Wimminz – celebrating skank ho's everywhere

December 17, 2011

Thrice is enemy action


You know the old saying, once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, thrice is enemy action.

Well, if I look around me at the Main Stream Media, I see everything BUT what we fucking well face, both as individuals and society.

The MSM is talking about everything BUT what matters, and it doesn’t make any difference what channel you watch, what periodical you pick up, what news service you subscribe to.

Is this “enemy action“, or is it just that all these people in power and the MSM and the elite really are no smarter than the guy who services your car, and I mean NO SMARTER, NOT ONE IOTA.

So HOW THE FUCK did these assholes ever get into these positions of power and authority?

I’m actually seeing a microcosm of this in my “day job” at the momentCeramics venn diagram

If we look at the Venn diagram in blue, we will get a clue… in this one there are certain areas of being a Potter and being a Ceramicist that overlap, common areas of knowledge and experience.

So in those common areas either one can say “Hey, what are you doing, that is wrong!” to the other one, and in areas bordering those common areas either one can teach and learn from the other a little about the other trade.

Obviously the more you know, the bigger your circle of knowledge, in the diagram to the right the two people are equally proficient at their respective jobs.

In my current situation at work, a multimillion pound project for a Fortune 50 company that if you are a UK citizen you abso-fucking-lutely have heard of, and probably paid money to at some point in your life as well, instead of just the two people, the potter and the ceramicist, there are around a dozen people.

Some of these people’s skills may perhaps overlap, but as you can see from the next Venn diagram, as far as I can tell none of these people even went to the same school of management.

So we have a dozen or more “managers” of various varieties supposedly running this project, but only two of them have ever been in any form of communication with me, and that was decidedly low bandwidth communication.

Down at the bottom of the pile we have me, and two other circles, we have all done this job literally tens of thousands of times before, we can almost do it in our sleep, while the management at the top vary in ability from not having heard of CTRL+F and managing to lock themselves out of their own laptops to one or two who can just about barely do the job in question, in theory, but have never actually done it THEMSELVES.

Naturally, not only do they not listen to our advice on how to do the job, they attempt to tell us how to do the job, then get all stroppy when we tell them that sorry, it does not matter how much you WANT it to be so, that particular command cannot be run without first escalating privileges with the “runas /user” command….

That is the way Winderz is made, it is the way it has alway been made, it is not a plot by us to make you look like an asshole, and no amount of insistence on your part will change how Winderz works, you just make yourself look like an ever bigger asshole and lose whatever credibility you may have been able to salvage, as to your general personality, if not your ability.

At this point I / we get classified as being the problem, and Mr Manager runs away to play with other managers and sycophants while leaving us to get on with the actual fucking job in question, which is a relief to us… a huge relief, to the point where your presence on the job Mr Manager will soon add up to “Take this job and shove it

So we have a peculiar situation where there is no identifiable practical chain of command and communication THAT ACTUALLY WORKS, and yet some policy to take over another corporate behemoth and incorporate their proprietary IT systems with your proprietary (Windows XP SP2, lol) IT systems more or less goes ahead and more or less gets done, usually by a tiny majority of actual workers down at the coal face, who together are on less than one of the managers / consultants involved in the project….

So for shits and giggles sometimes I go upstairs and talk to the decimated remains of what was once the corporate IT brain trust, before THAT was all outsourced to India, and listen with hilarity to tales of consultants and managers, hired at £500 per diem on up, tasked with outsourcing and offshoring yet more core tasks to the crowds of Bangalore and Mumbai types who have been flown over to get the Powerpoint and chat scripts, WHO HAVE TO BE TRAINED BY SAID IT STAFF, in order to be able to DO THE FUCKING JOB THEY WERE HIRED TO DO at £500 per diem on up…

…and sadly, it really is a microcosm of how and why our society is so totally fucked up.

I have no power or ability to influence this process, I can stop “playing the game” and get run out of the building on zero notice, and get replaced with another obedient monkey that actually knows which levers to pull and which buttons to press.

I have no ability to communicate their asshole-ness to the little circles at the top of the venn diagram, the management, because that is EXACTLY the sort of communication they exist to block and kill.

Nobody actually gives a fuck, just so long as noses can be kept in the trough and the wheels (however alarmingly they creak) can be kept turning that really is the only game in town, and not because everyone with their nose in the trough is storing up for a rainy day and wants to maximise survivability, but because keeping your nose in the trough is a “Way Of Life” TM for them by now.

So, being the time of year that it is, some of the managers turn up, and a significant pile of the ordered Ipads and X220 stinkpads are appropriated by said managers for “evaluation” and “training” purposes, which means handed to their kids as fucking christmas presents. And then they look at you funny when you refuse to update the asset tracking / movement software to show that item deployed in Gotham City and no longer in stock ready for deployment.

I’ll do my job…” I tell them, “you enter what you like in the database in your name” so they will find a more compliant monkey, or more likely forge the credentials of a recently departed monkey…. lol

Of course it is not theft, and managers do not lie, or cheat, or otherwise engage in all the base and scurrilous tactics that they accuse workers of…. not half….  some of the smarter workers, in “monkey see, monkey do” mode, wait till management have left the building with their Ipads and X220s, and grab a couple for themselves, and edit the records the managers left to show +1 of each taken to Gotham City office for “evaluation” and “training” purposes.

Me? I can’t blame the monkey in question, except for the appalling lack of taste and class, as I said to him while supping my (free) machine coffee, “dude, if it was an Alienware M18x fully loaded (eg £4k) I could understand, but a fucking iPad!!!

Anyway, back to the plot… enemy action? Yes, and to quote someone else, from many years ago, we have met the enemy, and he is us.

So.. lose / lose then…. shrugs… lol Burn baby burn.

November 1, 2011

Hell in a handcart

Filed under: Wimminz — Tags: , , , , , , , — wimminz @ 11:09 pm

I guess it is one of those twists of fate, but I recently found myself landed with a small contract for a huge multinational company.

Then it transpired that the structure was more complex, think a layer cake with several overlapping, or not so overlapping, Venn diagram like areas of management.

Then think institutionalised incompetence, to the point where this job is going to go titsup, or provide me with solid work well into next year, the job specification hasn’t expanded mind you, it is just that the PROJECTED work rate is approximately 25x greater than the ACTUAL work rate, still par for the course for a couple of million UK£ worth of new hardware and a Fortune 50 company.

Why should a Fortune 50 company hire people any more competent than the secret family courts, or the local cable company technical support, or just about any other aspect of modern life that you can choose?

The answer is of course that there is no reason it would, or would be able to, given that all of the above take their staff from the labour pool of people currently of working age, which means 90% of them never even had the rudiments of a decent education.

See, unless you teach a person an actual trade, it is flatly fucking impossible to teach them to take anything even remotely approaching a pride in their work, because they won’t have any identifiable work which they own, or can point to and say “all my own work“, rather everything is a collaborative fuck up, for which no-one individually carries any responsibility, and on those occasions where these fuck ups result in someone dying, all you have to do to keep your management job is to trot out the old lines about “far reaching investigations” and “no stone unturned” and finish up with “lessons will be learned“.

It’s all bullshit of course…. so we have in this case (no names and no pack drill) a Fortune 50 multinational financial corporation (5 in the management project team) a Fortune 50 multinational hardware corporation (4 in the management project team) a national service corporation (7 in the management project team) and another assorted 12 people supporting all of the above, which makes 28 management level people in billing full time for this project, plus approximately 25 others in various outsourced and externalized leveraged roles scattered around the globe, so we are up to 53 people, and down at the bottom of the pile there are two people, yours truly and a guy we shall call Fred.

Now me and Fred are the ones supposed to do ALL, and I mean ALL, the actual fucking work in this project, and of course being on the bottom of the pile me and Fred are paid less than anyone else, which is OK, I take the attitude you pay me peanuts, I act like a monkey and chill, but the fact is me and Fred have spent the last two weeks producing sweet fuck all, we have been explaining to 7 managers what the fucking project actually is, what we have to do, how we have to do it, and why we can’t do it yet because the other 4 managers above them, and the 5 managers above them, haven’t done some really, really, really basic things to enable us to do the job….

Think like this, guys need hammers, nails and wood, after a week of asking we get nails supplied, 4 days later we get some wood, 3 days later we get one hammer, but Fred and I are not allowed to share the hammer, it was issued to me… so today we hammered the first nails into the wood… and it takes a team of 28 managers and 25 managerial support staff to fuck up the job to that extent…

Meanwhile exactly the same grade of asshole is in charge of the family court system, the economy, the political scene, and whether we will have a war or not in the country of your choice, and exactly the same grade of asshole is reassuring all the other assholes that the Euro has been rescued, peace and apple pie is coming in Libya, we don’t need no stinking nuclear power plants, house prices will never crash by 75%, and there will not be another land war in europe.

What could possibly go fucking wrong?

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