By Thorsten J. Pattberg for the Saker Blog

Part I. The Arrest.

They detained me upon my arrival on a Tuesday morning, October 20th, at 6:15 A.M. at Schiphol International Airport in the Netherlands. I was fastlaned past immigration and escorted by security for questioning by two officers from Interpol and one agent from German Kriminalpolizei. They spoke in neuEnglish.

I felt an apparent skin rash on my infraorbitals and intense stress that blurred my vision as we walked by what must have been a hundred onlookers. Had I just gambled and lost everything today? I knew that they‘d eventually come down on me. Waiting for two hours in a windowless room, without my luggage, I was informed that I was being temporarily held for police inquiry over a German search warrant into my illegal activities of inverting the reality in Europe.

Crazy. How many criminal cases of “inverting reality” have you heard of? They must have cracked out quite a lot of fancy new imaginative crimes, given that crimes of matter had halved during the last two decades. I mean contrasted against the near doubling of Berlin’s crime-fighting budget, the tripling of laws and regulations, and the ever increasing numbers of prosecutors, agents and foreign contractors. So, it really only was a matter of time…

How? For all I know, it could have been an ex-girlfriend in Taiwan who snitched to the authorities my whereabouts. Or it could have been my late publisher. Or it could have been just idiot-me with one of my careless posts or comments that got flagged and reported instantly.

Yes, that must have been it. I ran into one of the many honey traps laid out on the web. Google search results with irresistible titles such as ‘List of EU realverts leaked’ or ‘How to invert someone‘s reality.”

They claim the realverts are the new terrorists. A certain German regime TV talk show host had mocked them as “reality denying perverts” or “the real-pervs.” Realverts sounds a lot less vulgar.

The realverts are just the latest subhumans, worse than the holocaust deniers and anti-maskers. Our rulers seem to have focused away from persons who just thought about it to the now real offenders who wanted the Exit.

The righteous agent from Kriminalpolizei, Kriminal-Hauptkommissar M Kretschmann, handed me the required FFP2 filter mask to protect me against the deadly virus in Europe, and a form AR-40 for ‘Assisting Reality’. M Kretschmann was huge in frame and hostile in his demeanor. He had been on my case for months, years perhaps.

He came from Bonn, the former capital of the socialist Federal Republic of Germany, short BRD, before its reunification with the communist German Democratic Republic, short GDR.

Yes, communist East Germany was actually a democratic republic. And West Germany is not democratic but really socialist. But it is not “National Socialism,” because… well, you see, the BRD is not a real nation…

In any case, Berlin became the new capital in 1991, but some obscure and experimental governmental organizations still linger in Bonn. So does the German Ministry of Reality Common, a watchdog that sniffs out the enemies of Reality.

They wanted three things: My electronic devices, including a Toshiba hard-drive and my iPhone 8plus, a headshot of me holding my passport close, and a signature that this all really happened.

When the Euro-agents left, Kriminal-Hauptkommissar M Kretschmann and another German colleague, Kriminal-Oberkommissar K Kaiser, were to drive me back in a blue staff bus to Bonn in North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany, as Bonn had fast railway connection through the industrial Ruhrpott that included the old coal-mining city of Hamm, my city of angels and final destination.

Alternatively, Kriminal-Hauptkommissar M Kretschmann instructed me, I was free by European law to depart the Netherlands later in the afternoon on my own, but would have to report in Bonn, Germany, no later than seven work days. That, and I mustn’t leave the European Union. Flying verboten. So there was no way of me returning to exile in Asia. Suck on it, I wasn’t going to anyway.

Part II. The Crimes.

Reality. I simply don‘t see it.

I don‘t see how the European Union is democratic. I see a totalitarian European Union.

I don‘t see how we are free. I see livestock human farming and controlled existing.

I see something and I immediately know what it is, and refuse to believe what they tell me it really is.

I guess it started in early childhood. I once dislocated my ankle over a schoolyard fence and felt enormous pain for weeks, but my father said it didn‘t hurt. Whom was I supposed to trust?

My time at school was painful. They told us Goethe was such a genius, but how could that be true, I asked the teacher, if Goethe was taught to fifth-graders.

We were taught, and this was at Realschule, that girls were our equals, and we laughed. They went out with older guys who had cars.

No, it is not a paradox. A paradox sounds absurd at first, but that’s the whole point of it, as in “Think for yourself!” or “Work will set you free!”

And it isn’t dualism either, which hatches two out of one, a problem for a solution; nor is it a dichotomy, like the opposing forces of yin and yang or ebb and flood.

I am not juxtaposing anyone. Inverse Reality is the exact opposite of what is actually happening. And they are using this evil mind trickery against us.

Just like harassing the people with stupid news about celebrities that nobody wants to read, it causes us to feel strong emotions: inadequacy, envy and hate.

So is taunting the people with a stand-in reality that is purposely untrue, it causes us to feel strong emotions: anxiety, despair and hopelessness.

So, why should our regime not fake reality? If the people were healthy, brave and bold, they would execute the tyrants. This is illegal, but not immoral. It is natural to remove an evil dynasty. In our fairy tales, in our sacred scriptures and our mythologies, in every good story-telling you have a reckoning coming for the wicked and the evil, or at least have the tyrants kindly asked to commit suicide.

Except in today’s America and Western Europe, of course, where the tyrants have nothing to fear and rule absolute, and ceremoniously torture, punish or sacrifice their underlings, any time and in the most creative fashion. That is the main reason why the realists stress materialism and ban moral tales and religions and censor all good story-telling. For them “the people” are just human material. Stuff to be relocated, used and wasted.

I recall not knowing anybody in my district of Bockum-Hövel in the city of Hamm who voted in any election, because we knew elections are fake and rigged. The next week, we read in the regime press that voter-participation was an all-time high and that the regime enjoys record legitimacy.

In realist societies or realsocs, whether it is East Germany or West Germany, or even Italy or France, we got used to ever lower numbers of unemployment, ever lower numbers of crimes, ever more democracy. Then, mostly after the next Federal election, there is an unexpected crisis, so the government announces a great numbers reset and the whole charade starts anew.

Millions of realists fled Europe and have now subverted America, so Americans understand exactly what I’m talking about. You have a negro drug addict and thief like George Floyd state-elevated into a mandatory saint. You have a biological man, Rachel Levine, who you are forced to address as madam. You have a teenage girl from Sweden, Greta Thunberg, that you are coerced into believing is the world‘s greatest climate expert. You must repeat after the regime, that the richest black woman in the United States, Oprah Winfrey, is the most oppressed. Your regime forces you to celebrate a war criminal, Colin Powell, as the finest soldier of his generation.

You Americans got your reality totally inverted now, just like we Europeans got our reality totally inverted before. We could no longer sabotage and brainwash foreign nations, because of two great world wars we lost, so we now sabotage and brainwash our own populations.

Inverse reality is not a coincidence but a device of psychological warfare.

Take the concept of the good German. In June 2019, a sensation-seeking German woman by the name of Carola Rackete stirred a boat with forty-one male African illegal migrants over the Mediterranean Sea and into the port of Lampedusa in Italy. Italy is not a sovereign state, but its cittadini – the peons – are under the impression that Rome has laws guarding against human trafficking.

The legal case seemed clear. Fräulein Rackete would have to appear in an Italian court. The European overlords in Brussels, Strasbourg and Berlin, however, had different ideas. They regard Italy as little more than a vassal state, and of no political significance.

Officially, the totalitarian European Union is totally democratic, of course, and has no less than “twenty-four working languages,” which, according to the rule of inverse reality, means that this is not so.

So the Italians who speak Italian had to present their legal case in English in Brussels, in French in Strasbourg, and in German in Berlin. Fräulein Rackete, meanwhile, is a German national financed as a charity, Seawatch, under the protection of the United Nations in New York. Everyone in power loves to see a white woman with forty-one black African males in toe stacked against Rome.

Reality had to be inverted. There is law, until there isn‘t. Italian courts were dismissed. Roman law was shamed internationally as inhumane and racist. Fräulein Rackete was awarded medals of honors from countless states and organizations, including the Medal of the City of Paris, the Medal of Honor of the Parliament of Catalonia, the Karl-Küpper-Award from Cologne, and an Honorary Doctor from the University of Namur in Belgium.

Reality is malleable. Italy is not a sovereign nation. And precisely because that is so, its sovranos and generali must pretend it is.

Part III. The Real World.

On a Friday, the 23rd of October, at 12:30 PM, I sat on the third floor in the offices of the German Ministry of Reality Common in Bonn, overlooking the Bonner Hauptbahnhof.

Realpolizei Haupt-Kommissar M Kretschmann and Ober-Kommissar K Kaiser had excelled one terabyte of blogs, videos and images and screenshots, over 45,000 items – very remarkable. I had been in contact with 327 domestic and non-European foreign realverts. Five years of surveillance of my social media activities. Enough for 17 accounts of breaches against the Reality Common, the EU Charter for Human Reality.

Since my graduation from Realschule in 1987, the BRD invigorated “the Real” in RealPolizei in 1991, RealPresse in 1995, RealMarkets in 1992, RealGermans in 2015, and RealCrimes in 2018. But it was in 2019 when the real became the total: The pandemic is now totally real. Climate change is totally real. The realverts are the real total threat, and so on.

Incitement to perverting the Reality, conspiracy of Abject Reality, spreading of harmful non-reality, atrocities against EU Reality Common or RealCom. Unlike Old World American law where punishment is accumulative and may lead to 497 years in prison, in Europe we have RealLaw. RealLaw as in no jury, and the maximum sentence is 25 years. Do not believe Wikipedia or any other online source for this. Life imprisonment is not life-long, it is 25 years. They just call it lebenslänglich because… inverse reality.

They have compiled so much dirt against me while I lived abroad – from unpaid student loans to debit card debts, tax evasion, illegal emigration, disobeying the terms of probation, violating parole – that prison was inevitable. If there was a prison for realverts, that is, except… no one has ever heard of one.

My skin rash came back and burned my face. Stress was eating me alive. I had received yet another service of a writ, this time from the Bundesverfassungsschutz – the Federal Bureau for the Protection of the Constitution. Except, the BRD has no Constitution. So how can there be this Bureau…

Besides, I noticed that in all correspondences, in all my files, in every document I was addressed in, there was missing my Dr. title. It became clear to me that in their inverse universe, a doctor I was not.

The charges were written in German officialese. In addition, I was informed that another super authority, the Bundesnachrichtendienst BND – the German branch of the American Central Intelligence Agency CIA in Berlin, had now deemed me a threat to International Reality or ‘InterReal’. Combating the enemies of Reality was now part of a global governance initiative under the auspices of the United Nations Security Council’s program: ‘Global Governance for Goodwill and Reality’ – abhorrently shortened to “the GloGov Good Real.”

Part IV. The Punishment.

If the rulers want hate, they will write hateful things and say this is not hate.

If the rulers want degeneracy, they will allow pornography and say this is not pornography.

If the rulers want racism, they will incite racism over and over again and say this is not racism.

But it is, it is – it all is!

After a while, some of their subjects will go mad. They lose it. Inverse reality works like a nerve gas or the poisoning of your food or electromagnetic waves frying your brains. At some point, and with increasing probability, certain types of people – the unaccomplished, the non-achievers, the loose cannons – will snap. They experience blind rage and pain. They lose all hope and thus all fear. They make it their goal and purpose to attack that false reality. They become realverts.

This is what the rulers scrambled for. Now they have the hate, the degeneracy and the racism they provoked.

During the Angela Merkel regime from 2005 to 2021, the realist BRD has ordered more crackdowns on its own people than our worst enemies, from Napoleon over Stalin to Churchill. More than any of our worst foes must have thought was doable to such a proud people. And is it not true that the most heinous and despicable abusers of people in world history – from the Aztec tlatoani to the Egyptian pharaohs, from the Chinese tianwang to the German führers – were domestic rather than foreign?

And precisely because we are living under the most sadistically repressive, unequal and impoverishing ruler-class, our unelected President Walter Steinmeier can go out and bemock his subjects’ dying-trusted hearts: “This is the best Germany that we’ve ever had!”

So we have criminal human traffickers who pass off as rescuers and we have degenerate boosters who pass off as presidents. Do we also run an international fascist racket that, inverse reality!, now poses as the Leader in global ethics?

Actually, yes, the BRD does that. It poses as the Leader in global ethics, and on a scale that will make you flush your toilet twice. Under the alibi of enlightening the public to the abysmal crimes of the fascists during the Third Reich, which in reality is the genius and brand and trademark of this fantastic BRD, the realPresse such as Bertelsmann Group or Axel Springer Verlag and many more, for over seventy years, have published weekly if not daily symbols, posters, stories and anecdotes about the Holocaust – and those realPublishers make billions of euros off it, exclusively of course, because if anyone else publishes about this topic, that would be considered a realvert crime.

Part V. The Exiting.

Under new European decree, Reality is inviolable. Persons or groups must not violate it. Upholding Reality is not only an unalterable human responsibility; those who obstruct Reality need to be exited.

This may or may not impede on my ability to visit the United States ever again. “As of January 1st, 2022, your residency permit in Japan has been revoked,” M Kretschmann informed me.

Who is inventing this crap? I am a human being. Why do I have to put up with this craziness. I want to exit.

Kriminal-Hauptkommissar M Kretschmann leaned over, triumphantly: “We are going to exit you. It is for your own good.”

And M Kretschmann continued:

“Tell me, Thorsten, since when, since the beginning of all laws, economics, teaching and ethics… has reality ever done us harm. It never has. Realverts like you are the real problem. They throw their spanner into the works of our fine governance and the works of everyone else who works for our betterment, which is everybody.”

This isn’t right. The authorities are persecuting the realverts through their freak agencies and bullshit laws.

Can you believe it? Hamm, Bonn, Berlin, Brussels EU and even the UN are culling us with repressive measures and mindless restrictions like travel bans, bank account closure, confiscations and police harassment, until the realverts have nothing real left. So how could I ever pay fines and legal fees? I could not, never. Those are just arbitrary numbers.

“We are looking at a 25 years exit.”

They are not real.

“We are exiting you from the world.”

This can’t be real!

“Oh but it is.”


The author is a German writer and cultural critic.

“This is your last warning. Stop reading it!“ –M Kretschmann

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[…] and – hopefully many – more horrifying tales to come.