced it did not suffer from the exact same drawbacks.

Twain said history don’t repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme.

Twain was right, because throughout history we have the human animal, who has essentially remained unchanged, Machiavelli would fit right in at the UN.

The automated checkout is like the industrial spinning loom, it is basically just a tool.

The important question you should always ask is this, why was this tool made just so, instead of being made just so… and then you start to see that far from having nothing in common, the automated checkout and the industrial loom are actully identical in one way, they are designed to be “attended to” by fungible unskilled worker drones.

90% of my day job is providing teh intertubez for just about every high street business you can shake a stick at, and they all have basically the same management approach to worker drones.

Do you have any idea what the modern version of clogs in the machines is?

Do you have any notion of the purely observational and personal opinion that I’m starting to see sabotage now, and I do NOT mean disgruntled employee types format c:

Do you have any idea what the modern version of clogs in the machines is?

Really… think about it

Do you have any idea what the modern version of clogs in the machines is?

How do you, undetectably (or rather, unattributable to you personally) take down these modern weaving machines?

8 x AA batteries and the guts of a plasma ball and a marigold glove
a quick shot of abs melting strong contact cleaner
a quick shot of salted or sugary water spray
cycling the power switch when nobody is looking
googling destructive console commands, for when a fellow drones terminal is left open and unattended
intense UV LED’s (wiping/corrupting EEPROM)

The list goes on and on, and I am starting to see all of them, or in some cases symptoms, because proof is impossible, unless they are caught in the act.

Like clogs in the machinery, in the early days, it was literally insect bugs, bzzzt, zap, and so even if you can identify the agent, you cannot identify the individual who introduced the agent.

95% of the time if an individual on site hangs around when you are doing a break fix, offers you a coffee, chats about this and that, that is the individual.

I just smile, if nobody threw cogs in the machines, there would be less work for me.

And people think I just do my putty logs and documentation and photos up the wazzoo to cover my ass from management, I just love being vastly under-estimated.

Comments (4)

June 29, 2014

Less than a pint of beer.

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: Australia, directly proportional, Germany, Law Enforcement, self employed taxi, Van Halen — wimminz @ 1:32 pm

That is a truthful and accurate description of ~~why~~ what my dad left me when he died. (oops, ~~that~~ was quite the typo.. lol..)

Nor can I claim that while he was alive, he gave me the deposit for various houses, shares in the company, a start on the corporate ladder, or anything else.

I was just about to write that “after the age of sixteen, anything that was ‘given’ to me was given in exchange for work, eg training on the job, eg apprenticeship at a trade, eg I bloody earned it“… and then I thought about it, and to be honest it wasn’t that different *before* I was 16.

I don’t mean he was a slave driver or had me climbing inside chimneys at 7, I do mean I had to meet certain expectations, behaviour, chores, so on and so forth.

I can remember being stood outside the door, shivering in vest and underpants in winter, age 6/7, and being asked a simple enough question, did I want to come in to his house, in the warm, given that his house = his rules, eg do as you are told boy… nobody was forcing me to live there, or forcing him to have me live there….

I know there are many out there that will say this is child abuse yadda yadda, hey, I was fucking *there* buddy, it wasn’t abuse, it was teaching a small boy a lesson.

To be sure, it is a lesson that has contributed to a lot of my problems over the years, but then again, it has saved me from an unknowable but undoubtedly huge quantity of other problems, the lesson that whoever paid the rent etc called the shots, if you don’t like it, contribute to the rent or take a hike.

Your input or say in how that “mini state/country” was run was directly proportional to how much of the total tab you picked up each and every month.

Further to that, unless you actually had the ability to pick up 100% of the tab, your role was adviser, sort of non preferential voting stock, you didn’t get to call any shots, ever, or say shit if your vote was simply ignored.

“You paying my rent bitch?” was what I said to the skank upstairs (who now smiles at me) when she came down one Sunday to complain about my music, which is playing as I type this. Not paying rent, no vote in how I live in my own fucking home.

I just stood in my bathroom and ran my hair trimmer over my head, 3mm buzz cut over everything, just let that shit fall on the floor,washing machine is loaded, got some washing up to do and work surfaces to wash and wipe down then run the vacuum around, (which will pick up the hair) and bung the floor mats in the machine for the second load.

Then dive in the shower, fresh clothes, put the towels and shit in the machine, job’s a good un.

Sure, may not be to everyone’s taste, but, I pay 100% of the rent and bills, why should I please anyone else?

If I’m co-habiting with you, sure, I’ll make allowances, a bit of give and take, but ultimately my fall back is living alone, calling my own shots, so that give and take better be a REAL two way street.

I’ve had a few dalliances with wimminz who ostensibly ran their own places, wanted me to give up mine and move in, but hey, I’m giving up my independence, in exchange for what?

I ain’t giving up sole owner and captain of this crappy old 100 foot tramp steamer and throwing all my resources in with you just to be the latest white shirt taking orders on the bridge of your fucking Feadship.. no way Jose..

Which brings us to all the single skank ho’s I’ve been banging this past few years, and how none of them have ever progressed to the co-habiting relationshit status.

Which brings us to how all those single skank ho’s have fared sailing those waters alone, or with a succession of crew / deckhands that come and go on the good ship Venus.

The ones I know something about… not well… not one of them… no exceptions… shades of Cheech & Chong, Basketball Jones…. and Tyrone Shoelaces.. I’m Gwana Kickbooti… bitches are all so in love (Jones-ing for) with some fictional idea of the next chapter in their fucking cupcake lives, that their real lives go swirling down the shitter….

Literally, I mean literally in every sense of the word, going from “two things I said I would never do are gangbangs and doing it for money”… well 12 months later one of them things is gone and she has had “conversations” with people, several times, about going on the game…. to my mind they are both long gone, hell I paid for it, not directly, but it still amounts to the same thing, even if the hourly rate was about an buck an hour…

Not much further to sink, except renting her own kids out, which frankly speaking isn’t that great a retrograde step from their current lives, either for her or them.

Harsh, but true.

This is the bit where that lesson dad taught me saves me from shit, ain’t getting hitched to *that* fucking wagon… no siree…

=======================================================

The corporate world isn’t that different, let’s take a place that almost nobody who reads this blog is from, so we can all view it equally, as outsiders… it isn’t any different to here, or the US, or Germany, or India, or China, or Oz or anywhere else… but plenty of readers from all of those places, so they will find it harder to be objective.

Ukraine.

You have between 3 and 7 different business “cabals”, each of which comprises of one or more very very rich and powerful person, and a small close circle of very rich and powerful people with broadly similar aims.

One cabal wants Ukraine in the EU, one wants it in the Euro, one wants it to be DHL for Russian gas, one doesn’t, you get the picture.

Below this level are all the pieces, Tymoshenko Turchynov Yatsenyuk and so on, politicians, lawyers, people who are merely multi-millionaires or billionaires, these people can be sacrificed on the board, usually just taken off the board until the next game, but sometimes actually sacrificed.

Below this level is the State and Government and Law Enforcement as we, the proles, know it….

When people say things like it is all fun and games until someone loses an eye, that is true, but unless it is you, or someone else on your level that loses the eye, that doesn’t matter… it’s not “real” and the games can go on.

In many ways these “cadres” are the true terrorist organisations, and they are as hard to act against as it is to nail jelly to a wall, they aren’t an army, or a company, or even a family, in the way we of the common folk understand it.

Amusingly, I don’t think this is all *inherently* bad, the very same attitudes that were behind the English enclosures acts and the discovery and simple taking of America and Australia and the dividing up of oil resources below the Arabian gulf are a good thing, if they are applied to new resources….. apply them to “discovering” Mars and “dividing” up the resources in the asteroid belts and they become essential and beneficial for mankind, apply them to a finite and shrinking (due to increasing population density or per capita energy use) pool such as English common land and they duck donkey balls.

Outright wars of attrition between cadres are rare, M.A.D. y’see…

Cadres aren’t the illuminati, (there ain’t no such thing) nor are they everlasting and unchanging… sure, the British Royal Family are still living off the gravy of all they stole at spearpoint and pass down through inheritance, but in the real scheme of things they are also ran’s now, bit players, not world makers and shakers, but the steam age created new cadres, the electric age ditto, the oil age ditto, and to a certain extent the digital age.

This is not a million miles away from saying the so called Dark Ages weren’t actually that dark, except from the perspective of someone who loved empire and meticulous record keeping….

———————————————————————————————-

The plight of any European country after the fall of Rome and the start of the so-called Dark Ages can be compared to my dad dying and leaving me insufficient estate to buy a single pint of beer.

It doesn’t actually fuck you up, so, anything you get in the future, you have to earn it yourself… big deal…. is that really such a *bad* thing?

With the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, just by being prudent and careful, my dad could *easily* have made me an overnight millionaire the day he died, and not just millionaire, but CEO too.

Tell me, who else on the planet lost out because he didn’t? And really, what did I “lose”, something I never had, a bunch of extra power and money that I couldn’t handle anyway…

Shades of Jesus being offered an Iron Cross by Adolf, if Jesus will let him in to Heaven, so Jesus goes and asks his dad if he can let Adolf in, and God says to Jesus “Nah, tell him to fuck off boy, you couldn’t even handle a fucking wooden cross, much less an iron one…”

On the contrary, what I would have lost, had dad left me a few million and a company or three, is the chance to learn, to be one of the common people, to have no burdens except those which I managed to trip over myself.

The cadres are as trapped by their situation as we are, the shark cannot stop swimming, the bear cannot stop eating, the elephant cannot stop moving to find fresh grazing…

The CEO cannot go down to one plant and speak to one worker and try to make his job and his lot and his work on the company product better… the only tools he has are blunt and crude and massive.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

However, none of this presupposes that anyone at any level is doing the best they can, or knows what the fuck they are doing, or is largely a victim of circumstance.

What would you do if I handed you US$ 250,000,000,000 right now, to do with as you please?

Funny thing is, once you get past the shit about “buy the company and sack the boss” and “buy a lambo” and “hire Van Halen for my next birthday”, funny how NONE of these cunts end up doing the things we all say we would do, living our own personal dreams.

Let’s say your personal dream is doing a Bogey, buying an old tramp steamer and wandering around the south china seas as the whim takes you, plying your trade.

Fucking try it…. that world ain’t there any more, and if there is no trade, you may as well make it a Feadship, and if you do that the relationship between you and the crew is different, and with the pirates, you can’t be one of the old school and have a few .50 cal brownings on the bridge wings, so suddenly you are basically floating around restricted seas in your gin palace, no more real freedom than you had when you started out.

That’s what the sci-fi books always get wrong too, because it always comes back to human nature and society, the independent space ship captain, they always were an anachronism, even back in the day before society and technology got organised enough to eradicate any niches that they managed to inhabit.

Those that were there were part pirate, part thief, part honest man, part drunk, and mainly trying to get a break, away from the glamour of the silver screen, it wasn’t all that.

It still isn’t, independent private hire self employed taxi guy vs Stagecoach + Virgin Rail + British Airways + DHL, all of whom work together and publish fixed schedules and so on.

He does it because there are fuck all other alternatives, not because he could have been Greyhound…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When my dad died and left me not quite enough money to buy a pint of beer, I did, literally, the only thing I could do, I fished in my own pocket for some coppers until I had enough to buy a pint of beer, went into the nearest pub, bought that pint of beer and drank it, here’s to you dad…

You know what, that ain’t such a bad thing.

Less than a pint of beer is more, much much more, than several million pounds.

Comments (8)

June 28, 2014

Happy birthday bro

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: DHL — wimminz @ 11:19 am

So there I was dropping some presents off, as you do when you get elected to be the free DHL guy by dint of the fact you actually do pass that way now and again, and it is off the beaten track for everyone else, not that I want to give any wrong impressions here, I have known this guy forever, hell, one of his now-all-growed-up sons is named after me, I can’t say I particularly like him, nor do I have an issue with him, it’s just the whole second marriage and marriage has to work at any cost thing that leaves me cold.

So anyway, because I am the free DHL guy as opposed to the paid version, and all of the above, it’s wasn’t a crash priority pre 10:30 to get that shit there on the day, so they akshully got there middayish the day after his fucking birthday… cuntish? Not so much, he’s out at work, so his bitch invites me in for a coffee, mini biatch is there too, school’s out, but not the way old Alice sang it, turns out they were all so busy running around after mini biatch, it being fucking school prom night, fancy dresses and stretch limo’s and all that imported American pwintheth bullshit, that this guy only got round to opening his own presents at 20 minutes to midnight, of birthday celebrations for himself, not so fucking much.

Don’t get me wrong, as a mid fifties guy myself I don’t give a fuck about birthdays, or presents, or any other bullshit, it’s just another day to me, if it happens to fall on a working day, so what, but, there is a fucking world of difference between *that* and then coming home after a day’s work and spending all my evening until nearly fucking midnight running around after some mini skank… you dig…

Bitch looks at mini biatch the way some low IQ bint with acrylic nails looks at her first ever cupcake from the $1,000 K-tel cup-cake-o-matic machine, with awe and pride at what she has “made”….. smug shit eating self satisfied smiles, do I wanna see her fucking prom dress… no, not really, she’s a sexless little skank so I’m not even that interested in seeing her out of her fucking prom dress, know what I mean.

Meanwhile mini skank is “talking to me” for values of talking to me that if you write it down and read it, it sounds like a polite young lady, how are you, are you well, oh that’s nice, of course there isn’t even an ounce of sincerity in it, bitch knows nothing about me, and I don’t just mean on an existential level, we don’t spend any time in each other’s company, and I have a sneering curl to my lip as I watch some mini skank try to blow smoke up my ass while devoting 95% of her attention to the fucking ipad…

I slurp down the rest of my designer coffee from the $1,500 designer coffee machine and boogie.

If I could find me a woman who was not a shallow worthless lying fuck I’d be all over that ass, but that would be like finding a fucking penguin in the Sahara, it really doesn’t matter what the genetics or anything else has to say, there really just isn’t the environment for an aquatic bird to survive more than a day or so, vultures-r-us.

I guess that’s what yesterdays post was all about, I see a penguin in the fucking desert, and some small quisling part of me wants to plop down a walk in freezer right next to it with the door open.

Course if you do, the fucking “penguin” won’t walk in, much less walk in and high five you and then blow you out of gratitude, because it isn’t a fucking penguin, just a vulture on the way back from a hen party dressed as a nun.

The vulture will die in that environment, just as the modern skank ho slut will die in an environment that a man would create for “wife and partner”, the whole domestic scene, it’s as fatal to the vulture as the desert is to the penguin.

That’s why the bitches don’t take you up on your offer, sure, they are momentarily impressed by some cunt with the agency and ability to plonk Arctic conditions down in the middle of a desert, but unless you are going to use that agency and ability to produce a pile of dead fluffy baby bunny wabbits for them to gorge on…. WTF is the point.

I was going to sit here and type “I might as well…” but the fact is, it’s not might as well, I really do pine for the days when you could get on a motorcycle and ride that bitch, and there were no computers or digital anything, unless da po-lice actually physically fucking stopped you and nicked you, you weren’t nicked, none of this shit about speed camera photos landing on your doormat 10 days later, or automatic number plate recognition systems checking instantly and live with centralised computer databases of data, or fucking photo-card licences or anything else.

I pine for them because I experienced them, sure, the end of them, but I did experience them, in the flesh, myself.

But, there is an essential element of human nature we are omitting here, lets say I start out looking for a bog standard 1970 style and ethos motorsickle, but brand new, from a dealer, it doesn’t matter why, recapturing my lost youth if you like, the point here is supply and demand, this is the thing I want to buy.

The dealers only want to sell me iphone with two wheels attached.

I get a bit more aggressive about what I want, fuck bog standard 70’s shit, I want a Z1.

The dealers point at the new for 2014 tree hugging electric iphone on wheels.

I get a bit more aggressive, now I want a Harris frame Z1, 4 into 1 open megaphones, and matt black, all matt black

You see where this is going, and it applies to all human beings everywhere.

The skanks, for their part, as soon as they started down the unrealistic demands for men, started narrowing the field of what was available, and their response to that was to get ever more demanding.

Guys, we have done the same, wimminz that quite frankly would have been acceptable to be as co-habiting material in 1990 weren’t acceptable in 2000, and what was acceptable in 2000 wasn’t acceptable in 2010.

We end up increasingly sectarian, with the odd alien intrusion here and there, the proverbial hap-illy married couple that are still in love and still married 40 years on… and going strong…

Of course every time you buy a mad max warrior bike that turns out to be an electric scooter with a body kit, you get more cynical and sectarian, which is where the thing comes from about wimminz who have already bailed on one father of her womb turds / relationshit being a doubly risky bet for any subsequent relationshit.

Yeah, the bitch is genuinely a really good fuck, but she already has two different kids by two different fathers, plus she is overweight, what the fuck else do you need to know?

Just that it is the nature of the man to try to fix shit, even shit that can’t be fixed, and maybe, you tell yourself, at the dealer’s urging, that the iphone with wheels is still better than walking.

I guess it’s the same reason I don’t go to concerts any more, or bike rallies, or the IoM, or any of that shit, it isn’t a case of nostalgia ain’t what it used to be, fnaar fnaar, but that shit really ain’t what it used to be.

As someone who grew up around shit like the original Z1, not just buying, but even riding a retro like the 1100 zephyr, it’s not just fucking “less”, but because it is trying to ape something that is no longer, it won’t just make me hunger even more for a real Z1, oh no, that won’t be fucking good enough any more, I want the fucking rest of the deal too, po-lice without computers and cameras and digital shit, bitches wearing tight jeans and knee high boots and frilly white blouses and wescots, 80 pence a gallon petrol, a fucking pint of beer for 40 p and a packet of fags for 32 p, and while we are at it, I want my fucking hair back too, and I want to once again be able to do a couple of blotters of acid and a couple of wraps of speed and chain smoke grass and cannabis and drink several pints of beer, not just in a day, but every fucking day….

You see the problem with not giving a person the basics, and then baiting them with plastic imitations of the real thing…

The baiting is just adding insult to injury. Much better to just shrug and say them days are gone, y’all ain’t ever going to ride some bitching piece of machinery half way to oblivion to check out Sniff and the Tears opening for Kansas no more.

That, or start being realistic, both as buyers and sellers, nobody got fuck all to offer, nobody willing to pay more than 5c for anything, nobody trusts anyone, it’s the flea market at the refugee camp, people with one shoe and one sock hoping to do enough roundabout trades to get two shoes, or maybe two socks, or maybe just some bog roll and a blow job….. just take a fucking hike with all that other shit that is your stock in trade today bitch.

Couple of fat old attitude dripping bitches, that’s where I was heading back from when I did the free DHL birthday delivery guy thing that this post started with, up their own asses, why don’t I come back some time and spend some money in their shop because they are lovely wimminz, the fact that it took me, a fucking man, to drive to your fucking useless shop that doesn’t stock anything I fucking want and fix your fucking internet connection so you could actually fucking TRADE…. crickets…

Comments (2)

June 27, 2014

And on our left, we have another asshole.

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: skank — wimminz @ 12:03 am

oops, it’s a mirror, which means the asshole is me.

Can’t actually say I got played again, because I put nothing out, just got ma groove on, can’t even actually say I bought any of that shit, no, the sin I committed against myself was to temporarily entertain the mere possibility that some one (OK, some skank) might have learned a lesson.

That’s the trouble with my attempt to render extinct the possibility of giving a fuck about a skank, I’m not really an individual, more of a collective, and it seems some members of the collective, albeit reclusive and very minor members, have taken some of the last surviving members of the poor leno genus and kept the cunts alive in a zoo.

I’m talking about this because I can’t talk about work, which was utterly fucking pathetic today, because if I do talk about work I will blow my cover totally, might as well just come out and name names, but it was a classic example of a whole series of fucked up decisions that all follow on from some corporate asshole actually cancelling something on a fixed date at the beginning of a project, according to the alleged schedules that this project would run to, said schedules and costings being of course conjured up out of thin air by the sales team of the new supplier of that something, and some other bullshit, probably trebles all around at the 19th hole…

OK cupid is fucking me off too, apart from myself, all the >80% matches are fucking 18 years old, which I can sorta go along with, or fucking yanks, which I can’t, or fucking freaks, which I can’t.

I got a sneaking suspicion that poor leno got cousins, and they live in the work environment and in OKC and prolly a lot of other slices of life too, which means it may be time to call it quits of just shooting every one of the bastards I see, and just agent orange-ing every-fucking thing, that, or take off and nuke the fucker from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure.

Gotta make sure there ain’t no skanks on the crew though, they’re sure to allow one of the poor leno’s off the surface as a stowaway somewhere, so nuke the bitches too.

Not wanting to report on the Ukraine, or Russia agreeing to take payment in Roubles or Yuan for hydrocarbons sold to China, our lovely press has fuck all to talk about except more alleged crimes from the never charged much less convicted, but the cunt is dead now so he can’t sue us for calling him a monster paedo at every turn, Jimmy Saville, apparently he was boogying down with corpses down the mortuary as well… though dead and buried, you’re not forgotten, cos I’ll dig you up, and fuck you rotten…

Comes a time, and you have to admit, if these are all examples of human beings, then I’m drifting away from humanity, or, if I am human still, they all are, either way it’s getting to be bestiality at best, and if you’re going down that road things like the age or sexual maturity or mental capacity of the beast you are about to hump have already faded into insignificance.

All I do know is I got nothing in common with the fucks, so whatever alleged atrocities one group of assholes allegedly commit against some other group of assholes, it all makes no fucking difference to me at all.

Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean I’m about to start my own personal red brigade and start offing assholes everywhere, quite the opposite, I don’t care one iota if the cunts live or die (just stop screaming while I’m trying to get some shut eye eh) which means I have exactly the same motivation to save one of the worthless fucks as I do to fuck them up, which is to say, precisely none.

I’m a personable and likeable enough asshole, I know that, people who meet me in the flesh don’t have any issues with me, but at the same time I know this shit just runs off me like air cooled below the dew point pouring off a flask of liquid nitrogen, not just an odour, but an effect so strong it is visible to the naked eye.

But instead of what I would expect, all these worthless cunts (OK, not all, but quite a few eh) seem to have the equivalent of the TG brain parasite that makes cat piss smell interesting to mice…. these worthless cunts find me interesting… go figure…

Stop the world, I wanna get off.

Actually, that’s not true, I want these cunts to get off.

We have gone soooooooooooooo far down the road of lies and bullshit about absolutely everything that even bloated unfuckable land whales, even if they are only 25, on swinging sites are throwing hissy fits because some bloke they turned down left em with a parting shot that her tits were way droopy for a twenty-something, which is true, and an understatement, and doesn’t even go near the rest of that fucked up protoplasm.

How is a guy like me supposed to get laid in a world like that? Pretty much by treating it all like bestiality, but I’m not that into bestiality, so you end up like a post apocalyptic smoker, all the cigarettes are long gone, and all there is to smoke is some old dried potato skins, and who the fuck wants to smoke that…

Things are fucked up when you start feeling like some Jules Verne character who hides away from the world out of disgust for humanity, better to go down the path of Dr Moreau, but that market has already been corners, with skimpily dressed 6 year old giving pole dancing demonstrations at primary school open / parents days, and I shit you not on that one.

Pre-pubescent children sexualised in every way possible by the MSM and state and world + dog, apart from actual hardcore pornography and actual physical sex acts, oh no, must not do that, you filthy paedo, and you must also look at all this blatantly sexual shit and not see anything sexual in it.

Which is a problem for me, because I will not do hot and cold, on and off, up and down, in and out, together and apart, with you and without you, the price is just too fucking high, and there is no pay-off.

In the year 2014, the most incredible, unlikely and unbelievable, literally, the thing least likely to be uttered or believed, is the fucking truth.

The last sightings were in the 19th century on the shores of Madagascar, where it was being stalked by the Dodo.

It’s the feeling I had when the psycho skank ho ex dropped the FRA on my un-suspecting ass, and then I start having to talk to da po-lice, lawyers, social workers and all, all of whom are only interested in twisting everything I say and taking it the wrong way and insisting I answer bullshit questions like “do you still beat your wife” with a yes or no answer, but now it is how the wider world is.

I mean, come on, be fucking serious, what the fuck am I supposed to say when I see a fucking six year old mini skank in a skimpy bikini doing the bump and grind on a pole???? “Will the bitch burst if I fuck her?”… cos you can fucking guarantee that no matter what you do say, however much or little truth or honesty or reticence you inject into it, it will be wrong and criticised and used as an opening to put you down with.

The parents and the pole dancing teachers and the school and everyone else is innocent, but god help you if you whip out your smart-phone and take a picture of your own kid, and this mini skank is bumping and grinding in the background, cos that’s kiddie porn bro, an absolute offence, which means no defence is legally possible.

Hell of a thing to live in a world where there are “crimes” to which is it legally impossible to make any kind of defence, and “courts” that are secret and closed, and gagging orders with penal notices attached for anyone who dares to fucking say anything.

***waiting*** for the fucking collapse??? It’s already underway.

Comments (2)

June 26, 2014

Ama-chewer night

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: Stanley Matthews, StarMart — wimminz @ 10:39 am

Back in the day, “professional” meant you did it full time as a job, and “amateur” meant you did it part time for fun, it did not *necessarily* mean that the pro was better than the amateur.

Sure, there were other connotations that went along with it, the pro was expected to “behave professionally” and so on, so footballers biting each other on the pitch was not the mark of the pro, google Stanley Matthews if you want the definition of a pro, even though the remuneration back then meant it was more in line with being 3 or 4 times the average working man’s weekly wage, not the stellar amounts paid now.

That was the flip-side, as an amateur there were loads of things and standards and approaches that you could get away with, any of which, as a pro, would see you instantly fired..

As a young boy I got a job “pumping gas” at the local petrol station, three days later I was fired for stealing £3, turns out they were having quite the run on thieving new part time employees stealing between £3 and £5 by taking the money for the fuel and not putting it in the till, about two months after I was sacked for stealing they discovered it was the full timer, he was nicking the money and blaming the new kid every time, he didn’t want any part timers, he wanted all the tips.

The owner was what we called “unprofessional” for his behaviour, he just took what he was told by his full time staff member and ran with it, in effect, he was not aware and in control and managing his business.

I spent three hours yesterday, on the company clock, shooting the shit with a fellow employee, easy to do when your entire days work gets aborted the instant you turn up on each site because head office has neglected to get all the required ducks in a row.

We were discussing lack of professionalism, do this shit ONCE and back in the day you got sacked, and these cunts are doing it almost. every. single. fucking. job. I. turn. up. to….. fucking unbelievable.

The guy is more or less a man after my own heart, but younger, less experienced, it took him longer to peer through the corporate bullshit, he like everyone else is swayed by the corporate bullshit, swanky head offices, glitzy PR crap and we wanna be like google and apple and everyone else with our flashy plate glass offices.

I asked him if he knew what our annual turnover was this year past, he did.

I asked him if he knew what one retail site alone of one of our corporate clients turned over a week, he did… I looked at him… penny dropped, he did the math, pretty fucking similar numbers.

Yeah, and StarMart has a pretty similar employee headcount, and it has to be said pretty similar wages, except the staff at StarMart don’t all get leased BMW’s to drive around in and burn a tank of diesel a day in, and the shit StarMart sells gives them a greater profit margin than us.

Suddenly he sees that our company is all smoke and mirrors, financially speaking they aren’t that healthy, they CANNOT be, the numbers just aren’t there (and as field guys we do see the spreadsheets and numbers) and the only thing we don’t know are the banking details, if we are operating on rolling bank finances, likely since we are in a round of corporate acquisitions, then we are keenly dependent both on on-going revenue and day to day interest rates.

Piss poor management trying to outgrow its troubles to the point where they can issue an IPO, get bought out, and retire.

Good luck with that in mid to late 2014….

Cunt has been with the company several years, compared to my less than two, he is on the same pay grade as me, but a thousand a year less munnay…. go fucking figure.

Pennies are dropping all over the place.

Then he drops a good one, he has known it for over a year since he overheard it, it just didn’t click, one of the guys on a much higher pay grade at corporate circle jerk central, who, frankly, ain’t that fucking good, ya dig, but he is on three times the money we are, saying that guys at our level out in the field were basically the shit that worked in the sewers, fuck em.

Only thing is, *we* are the only ones in the entire corporate structure whose jobs *cannot* be outsourced and off-shored, it takes a warm body on site to physically do certain tasks, no amount of virtualisation or remote working can bridge that hardware gap.

We both agree, we don’t do corporate bollocks overtime because basically it don’t pay enough to be worthwhile, and then my phone goes, my line manager, Tom, Dick and Harry are off sick, any chance I can cover on call for a day or two, I know you don’t like overtime because it don’t pay enough, says my line manager, ok, no quids, so I’ll take a quid pro quo, time off in lieu… he grumbles but agrees.

We part ways and one more staff member has decided to add themselves to our already rather shocking staff turnover statistics, via six months off for stress while looking for something else, I didn’t push the guy, I just talked straight shit, told it like it was, told him what he already knew, the five that could cover my region in addition to me, at a push, are now down to four….. you think it’s hot in this kitchen, I like it real fine, it’s a nice dry heat….lol

Search this blog for stories about the sound guy and the camera guy filming lions… oh yeah…

My two days on call, well, fuck all ever happens midweek, behind every hardware failure there is always a human being somewhere, and human beings work on calendar cycles, yeah, we’ll tidy up the comms cabs and re-arrange some of the desktop this friday afternoon so it won’t affect the working week, so shit gets broken for the weekend, and instead of being on call, Tom Dick and Harry just swapped…. hey, how the hell do you think this guy ended up driving 4+ hours each way to do a 1 hour job in my region in a site that is only 90 minutes away for me…

I’m just an ex professional doing amateur porn, cos I like it like that…lol

Comments (1)

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Wimminz – celebrating skank ho's everywhere

July 9, 2014

“You may be right”

July 6, 2014

I have finished reading teh internetz

July 5, 2014

Lossy

Canon SX50 HS review

July 3, 2014

Luddites, or something else.

July 2, 2014

10 items or less

June 29, 2014

Less than a pint of beer.

June 28, 2014

Happy birthday bro

June 27, 2014

And on our left, we have another asshole.

June 26, 2014

Ama-chewer night

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